I don't want to be in the academy anymore, but I also cant leave

THParent said:
OP joined three days ago and dropped this post like a grenade in the p-way. I am interested in what a few days of retrospect have brought since that first (and only) post. :)
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Well, we know he is reading and absorbing all this positive energy. Good luck to you on finals, OP!
 
You write that you "don't want to be in the military anymore," and give that for your reason to leave USNA. I'd respectfully submit that there's some poor logic going on here.

To the extent that your experience as a plebe at Annapolis makes you write this, it's flawed. Being at Annapolis, let alone as a plebe, bears no resemblance whatsoever to being an officer in the fleet. Now it may be that you wouldn't like being a Navy officer, but being a plebe gives you zero idea what that's like. Rather, focus on what it is you think you DO want to do and then ask whether that's compatible with service as a Naval officer.

My own son is a senior at a SMC, and I told him before his first day to never forget that being a cadet is in no way reflective of being an active officer. I think it took him three years to believe me, but after he spent a month with an active unit overseas this past summer, I think he finally understood what I was getting at.

In the end, you might be right that you don't want to be a Naval officer, but I'd submit you can't really know that right now and are, instead, falling prey to recency bias. Give it some more time, at least through this coming summer after you do some training in the fleet, THEN consider if you think it's for you or not.
 
OP, I hope you're still there, my plebe is going through a difficult plebe year as well and as a mom I can tell you that your family will support your decisions as long as you are running to something and not away from something as someone in these forums told me before. If you are close to your mom as I am to my children then your mom knows you more than you probably know yourself and she will be able to guide you. She may already know and have answers for you.

There has to be more to the story, be honest to yourself and learn how to understand your feelings. Being an "Adult" and "making adult decisions" can be really hard and it can be a part of why your don't want to be there anymore? How are the relationships with others? Are you being challenged and stressed about finals week? Are you not getting the grades you used to get while in Highschool? All of this can contribute to the way you are feeling. If you do not feel comfortable talking to your family talk to a chaplain, they can advise you better. Just be honest and understand your feelings.

Plebe year can be very hard but it is all about a mental state. I just heard a speech a couple of days ago about how life never gets easier and next year will not be easier and leaving to another college will not be easier, getting a degree, finding a job you like, dealing with coworkers, getting married, having children, nothing gets easier, we just learn how to handle life. As we experience new challenges we learn how to deal with different situations and everything gets easier. This is something that Service Academies are great for, they will teach you how to handle stress and challenges to the point that your life "gets easier". When we have a happy life with no issues, no challenges, no difficulties, no stress, we sank at the first challenge that we get.

Enjoy your semester break and make time to understand what is that you want. Finish the year and summer obligations and maybe next year, it will not hurt you. Other colleges will have their own challenges and while not be the same they can be even harder. Will be praying for you.
 
I am getting here a little late, but here is what I can offer. There is a saying out there; "be true to yourself".
Over the years, I have found much wisdom in that saying, because ultimately, you have to be accountable to yourself, otherwise, misery is sure to follow.
You have received a whole lot of good advice here in this forum but know that ALL the plebes are miserable right now. There is comfort within the plebe class, just seek it out. Don't allow negativity to rule the day, and as I have said before, seek out your parents. Talk to them. They are your true allies in this struggle, and don't do something in haste, supposedly every plebe on the yard wanted to be there all were warned not to do the USNA for anyone but yourself. I say this only as a reminder and as positive re-enforcement. At the end of the day though, you have to be true to yourself.
 
Mack1995 said:
Personally I would pay zero attention to moms and dads giving you advice that never went to an academy. You do you. If it’s time to go, go. Pay no attention to those saying to stick around.
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Every parent post supports OP’s choice to leave. They are suggesting, however, that’s they don’t do it without really thinking it through. And perhaps making a mistake OP would later regret.
 
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The thing is that the OP has specifically stated that he/she does not desire to serve in the military. That is a huge difference from a plebe who’s miserable due to plebe things but who is intent on sticking it out because they want to serve as an officer in the Fleet.

It seems their reservations about dropping were paying for college and the reactions of other people. If someone had posted that they wanted to attend the Academy just to get a free education and impress others, they would be chided by the same people here urging them to stay. This is essentially the same thing but happening backwards. Lots of genuine concern, which is truly great to see, but I think some folks are looking through their own set of glasses based on their kids.

Just being a realist. I’m not encouraging OP to drop, but it should be noted that there are legitimate reasons to leave during plebe year, especially if one is 100% sure that they don’t want to be in the navy. That’s why I agree that talking things over with a Chaplain, thinking long and hard, not making a rash decision is the best move.
 
