Very Confused and Need Guidance

O

october12/03

Member
Joined
Feb 12, 2022
Messages
11
Hello everyone,

This is my situation:

I'm torn between either going to USAFA or a civilian school (University of Maryland or Howard University). From the beginning of this application process I have always want to go to a service academy, and my parents were on deck with this as well. But, when I got into USAFA they automatically starting having second thoughts (I have no military background in my family, so this is all very new to them). Now they are saying it's my choice, but in reality they want me to go to UMD or Howard to 1. Stay near home, and so I won't be isolated from them (I am the only child, so a lot will change in their lives if I go too + they would have to sell the house we live in right now, which they LOVE), 2. they are a bit worried about the lifestyle the academy has to offer (the discipline and strictness) (I am completely fine with it, and ready, but they are worried), 3. the commitment, since I want to be a doctor, with USAFA + Med School + Residency + Service Time, I would get out when I'm 43 years old.......So now I am in a state where they have kind of gotten to me emotionally, and I feel like I should attend UMD or Howard, to stay close. But, I also really want to go to Air Force, because it's too good of an opportunity to pass up and long term it will set me up better.

These are my goals:
I want to be a Doctor in the military, so regardless I would do ROTC at Howard or University of Maryland. (Howard also has this 6 year med program, which is a benefit of going there)
I also want to run track at the D1 level, all of these schools provide that.

I know that was a lot, but please provide insight if you can, because I am BEYOND lost on what to do.

Thank you.
 
Parents worrying about their kids enlisting or taking a commission is as old as enlistments and commissions. And there is nothing wrong with them worrying.

Most Americans no longer serve, They sit back and let others serve. That is the country we now have.

Besides I am a little suspicious of parents who have no reservations as far as the kids serving in the military. It can often be dangerous.

So in the end you will live your dream and do what you want and serve your country in the military because as a new adult that is the decision you have made.

Or you will do what your parents want you to do and start adult hood a few years down the road.



Its not rocket science——serve by going to a SA or don’t serve.



And why on earth would they have to sell their home if you were away for 4 years going to college. I will assume you are not going to live at home and attend Howard or UMDCP ?
 
october12/03 said:
Hello everyone,

This is my situation:

I'm torn between either going to USAFA or a civilian school (University of Maryland or Howard University). From the beginning of this application process I have always want to go to a service academy, and my parents were on deck with this as well. But, when I got into USAFA they automatically starting having second thoughts (I have no military background in my family, so this is all very new to them). Now they are saying it's my choice, but in reality they want me to go to UMD or Howard to 1. Stay near home, and so I won't be isolated from them (I am the only child, so a lot will change in their lives if I go too + they would have to sell the house we live in right now, which they LOVE), 2. they are a bit worried about the lifestyle the academy has to offer (the discipline and strictness) (I am completely fine with it, and ready, but they are worried), 3. the commitment, since I want to be a doctor, with USAFA + Med School + Residency + Service Time, I would get out when I'm 43 years old.......So now I am in a state where they have kind of gotten to me emotionally, and I feel like I should attend UMD or Howard, to stay close. But, I also really want to go to Air Force, because it's too good of an opportunity to pass up and long term it will set me up better.

These are my goals:
I want to be a Doctor in the military, so regardless I would do ROTC at Howard or University of Maryland. (Howard also has this 6 year med program, which is a benefit of going there)
I also want to run track at the D1 level, all of these schools provide that.

I know that was a lot, but please provide insight if you can, because I am BEYOND lost on what to do.

Thank you.
Click to expand...
If I were you, I would try thinking about your long term goals and where you want to see yourself. If your relationship with your family and doing what they might think is better or would make THEM happy, is the most important thing to you, then follow through with ROTC at those schools. But, I am sure you are an excellent student, athlete, leader etc and I’d assume based on how you describe your situation, that you are torn between pleasing your parents and doing what your heart desires. I used to feel so bad for a friend of mine who always had an enormous amount of pressure from her parents to succeed and do what they wanted etc, and thought I wasn’t dealing with the same thing… well in reality my parents desires, fears, etc unconsciously was affecting my choices too. Think about what YOU want to do and weigh the cost of both options, but your life is YOUR LIFE, so you have the ultimate decision in what you do with it. I know that’s a tough decision, but if you think about all those things that way, maybe it can help!
Good luck in whatever you choose to do!!
 
