Okay - I will share a different perspective. Not for our oldest’s room but our two youngest (twins). They are one year younger than our ROTC child (oldest), when the twins left for college, we were truly empty nesters. Being that our two youngest are student-athletes and at school 1400 miles away, they would be home for about 10 weeks total annually (6 at summer, 3 at Christmas and 1 at spring break). In fact in some ways, we visit them more frequently than they visit us! Our area has several hospitals that have travel nurses and it is a good market for short term rentals of furnished bedrooms. About a month after our two youngest went to college we rented out their two rooms for 13 week periods of time, 20 months later, those rooms are still rented out pretty regularly. We turned my office into a bedroom for space when they are home, and our oldest’s room is a large room and is set up for our oldest and one of the twins. The reality is, rarely are all three home at once. We also stored their stuff, and have not gotten rid of anything, although this summer they will be going through it now that it has been two years of college away.
Here is the reality, one of the two were upset and the other wasn’t. It was short lived as she realized how infrequently she is actually home and we were very intentional in creating space for each of them in other rooms. They are almost done with their sophomore year, coming home for the summer and there is no issue, they are just happy to be coming home. The one that is upset actually likes having her space downstairs, so she has admitted she likes it better.
All three of our kids are in college, and while there are scholarships in play, being able to travel to see as many of the kids collegiate games, or to help support our oldest with her traveling addiction, renting out these rooms have helped us do that. It is also helping us pay our house off early which is part of our retirement strategy.
Each family is different, but we have always approached it with our kids that this is our house and they will always have a home here, but that where and how might look different over time and that it is our property to do what we wish with and what is in the best interest of the family.
Do whatever works best for the family, once you are comfortable with your decision, approach it with finality and with compassion, but in my opinion it is the parents choice. Respect his property (all of our kids property was protected and not used by the renters). I understand that this might be emotional and controversial for some, if that is you, then don’t do it, keep the room as it is until you feel more comfortable with it. Just know that you are not the only one that has reassigned the room of a college aged kid. My good friend had the similar situation as
@utahdad her son went to college and her daughter had taken over the room when they returned from taking him to school two hours away. He is graduating next month from college and other than the first Thanksgiving he game home him feeling a little displaced, they have had no problems since. He always has a comfortable place to stay when he comes home, as do my kids.