Personal Statement thoughts & suggestions?

Discussion in 'Naval Academy - USNA' started by zachwilliams, Oct 14, 2014.

  1. zachwilliams

    zachwilliams New Member

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    I am currently enlisted in the Navy and applying for the academy. I'm a nuke and am on hold to be transferred to prototype.

    Coming from a family that typically goes to college and straight into the workforce, it was expected of me to do the same. But I had the desire to do something different, something that what I felt had a purpose. It takes someone with a certain set of characteristics to serve our country: honor, dignity, loyalty and respect being a few. The sense of pride one gets from wearing the uniform that represents the freedom and independence of our nation is like no other. Throughout my life, I have always strived to be the best that I can be, taking whatever steps necessary to achieve the goal in mind. By enlisting in the Navy, I knew that I would be able to achieve any goal I set for myself, all while serving my country.

    Although becoming a pilot has been an interest of mine for quite some time, staying within the nuclear program is something I am strongly interested in. The high caliber work environment and critical thinking skills the people within the nuclear community have are second to none. If I received an appointment to the Naval Academy, I would be able to experience the cutting edge curriculum taught in an environment steeped in naval tradition, which is essential to reaching my goals. That is, to become a highly successful, knowledgeable, and professional officer in the United States Navy. I want to continue to grow personally as well as professionally, model these character traits for others to follow, and further develop my leadership skills. I believe that by attending the Naval Academy, these goals and many more will be reached, allowing me to become a superior Naval Officer.

    Since arriving at boot camp, the Navy has afforded me numerous opportunities to learn and grow in many different ways. First and foremost, it has opened my eyes and allowed me to see all that I can achieve. Going through the nuclear pipeline has been rigorous and challenging. When I first reported to Naval Nuclear Power Training Command (NNPTC), I was unsure of how I would perform due to the high attrition rate. Fortunately, with hard work and perseverance, I excelled in Nuclear Power School, finishing in the top of my class and graduating with distinction. The ability to force oneself to continue along a path even though it is difficult is the defining aspect of a leader, one I continue to strive to meet and exceed.

    The three cornerstones at NNPTC are “knowledge, integrity, and excellence.” Every morning before class, we recite, “The Sailor’s Creed” followed by “Program Integrity.” This is a statement that demonstrates how crucially important it is that all of the Navy’s nuclear operators are safe, trusted, and have unwavering integrity. Throughout the past year at NNPTC, these values have been instilled within me. By attending the Naval Academy, I can further develop these values in addition to building upon other essential character traits for becoming an excellent Naval Officer such as leadership and responsibility.
     
  2. Casbus08

    Casbus08 Member

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    Your personal statement is fine because it is yours, its your life experiences and it is how you feel. Asking for advice on your personal statement on this forum is not a great idea. You will recieve a number of well intended comments and critiques which will tempt you to change your personal statement. The problem is you could ruin an already good statement. If you really want the best feedback on your personal statement then ask your parents. They know you as a person. JMHO
     
  3. 2018midmom

    2018midmom Member

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    Good luck!!
     

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