Plebe Summer - Phone Calls Home

[Zaphod]

Hey ... for new parents ... ignore the rude and sarcastic responses by some "experts" on this forum ... I've been where you are, wondering how it all works, what's coming and how best to "be there" for my guy ... and luckily last year another forum provided fantastic support ... WITHOUT the crappy comments from some here ... Too bad that forum is gone...

And I've been on the IMPORTANT end of the phone line, desperate for contact from home, for a familiar voice telling me it's going to be OK, to hear that SOMEONE is proud of me, that this wasn't all one big mistake, that it will all end soon, etc., etc. I know what works best and what is most effective for "the guy" behind the wall.

I've been the one who called home and no one was there through no fault of their own. I survived.

But please, go ahead and ignore what I have to say just because some mommy gets hers in a bunch when told the harsh truth that her baby won't be at her beck and call 24/7 anymore, or that the entire structure of Plebe Summer won't be adjusted to accomodate Mommy and Daddy's work schedules.

What the hell do I know? After all, I just graduated from the place while your kid was still a glint in Daddy's eye. It's not like I have any basis to my rantings.

I'm glad I recently updated my sigline. SO timely.

 

[usna1985]

Ok, folks, calm down here.

Parents:

Your children are in good hands. The military has been "taking care of" young men and women -- in officer and enlisted accession programs -- for more than 100 years.

USNA will make sure your child has several chances to call home. If you aren't able to make the time of the call, the world won't end -- at least for your child. Your child can call another relative, a friend -- it's his/her 5-30 minutes (however long they give).

Now IS the time to get used to not being able to contact your child -- or for him/her to contact you -- 24/7. It will only get worse, not better, when your child is on summer cruise or deploys for real in the military.

Your children are building entirely new lives -- different friends, different experiences. You will always be their parents; however, they will be returned to you much more independent and much less needy than when you dropped them off. Your support will continue to be invaluable but, at the same time, they will learn to find other sources of support. Sorry, but it's true.

It's hard for those of us grads raised in era before helicopter parents and constant/immediate communications to internalize some of the apprehension. In the "good old days," we managed w/o email, w/o cellphones, w/o texting, w/o Skype . . . you get the picture. And we all survived.

The world moves forward and the fact that things were different for us doesn't mean that you and your children should be treated the same way. The military understands that.

However, what we do know from experience is that the military comes first, last and always. And, as a rule, that means before families. For non-military personnel, that's a tough pill to swallow -- and probably not easy for military parents either.

Bottom line: set realistic expectations and be willing to be flexible. As noted above, you will always be your child's parent(s) but there is now a more influential force in their lives -- the US military. That's the path your child has chosen; the best thing you can do is to support him/her in it.

 

[MomoftheMagik]

Even as a mom, I'm inclined to agree with the "experts". (Actually, experts shouldn't be in quotes.) We do live in a world, and more specifically, a country, where instant communication is the norm. However, our sons and daughters are not just going away to college, they are joining the military. And, they are joining a branch of the military in which they may be out at sea for months at a time and, thus, very difficult to reach. But, more importantly, they are joining a fighting force. There is the possibility that these young men and women will go to war. I doubt there will be many phone calls home if that happens. We are actually lucky in that we know our kids will be safe for at least another four years. Many people I know sent their children from high school to a few months of Navy training and then right to facing pirates or patroling brown water in very hostile parts of the world. If our kids (or we) can't handle being out of contact for a few weeks, they/we might be in for some unpleasant surprises in the future. Have we raised young men and women or just little kids in big-people bodies?

In the immortal words of Irving Berlin.."This is the (Navy) Mr Jones, no private rooms or telephones..."

Parents, hang in there. You will make it through this next couple of months...and in a year, you will rightfully be some of the proudest parents on the planet!!!

 

[Mongo]

There is the possibility that these young men and women will go to war. I doubt there will be many phone calls home if that happens.

Don't bet on it. During the beginning of OIF, between satellite phone and email, I knew every mission my kiddo was going on, when he left, when he returned, what the mission was, and whether or not he was sujccessful.

I had rather not known.

 

[Zaphod]

I had rather not known.

I laugh because that reminds me of my mom.

"I don't want to know anything! So long as two guys in uniform aren't at my front door, I know you're fine!"


I miss Mom.

 

[MomoftheMagik]

Just seems wrong to me. Couldn't all this loose and free communication be a security risk? Anyway, the kids I was talking about, one is spec forces and the other is Riverine. Their moms don't hear from them much.

 

[AF6872]

I remember some Red Cross "Officer" (I hated those guys wearing those stupid uniforms and actually saluted one of them once in the dark although I really liked USO; the best of the best) coming to my hootch to ask me why I hadn't contacted my mother. What an embarrassment. She thought I was in one SEA country while I was TDY in another and I didn't want her to know I was there. Thought I would do MARS when I got back but she beat me to it when she didn't get the usual letter. Would have had a bad post mark (APO) if I sent it.