- Joined
- May 31, 2008
- Messages
- 7,992
I'm not mad in the least. I serve one purpose here and one purpose only - to ASSIST applicants navigate their way thru the medical process of their application. In this period of transition, that is the sole role of parents also...some just don't realize that yet. So this doesn't get lost in the layers, I will also make this a separate post.
CLARITY OF MY POSITION BASED ON 20 YEARS OF ARMY ENLISTED & OFFICER ACTIVE DUTY AND NOW, 30 YEARS OF DIRECT EXPERIENCE AND THOUSANDS OF APPLICANT ISSUES:
BLUF: Parents do NOT need to disengage. Parents just need to remain in the background. The FACE of ALL Applicant/Cadet/Mid actions with DoDMERB; Congressional Staffers; B&G Officers/Field Force/ALOs/USCGA Partners/etc.; Academy/ROTC Cadre; yada, yada, yada. If someone doesn't agree with the below, chances are...their counsel is not very sage. (The most telling example of parent overstepping, was not even in this context. I was on a plane with a college professor and the Dean of a college within a Tier I University. The parents demanded to attend/participate in an appeal of a 30 year old PhD disseration !!!)
As stated in the parent/applicant reference document:
"4. While this is an Applicant Reference Guide, the operative word is “applicant.” We’ll help you.
APPLICANTS ONLY (If your parents read this part, you’ll know why I wrote it this way) – This is YOUR future, YOUR application, and it needs to be YOUR decision. Parents are very useful in providing YOU sage advice and counsel…in the background…say again, IN THE BACKGROUND. YOU should take all actions regarding YOUR application. If YOU are offered an appointment to one/more Service Academy and/or are awarded a scholarship to an ROTC Program(s), guess what? Your parents do NOT get to attend with YOU. While the Service Academies and ROTC programs have bunk beds--- those are for your roommates,
not your parents! Therefore, this process begins that transition of YOUR independence. Again, they can assist YOU, but YOU should be the lead on all application actions. They should be like the military guidon bearer --- YOU are the Commander and they should be one step to the right and one step behind YOU. They can discuss anything and everything with YOU, just not DODMERB. Go easy on them. This will NOT be an easy thing for them to do…to start to let go.
PARENTS: While I’ve emphasized the above to a fault, I can only share with you my vast experience in this area. Your wisdom will be deeply appreciated by your son or daughter, but the “action” part of this exercise is best for all, when the applicant takes direct ownership of THEIR process, with Admissions, Congressional Nominations, DoDMERB, etc.."
CLARITY OF MY POSITION BASED ON 20 YEARS OF ARMY ENLISTED & OFFICER ACTIVE DUTY AND NOW, 30 YEARS OF DIRECT EXPERIENCE AND THOUSANDS OF APPLICANT ISSUES:
BLUF: Parents do NOT need to disengage. Parents just need to remain in the background. The FACE of ALL Applicant/Cadet/Mid actions with DoDMERB; Congressional Staffers; B&G Officers/Field Force/ALOs/USCGA Partners/etc.; Academy/ROTC Cadre; yada, yada, yada. If someone doesn't agree with the below, chances are...their counsel is not very sage. (The most telling example of parent overstepping, was not even in this context. I was on a plane with a college professor and the Dean of a college within a Tier I University. The parents demanded to attend/participate in an appeal of a 30 year old PhD disseration !!!)
As stated in the parent/applicant reference document:
"4. While this is an Applicant Reference Guide, the operative word is “applicant.” We’ll help you.
APPLICANTS ONLY (If your parents read this part, you’ll know why I wrote it this way) – This is YOUR future, YOUR application, and it needs to be YOUR decision. Parents are very useful in providing YOU sage advice and counsel…in the background…say again, IN THE BACKGROUND. YOU should take all actions regarding YOUR application. If YOU are offered an appointment to one/more Service Academy and/or are awarded a scholarship to an ROTC Program(s), guess what? Your parents do NOT get to attend with YOU. While the Service Academies and ROTC programs have bunk beds--- those are for your roommates, not your parents! Therefore, this process begins that transition of YOUR independence. Again, they can assist YOU, but YOU should be the lead on all application actions. They should be like the military guidon bearer --- YOU are the Commander and they should be one step to the right and one step behind YOU. They can discuss anything and everything with YOU, just not DODMERB. Go easy on them. This will NOT be an easy thing for them to do…to start to let go
. PARENTS: While I’ve emphasized the above to a fault, I can only share with you my vast experience in this area. Your wisdom will be deeply appreciated by your son or daughter, but the “action” part of this exercise is best for all, when the applicant takes direct ownership of THEIR process, with Admissions, Congressional Nominations, DoDMERB, etc.
."
