Nomination Essays

Discussion in 'Nominations' started by br1ankim24, Apr 7, 2011.

  1. br1ankim24

    br1ankim24 Member

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    So I'm starting my nomination packets for the CA senators and will try to work on them gradually until I finish them during summer.

    For Sen. Boxer,
    "A short essay of 150-200 words explaining why you are seeking a nomination and want to be commissioned."

    For Sen. Feinstein
    "One page essay stating reasons for seeking this nomination, typed."

    When I write these type of things, I like to write sincerely from my heart (desire to become an officer and serve), but I also want my writing to stand out and be unique.

    I'm sure I share the same goals as many other applicants, but any advice on how to make my paper unique?
     
  2. USMA2016

    USMA2016 Appointee - Class of 2016

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    I have the same assignment (I live in sunny San Diego) and I've already drafted an essay for my MOC but have yet to write the essays for the senators.

    150-200 words seems waaaaaaay too short for an essay though. That's like a few sentences.

    My MOC essay ended up being 2 pages though, so condensing that to one page shouldn't be too bad.

    I wrote about how my grandparents' stories assisted in my choice to serve (I can PM it to you if you want).
     
  3. br1ankim24

    br1ankim24 Member

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    I don't come from a rich military background (cousin-grad from WP, dad served in Korean army) so I was going to write about how grateful I am as an American citizen and how I'm willing to uphold American way of life.

    Anyways, sure, you're more than welcomed to send it.
    maybe I could help you proofread or something too :thumb:
     
  4. robinhood17

    robinhood17 USMA Cadet

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    if there is any way you could pm that to me too,i would be sooo grateful. I'm having a hard time forming my thoughts into a clear cut,simply essay. (this is what AP classes do to me.) Good luck to you guys as well! I don't even think we can turn in the forms for Boxer or feinstein can we? Doesn't the website still say 2011?:smile:
     
  5. d.mcknight

    d.mcknight Member

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    Two pieces of advice from someone who is starting this for the second time around.

    One, try not to read other peoples' essays. Sure it seems like good motivation and a way to get moving, but you will just start sounding like every other essay they read. If you are having trouble, take a break, write down a few thoughts, come back to it later. You don't have to finish it all right now.

    Two, DON'T finish it right now. We still have until November 1st I believe. I'm not saying wait until the end of October, but don't turn it in so soon. Wait until your second semester grades are in. If you are going to a summer seminar, go to it and then wait a few weeks before you finish your essay. I went from around 80% sure about USNA, to seriously considering USAFA after summer seminar. I then did about 3 or 4 weeks of looking very deeply at different options and took a few weeks break. It wasn't until I started senior year that I decided 100%, USNA and the Navy was for me.
     
  6. F22F35

    F22F35 Member

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    I would include a personal anecdote of why you want the nomination/ serve. Maybe say what made you decide to serve? GL!
     
  7. Johannatrx

    Johannatrx New Member

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    For the application packet, did you use the online one or did you request for a packet in the mail directly?
     

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