What Info do they want to hear from home?

Discussion in 'Service Academy Parents' started by popeyesmom, Apr 17, 2009.

  1. popeyesmom

    popeyesmom Member

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    I would like to hear from current parents, mids, cadets, etc. on what types of information you give or want to hear from home, i.e., serious illnesses, pet dies, girlfriend/boyfriend ill, friend dies.....how much do we as parents share and how much do you want to know and when do you want to know it? For example, my son who will be at USNA has a 102 year old grandmother (of whom he is extremely close to) who is starting to fail. If she dies while he is away, does he want to know right away or is it something we should hold off on telling him?

    We figured we should have this discussion soon before I-Day so that we know what our son wants to hear and when he wants to hear it. When is it best to share these things that will inevitably happen?

    What are the rules on attending funerals and weddings?
     
  2. Just_A_Mom

    Just_A_Mom Member

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    My mother had a chronic progressive illness and I was really worried last summer she would pass away, so I understand your concerns.
    I decided if it were to happen, I would call the chaplain right away.
    The Chaplain will get to your child and also allow him to call you. I think it's good that they have someone with them.
    During summer training, they will be allowed to leave for a family member funeral.
    In fact, they will make good effort for your mid/cadet to get away at anytime for a family member funeral, just as for any Active Duty service member.

    I think it's good to tell them when it happens, and not wait until the end of the summer, or the next phone call. Your child deserves to know and not find out later after everyone else found out and the funeral already happened.
    Definitely if tragedy would strike a family member there are ways to convey the news and allow your cadet/mid to get support.
    Having the discussion before I-Day is a great idea.
     
  3. popeyesmom

    popeyesmom Member

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    Just A Mom - Thank you!
     
  4. AF6872

    AF6872 Member

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    Other than a family emergency at home, (agree with the Chaplin first call) let them talk. Some will not talk at all and you have to drag it out of them. Some will not stop talking. Let them dictate the conversation. Just be supportive. Sometimes they call the current significant other on the first call and you as parents are saying "WHAT, WHERE WAS MY CALL"!!!
     
  5. Gen2

    Gen2 Member

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    With the technology kids have today, I think it's best to get the straight info to them as soon as possible. You never know who will text who and then post on Facebook and then call someone else....it's like a rabid game of gossip any more.

    When it's bad news, best to call the chaplan as mentioned above to allow them to have a safe place to hear the news and the opportunity to talk about it before going back into the frey.
     

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