I'd actually recommend the civilian schools. The big factor here is your career goals. Going to med school directly after USAFA is a low probability path. Unless things recently changed, med school slots from USAFA are usually single-digits per year. If "success" is becoming a military doctor, USAFA is not the route with the best chance of success. Can it be done? Yes. Is it the most reliable way? No. Would you be equally/almost equally happy if you did 5yrs of service in a different AF job before med school?
 
I can't imagine what your parents are feeling right now. I was commenting on this to my husband just the other day. We are both academy grads (USAFA and USMA) so we know exactly what our ds is in for when he inprocesses on June 23rd. It is not scary or unknown to us. Your parents have no idea what it will be like so I can understand their reservations.

1. It sounds like you are headed into the military for a long-term career anyway. You will be separated from them then. Do you want to go to USAFA and pull off the bandaid 4 years earlier or stick close to home for a bit. Colorado is a great place to spend your undergrad years and a fun place for parents to visit. You will have a lot of training opportunities at USAFA that are difficult or impossible to get in ROTC, but will have a lot less freedom.

2. Strictness and dicipline. You will be FINE. My dad did not think I could handle the discipline of USAFA either and I excelled both there and in the Air Force. He knew the surly teen but USAFA helped me out of that phase quickly.

3. I agree with @raimius that USAFA is not ideal to go directly to med school BUT, they have increased the number of slots per year to 18, I believe. I also have several classmates that went to med school a few years after graduation. What I don't know and would be good for you to research is how does going to med school affect the ROTC route. Would you be on scholarship? Can you go to med school directly out of undergrad if so? What if you are non-scholarship but are selected to attend field training? There are other programs that will help you directly commission as a doctor. Those might be worth checking out.
 
I’m sad for how much you feel that you need to appease your parents. I’m sad that your parents are hovering and talking to you about how THEIR life will change. That puts a lot of pressure on you.

One thing, that they can’t know and you can’t know, bc neither of you have been through it yet, is that with time they will get used to their new reality, of having you on your own. So dont make YOUR choice, based upon how you perceive it to affect them.

Make YOUR choice for what’s best for you. In the LONG RUN, that will make both of you the happiest. It may be a difficult transition? But there won’t be regrets, or blame to place.
 
USAFA offers no discernable professional advantage for non-pilots. A USAFA background is all but prerequisite to career advancement in the military flying world. The school's culture and programs are geared toward preparing cadets for the fraternal, flying culture they'll encounter. For graduates entering the non-flying Air Force, they begin their careers on the same political footing as their ROTC and OTS counterparts who have invested far less time and effort in earning their commissions. If you're aim is to serve as a doctor or medical professional in the military, I'd recommend a civilian undergrad institution and follow-on medical school. Once you've completed your schooling, you can always apply for OTS if serving as a doctor is still something you desire.
 
Nobody on this forum can answer this for you. But I applaud you for reaching out for guidance and wise input.

Whether you were an only child or one of ten, this would be tough on your parents. The day we left our DS on the curb in our airport for USNA 2024 IDay our lives shifted irrevocably. While my heart broke and cried, it slowly mended itself. With pride and joy. With the knowledge that my son was pursuing the life he saw for himself.

Can I guarantee he gets what he wants (aviation for him, medical for you)? No. Of course not. Even if he gets aviation who is to say he makes it through?

There are no guarantees. Pursue your path.
The first two years at a SA are a trial run. You can walk away. And attend a civilian path.
It’s not a tattoo. It isn’t permanent if you don’t want it to be prior to the beginning of the third year.

Help your parents fall in love with your dream. Even if you don’t achieve it as you see it now, they will be blessed for having been on your journey with you.
 
skyfox said:
USAFA offers no discernable professional advantage for non-pilots. A USAFA background is all but prerequisite to career advancement in the military flying world. The school's culture and programs are geared toward preparing cadets for the fraternal, flying culture they'll encounter. For graduates entering the non-flying Air Force, they begin their careers on the same political footing as their ROTC and OTS counterparts who have invested far less time and effort in earning their commissions.
Click to expand...
That's a hot take. Care to expand/clarify?
 
Heatherg21 said:
Nobody on this forum can answer this for you. But I applaud you for reaching out for guidance and wise input.

