statechamps2017
Member
- Joined
- Jul 21, 2017
- Messages
- 28
Hello,
I am reapplying for the class of 2023, having not gotten an appointment last year. My application is nearly complete, just waiting for my college transcripts to be ready in the next week or so. I just met with my BGO yesterday and all went well. I have a principle nom from my MOC and straight A's this semester, including my Naval Science and NROTC courses. The one thing I am looking for feedback on is my personal statement. Can any of you offer some feedback? Here it is:
April 16, 2018 was a motivational day for me. That was the day, despite all of my efforts, that I was notified I would not be offered an Appointment for the Class of 2022. As disappointing as that day was I was not going to let that circumstance either define me or dampen my goals of attending USNA and pursuing a career as a military officer. This decision is one that I take quite seriously and something that I am very excited about. Throughout my life I have developed a strong dedication to patriotic service and I am confident the Naval Academy will provide me with the perfect environment to further develop my skills, exercise my passions, and challenge my leadership abilities. My commitment to Naval service has been further reinforced as I begin to understand more about the duties and level of commitment associated with becoming a Naval officer through my current College Program NROTC studies. I aggressively embrace every challenge that I am faced with, I am always striving for high achievement in everything I do, and I draw inspiration by the commitment and service of others. The thought of military service humbles me and only strengthens my motivation to become part of that great heritage.
Many things have helped to develop my character and integrity. This includes my loving family, strong faith, competitive athletics, and my commitment to (Eagle) Scouting. However, a recent event that stressed my resolve and caused me to “raise my game” was when I was informed that I would not receive an Appointment to the Class of 2022 during last year’s application cycle. I always look at defeat as a source of motivation and deeper focus. Upon speaking to both my nominating source and USNA advisor to understand where I was deficient, I became laser-focused on improving my qualifications for the Class of 2023. I retook my ACT and improved significantly in all areas. I completed three additional AP classes as a high school senior earning recognition as an AP Scholar. I improved my high school GPA and class standing and graduated with Honors. And I currently attend the University of Wisconsin - Milwaukee (Engineering) and am a College Program NROTC student at Marquette. This focus, I strongly believe, has made me a more mature person, better-prepared to pursue my career and life goals, and a stronger candidate this year for USNA.
With all due respect, both to those who have served and our great military history, I am very excited at the prospect of attending USNA and serving as an officer in the United States Navy. While there is no way to predict my future as a Naval officer or how successful I might become, I always challenge myself in all aspects of my life and I believe that you get “what you work for”. I am confident that I am prepared to take on this challenge and that the USNA will surely help me to earn both my career and life goals.
I am reapplying for the class of 2023, having not gotten an appointment last year. My application is nearly complete, just waiting for my college transcripts to be ready in the next week or so. I just met with my BGO yesterday and all went well. I have a principle nom from my MOC and straight A's this semester, including my Naval Science and NROTC courses. The one thing I am looking for feedback on is my personal statement. Can any of you offer some feedback? Here it is:
April 16, 2018 was a motivational day for me. That was the day, despite all of my efforts, that I was notified I would not be offered an Appointment for the Class of 2022. As disappointing as that day was I was not going to let that circumstance either define me or dampen my goals of attending USNA and pursuing a career as a military officer. This decision is one that I take quite seriously and something that I am very excited about. Throughout my life I have developed a strong dedication to patriotic service and I am confident the Naval Academy will provide me with the perfect environment to further develop my skills, exercise my passions, and challenge my leadership abilities. My commitment to Naval service has been further reinforced as I begin to understand more about the duties and level of commitment associated with becoming a Naval officer through my current College Program NROTC studies. I aggressively embrace every challenge that I am faced with, I am always striving for high achievement in everything I do, and I draw inspiration by the commitment and service of others. The thought of military service humbles me and only strengthens my motivation to become part of that great heritage.
Many things have helped to develop my character and integrity. This includes my loving family, strong faith, competitive athletics, and my commitment to (Eagle) Scouting. However, a recent event that stressed my resolve and caused me to “raise my game” was when I was informed that I would not receive an Appointment to the Class of 2022 during last year’s application cycle. I always look at defeat as a source of motivation and deeper focus. Upon speaking to both my nominating source and USNA advisor to understand where I was deficient, I became laser-focused on improving my qualifications for the Class of 2023. I retook my ACT and improved significantly in all areas. I completed three additional AP classes as a high school senior earning recognition as an AP Scholar. I improved my high school GPA and class standing and graduated with Honors. And I currently attend the University of Wisconsin - Milwaukee (Engineering) and am a College Program NROTC student at Marquette. This focus, I strongly believe, has made me a more mature person, better-prepared to pursue my career and life goals, and a stronger candidate this year for USNA.
With all due respect, both to those who have served and our great military history, I am very excited at the prospect of attending USNA and serving as an officer in the United States Navy. While there is no way to predict my future as a Naval officer or how successful I might become, I always challenge myself in all aspects of my life and I believe that you get “what you work for”. I am confident that I am prepared to take on this challenge and that the USNA will surely help me to earn both my career and life goals.