Self-doubt.

Discussion in 'Naval Academy - USNA' started by Blondie1, Jun 15, 2015.

  1. Blondie1

    Blondie1 Member

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    At this time many of you are getting ready to head off for IDay. At some point you might experience self-doubt and question your ability to "make it". This time last year we were getting ready to take DS--we noticed minor changes in his attitude before we left. He was a little more anxious and short tempered. He became withdrawal at times with the family. We simply tried to be supportive and understanding. DH and I even told him if he realized he had made the wrong choice we would like him to push through plebe summer, but that we would support him 100% if he decided he was done after PS. He never considered leaving. There have been some high points and some really low points.

    We have discussed what he was experiencing in those days before IDAY, and he shared with us he was afraid he wasn't going to be smart enough, strong enough, just plain good enough, and he was truly frightened of failing and letting everyone down! ( Many communities make SA appointments a BIG DEAL--adding pressures to entering plebes!)

    He made it and is doing well. He tells us all the time he is where he belongs and Mother B is now his home!

    So if you or your DS/DD starts to change and begins to doubt, where there was never doubt before, just remember others have felt the same way! You are not alone---self-doubt and uncertainy when faced with a challenge in life is really a sign of self-awareness and intelligence!

    Good luck--and remember PS is ONLY 7 weeks!
     
  2. THS

    THS Member

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    +1 Blondie1, thanks for the heads up. I have noticed that DS has been reflective the past few days and talking about his choice/path vs the choices/paths of his friends. Weird to have your DS open up candidly, we're just taking it in and listening more than talking.
     
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  3. USNA 19 DAD

    USNA 19 DAD Member

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    Our DS is business as usual. Not sure if that's good or bad. He mentioned he is excited and a bit nervous, but then goes about hitting all of the open houses of his classmates, hanging out with the gang; and of course spending time with his GF. He has stated several times that he understands that his relationship (of 1.5 years) may not last, and seems to be at peace with it. Me and the DW are obviously beginning to get really wound up, but the boy seems to be really pretty calm. I guess if he is not crazy, we should not be either. :(
     
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  4. spelly

    spelly Member

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    Thank you for sharing Blondie1! Have noticed a more quiet, subdued mood the past week as DS approaches I Day. Been asking if he is nervous or anxious. Also have been trying to reassure him that it is normal to be anxious or whatever he is feeling. Just trying not to show my nerves. It will be a different good bye this year. Last year was a 4 hour car trip to college with lots of visits home and breaks. I know when the time for good bye arrives, I will try to keep it together, even though my heart will ache. Just a difficult good bye to my shy little boy who is now becoming an amazing man, and feeling such pride with the tears I am certain will be shed. No doubt in my DS and his ability, just in my ability to watch him leave the nest. And yes, it is only a short time before PPW! Thanks again!
     
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  5. Memphis9489

    Memphis9489 Parent

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    There is a little mind game I have played with myself that has served me well throughout many challenges - starting with the Naval Academy - continuing on into Navy flight school - then when being deployed on an aircraft carrier. I tried to think of somebody who has gone before me, somebody whom I do not think very highly of, and say, "If he can do this then, certainly, I can this!" Cheesy - I know. But it always helped put things in perspective whenever I thought things were getting too difficult.

    The "attrition" rate during admission is astronomically higher than the actual attrition rate of those who are appointed. Many very qualified and deserving candidates, for one reason or another, do not earn an appointment. Oftentimes, it's not clear why they didn't earn an appointment. Yet, most of those who earn an appointment go on to graduate ... if they want to.
     
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