USMC - Officer dating (schoolhouse / same command)

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zerokarma

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My question is: Am I allowed to date (both USMC 2ndLt) while at primary MOS school being at this same unit? Specifically can I be open about it and disclose it to my chain of command in order to possibly be sent to the same geolocation eventually.

Or would that be a no go to have a relationship with another peer student while at the same mos school and unit?
 
Welcome to SAF, @zerokarma. Now, with all due respect and as the parent of a USMC junior officer, I must say: Why in the world are you asking this question here? I’m certain this very scenario was covered by your commissioning source (USNA, NROTC, OCS) as well as at officer indoctrination (TBS). I’m also positive that it was made very clear what is and isn’t allowed.
 
Yes, you can date. No, your monitor isn’t going to send you to a certain location because of a dating relationship. Marriage is what the monitor would need to see to attempt to geo-locate you together. Honestly if you are at school house and dating someone, keep it quiet. Your CoC doesn’t need to know.
 
This is a good time to demonstrate initiative and research primary sources, USMC policies on fraternization, as well as co-location policies.

You can also try to stagger your class dates so you are not in the same section but with possibly some overlap. Dual military couples, dating or married, will find themselves separated at times. They do not live their lives in perfect tandem. It’s a challenge, but it can be done, with honest and open communications, full development of the self so they are not reliant on the other partner, and a willingness to commit to getting through the tough spots.

(41 years married, dual military for full careers the first 20)
 
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NavyHoops said:
Yes, you can date. No, your monitor isn’t going to send you to a certain location because of a dating relationship. Marriage is what the monitor would need to see to attempt to geo-locate you together. Honestly if you are at school house and dating someone, keep it quiet. Your CoC doesn’t need to know.
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Yes, I’m tracking this has no real effect for my monitor/assignment location.
But your answer sends me back to the classic “don’t ask don’t tell” and just go on with the course and hope for the best when locations are given.

My concern in this gray area is if I’m even allowed to be in a student-student relationship (same school same command) and disclose it.
 
Capt MJ said:
This is a good time to demonstrate initiative and research primary sources, USMC policies on fraternization, as well as co-location policies.

You can also try to stagger your class dates so you are not in the same section but with possibly some overlap. Dual military couples, dating or married, will find themselves separated at times. They do not live their lives in perfect tandem. It’s a challenge, but it can be done, with honest and open communications, full development of the self so they are not reliant on the other partner, and a willingness to commit to getting through the tough spots.

(41 years married, dual military for full careers the first 20)
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Yes, I’m looking into more sources, about this example in particular.
My concern in this gray area is if I’m even allowed to be in a student-student relationship (same school/ same course/ same command) and disclose it.

Thanks for your input and quick reply.
 
zerokarma said:
Yes, I’m looking into more sources, about this example in particular.
My concern in this gray area is if I’m even allowed to be in a student-student relationship (same school/ same course/ same command) and disclose it.

Thanks for your input and quick reply.
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If you go with keeping it quiet, scrub your social media.
 
Devil Doc said:
Why would you want to disclose it? You are both butter bars but you're not 16 so . . .
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I understand your point, I’m perfectly fine without disclosing it.
But it is not rocket science for a Capt when I tell that I have interest in getting assigned to the same geo as my peer Lt, who happens to be of the opposite gender.
 
zerokarma said:
just go on with the course and hope for the best when locations are given.
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Hoping for the best is where you will be regardless of whether your relationship is known or not.

It's the same priority as any other geographic or location preference. The reason doesn't matter, because the reason is not co-lo or EFMP.

There's enough to juggle with EFMP categories, inter-service co-lo, and intra-service co-lo (generally in that order). It doesn't really matter what other reason you might have for a location preference, just put it in.

Disclosing this won't help you get your location preference, if that's what you're thinking.
 
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nuensis said:
Hoping for the best is where you will be regardless of whether your relationship is known or not.

It's the same priority as any other geographic or location preference. The reason doesn't matter, because the reason is not co-lo or EFMP.

There's enough to juggle with EFMP categories, inter-service co-lo, and intra-service co-lo (generally in that order). It doesn't really matter what other reason you might have for a location preference, just put it in.

Disclosing this won't help you get your location preference, if that's what you're thinking.
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I understand and know that I can go on my merry way without saying anything and wait.

I’m just simply curious if it’s actually allowed in this specific situation to be together.
 
zerokarma said:
Yes, I’m tracking this has no real effect for my monitor/assignment location.
But your answer sends me back to the classic “don’t ask don’t tell” and just go on with the course and hope for the best when locations are given.

My concern in this gray area is if I’m even allowed to be in a student-student relationship (same school same command) and disclose it.
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Yes, you can be in a student to student relationship. It’s not a gray area, it’s black and white on that one. Happens all the time. Same rank, neither is in each other’s chain of command and neither is an instructor. I dated a Captain as a butter bars, different units, no issues. We lived in the junior officer BOQ and met there, nothing nefarious or against the rules. And a dating relationship means zero for orders. It will have zero impact. You can request what you want, but your dating relationship will not sway the monitor one way or another. Another black and white situation, it’s not gray. I have no idea of your MOS (and no need to disclose), but if dating, I hope you aren’t targeting the same unit. I know most MOSs that won’t happen, but some of the smaller MOSs like the 72XX field you would probably land in the same unit. That probably isn’t great for careers or if your future ends up going differing directions.
 
Thanks for your answer.
Not targeting same unit, just same geo.
Although currently in same chain of command during school. (Waiting unit assignments)
 
I focused on the "disclose the relationship" part of your question instead of the "sent to the same geolocation eventually" part.

I often give "inaccurate and misleading advice" so don't listen to me.

Just get married and surely your monitor will station you together.
 
There is a saying “just because you CAN say (or do) something, doesn’t mean you SHOULD”

Idk if it’s a well known saying but my dear GMA said that all the time.

You have to judge/know/comply with cultural norms in any social unit. Just bc you technically can do something, doesn’t mean there wont be (negative) consequences.

Choices have outcomes. Always. Sometimes goo, sometimes bad. Know your audience and move forward.
 
Unless the Marine Corps is completely different from the Air Force (stop laughing Doc, Grunt) when assigning members..."friends" don't get a second look for assignment preferences. Married couples do, if it fits the service's needs/pleasure.

Or have things changed that much in the last 12 years since I retired?
 
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