That said - once it happens, I do think it is highly inappropriate for her Commanding Officer to suggest or recommend or demand that she abort or even suggest that she "did this" on purpose. There are lots of shammers out there - men have their own way of shamming. To accuse all women who decide to keep an ill-timed pregnacy of shamming is insulting to all mothers who leave their young children behind on deployment.
I don't think there is one commander that would ever suggest that, unless he had a career death wish, since IG would be involved before the end of the day.
I don't think anyone was stating that this was their way of getting out of the bad juju's, but more to the fact that if she does get pregnant, even by mistake (the only 100% effective bc is abstinence), it leaves the squadron, patoon, brigade, etc in a lurch. There is something called C status, lose a body and you might lose C-status.
This thread is really about can she have them both, not about bringing over the conversation of the pregnant mid in an indirect manner.
Fact is she can have them both just like any other working woman, she will have to make sacrifices, it is up to her to decide if she is willing to pay that price.
IMHO, if Bullet's and my DD came to us, we would tell her go for it! The chances of marrying your hs sweetheart is 2% out of the SA's, it happens, but it is rare. Don't make decisions that are life altering based on
ifs. I am a realtor in No Va and I can tell you, that 50% of my military clients that are married, have husbands who are now stay at home Dads. 25% have made the decision that she will be stepping out after this assignment and he will continue his career, the final 25% will make the decision in 3 yrs when their assignments come down.
I think it is more important to stress that she may marry a military member and how difficult it is to get joint assignments. Her spouse maybe Airborne for the Army, that is a volunteer assignment, and unless something has changed, everybody assigned to the 82nd must be jump qualified. If she declines to volunteer to be a jumper, the closest Army base is in another state, and all the military guaranteed was that they would post them in the same theater...not great for a marriage when she is at Fort Polk and he is at Bragg! Also they get commissioned and married the same day at the SA, she is sent to one school for her specialty he is sent to another. It is very difficult to have both of them assigned to a place that is the best opportunity for their career, unless 1 has a generic job (i.e. JAG, nurse, doc, finance, etc). Specialties like helo pilots of different helos makes it harder. Look at Jeannie Flynn, she flies the f-15E and married a pilot that flies a 16 . He did not want to give up his career, she didn't want to give up hers, so the best the AF could do was assign him to Shaw and her to SJAFB. They have children, they have 2 homes, and they see each other when they can, but as a CC her job is 24/7. BTW let's remember Jeannie is the poster child for female pilots, her career was made back in 91/92. Just like, Fifi, the 1st thunderbird pilot (and I love her, she has the attitude my sex means squat...and she is a 15E pilot who calls a spade a spade)
Look at Gen Gould the AFA commander, his wife, is an O-6 with reserves because they decided to work it that way. When he was at the Pentagon with JROC she was working there too for the AFA.
Pregnancy is one issue, but another question that plays into the equation is the DADDY! She can have them both, but if Daddy is AD it will make her life very very hard.
Only a few weeks ago we lost a strike eagle, the speculation of why it took so long to release the info, was that the wife is AD and deployed in Iraq, she is not a flyer. My hats off, my bows to her, my utmost respect is given to her. She has elected to stay and finish her tour, her husband will be buried in October when the Rockets return. Now to the OP, that is real life, they had no children, but it is important to realize the father of your children maybe military and the 2 of you will need to be strong together if you are both called up. The father of your children maybe stay at home Dad. Yet, the real reality is at 18 you probably have yet to meet that man, so don't think about something that is 5-10 yrs down the road.
BTW Bullet and I were one of those 2%, we met when I was 18 and he was 19. I was not military, he was ROTC, we got married 5 1/2 yrs later after he finished UNT.
Finally, FWIW, I openly will state I have an issue with the military, I feel that as a flyers wife, it is wrong to give them a different CFA...when a jet goes down, you need to be able to carry out your wingmen. To allow them to run slower, do less push ups or sit ups is bs...our DD can do as many as our DS's. She can run faster than our youngest, there is no need to set the bar lower. I have lived with the fear that she could not drag my 6 foot 200 lb husband out of the pond, because we do this. Maybe the system should be re-addressed, you want to fly, than you must meet the mens standards, since we are not going to guarantee that the package only goes up as guys only or girls only. When it is your son or your husband, you too will want to know that they have the physical ability to be on the same level when bullets are flying or dragging a body out of the water. Before you shoot me, remember I have both sons and a daughter.