Kierkegaard said:
The thing is that the OP has specifically stated that he/she does not desire to serve in the military. That is a huge difference from a plebe who’s miserable due to plebe things but who is intent on sticking it out because they want to serve as an officer in the Fleet.

It seems their reservations about dropping were paying for college and the reactions of other people. If someone had posted that they wanted to attend the Academy just to get a free education and impress others, they would be chided by the same people here urging them to stay. This is essentially the same thing but happening backwards. Lots of genuine concern, which is truly great to see, but I think some folks are looking through their own set of glasses based on their kids.

Just being a realist. I’m not encouraging OP to drop, but it should be noted that there are legitimate reasons to leave during plebe year, especially if one is 100% sure that they don’t want to be in the navy. That’s why I agree that talking things over with a Chaplain, thinking long and hard, not making a rash decision is the best move.
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Great insight.
 
Mack1995 said:
I’m fairly certain with your 5000+ comments you’ve got all the answers.

What kind of clown comes on a high school forum to start cyber arguments?

This is a teacher. Let that sink in folks. A teacher.
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As a fellow former teacher of young high school minds I can say I thought the same. Tell me more. I asked that of my students daily. Produced some thought provoking conversations. Many a high school student thought they had all the answers. God bless the educators that give their students the opportunity and space to ‘tell them more’. That is how you foster open dialogue and encourage broad range of thought and learning.

I haven’t attended a SA. From what I can tell you haven’t either. For those of us who have a child who has, parents who have, grandparents, and uncles who have (my story), we may not know the down and dirty inside baseball experience that an attendee has. But for sure we have some valuable experience and insight.

Has my kid questioned his choice? More than once? Heck yeah.

Do I think the OP should become an officer if they don’t want to be in the armed forces? Hell no. But do I think a pause and maybe experiencing summer training coming up would provide insight? Yes. And I will always agree with running to and not from.

No cyber argument was started. And this is not strictly a ‘high school’ forum. A forum member simply replied to your post encouraging you to provide more insight.

The OP asked for support and guidance. They have gotten a wealth of it from various life experiences. That is the nature of the forum. I am sure myself and others are thinking of the OP and look forward to their posting an update, and their future endeavors.
 
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Heatherg21 said:
As a fellow former teacher of young high school minds I can say I thought the same. Tell me more. I asked that of my students daily. Produced some thought provoking conversations. Many a high school student thought they had all the answers. God bless the educators that give their students the opportunity and space to ‘tell them more’. That is how you foster open dialogue and encourage broad range of thought and learning.

I haven’t attended a SA. From what I can tell you haven’t either. For those of us who have a child who has, parents who have, grandparents, and uncles who have (my story), we may not know the down and dirty inside baseball experience that an attendee has. But for sure we have some valuable experience and insight.

Has my kid questioned his choice? More than once? Heck yeah.

Do I think the OP should become an officer if they don’t want to be in the armed forces? Hell no. But do I think a pause and maybe experiencing summer training coming up would provide insight? Yes. And I will always agree with running to and not from.

No cyber argument was started. And this is not strictly a ‘high school’ forum. A forum member simply replied to your post encouraging you to provide more insight.

The OP asked for support and guidance. They have gotten a wealth of it from various life experiences. That is the nature of the forum. I am sure myself and others are thinking of the OP and look forward to their posting an update, and their future endeavors.
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Spoken like a true mom who never attended an academy. Well done. I did graduate from one so you can stop that nonsense. All you moms and dads need to stop acting like you are experts because you spawned a child. Your kid did it - you didn’t. Sorry it hurts to hear, but being a mommy to a cadet or mid don’t mean nada.
To paraphrase the words of A1 Janitor, another dad who never served, just because you are a doctor’s mom doesn’t mean you should give medical advice. But for some reason, you academy mom’s and dads make it a hobby to give advice on something that you have never done. Mind boggling.
I know it hurts to hear - but you didn’t go. Breathe in and repeat - “I did not attend.” You have absolutely no business giving advice. Stay out of it.
 
@Mack1995

What’s wrong with parental advice? OP clearly isn’t getting any from home given their reluctance to talk about DORing with friends and family.

@lost crayon

If you truly don’t want to be in the Navy, then leave. However, I’d recommend you finish the year and time your applications so you can start elsewhere next fall to avoid a break in your college education. I would also recommend that you do PROTRAMID before deciding you don’t want to be in the Navy. USNA (particularly plebe year) is nothing like the fleet.
 
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