Whether you were an only child or one of ten, this would be tough on your parents. The day we left our DS on the curb in our airport for USNA 2024 IDay our lives shifted irrevocably. While my heart broke and cried, it slowly mended itself. With pride and joy. With the knowledge that my son was pursuing the life he saw for himself.

Can I guarantee he gets what he wants (aviation for him, medical for you)? No. Of course not. Even if he gets aviation who is to say he makes it through?

There are no guarantees. Pursue your path.
The first two years at a SA are a trial run. You can walk away. And attend a civilian path.
It’s not a tattoo. It isn’t permanent if you don’t want it to be prior to the beginning of the third year.

Help your parents fall in love with your dream. Even if you don’t achieve it as you see it now, they will be blessed for having been on your journey with you.
Click to expand...
skyfox said:
USAFA offers no discernable professional advantage for non-pilots. A USAFA background is all but prerequisite to career advancement in the military flying world. The school's culture and programs are geared toward preparing cadets for the fraternal, flying culture they'll encounter. For graduates entering the non-flying Air Force, they begin their careers on the same political footing as their ROTC and OTS counterparts who have invested far less time and effort in earning their commissions. If you're aim is to serve as a doctor or medical professional in the military, I'd recommend a civilian undergrad institution and follow-on medical school. Once you've completed your schooling, you can always apply for OTS if serving as a doctor is still something you desire.
Click to expand...
Just shooting from the hip here but I’m fairly certain there are plenty of alumnus who might disagree.
The school culture is geared toward turning out the most prepared Air Force Junior officers they can. Cadets who have lived and breathed a military culture for four years.
I’m not negating other commissioning paths. At all.
But saying USAFA is something that only aviation selects benefit from doesn’t seem accurate to me.
 
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skyfox said:
USAFA offers no discernable professional advantage for non-pilots. A USAFA background is all but prerequisite to career advancement in the military flying world. The school's culture and programs are geared toward preparing cadets for the fraternal, flying culture they'll encounter. For graduates entering the non-flying Air Force, they begin their careers on the same political footing as their ROTC and OTS counterparts who have invested far less time and effort in earning their commissions. If you're aim is to serve as a doctor or medical professional in the military, I'd recommend a civilian undergrad institution and follow-on medical school. Once you've completed your schooling, you can always apply for OTS if serving as a doctor is still something you desire.
Click to expand...

Heatherg21 said:
Just shooting from the hip here but I’m fairly certain there are plenty of alumnus who might disagree.
The school culture is geared toward turning out the most prepared Air Force Junior officers they can. Cadets who have lived and breathed a military culture for four years.
I’m not negating other commissioning paths. At all.
But saying USAFA is something that only aviation selects benefit from doesn’t seem accurate to me.
Click to expand...
I am one of those non-flying grads who completely disagrees! I'm not even sure how to respond to a comment like that. I will point out that with the class of 2021, 40.8% of the class was potentially pilot qualfied and 39% got pilot slots. That's a lot of non-flying grads.
 
Remember this is your life to decide not your parents. Having the first (and only child) go off to college is hard but they’ll figure it out and be just fine. The big question is where would you like to be. Which academic path best suits your goals. If you plan to run track, which of the team cultures did you like best? You’ll be spending an awful lot of time with them (5 plus hours per day) so you need to make sure you like them. Which school would you choose if you couldn’t compete? Nobody can answer the question besides you but those are a few things to think about.

As an aside my DD loves the track and xc programs at USAFA. They work hard but have a great team conraderie. They are out to make each other better athletes and people and not out to take each other’s slots.
 
CrabbittMom said:
Remember this is your life to decide not your parents. Having the first (and only child) go off to college is hard but they’ll figure it out and be just fine. The big question is where would you like to be. Which academic path best suits your goals. If you plan to run track, which of the team cultures did you like best? You’ll be spending an awful lot of time with them (5 plus hours per day) so you need to make sure you like them. Which school would you choose if you couldn’t compete? Nobody can answer the question besides you but those are a few things to think about.

As an aside my DD loves the track and xc programs at USAFA. They work hard but have a great team conraderie. They are out to make each other better athletes and people and not out to take each other’s slots.
Click to expand...
This is kinda a side note but I was just wondering if you know how hard it is to walk on the xc team.
 
skyfox said:
USAFA offers no discernable professional advantage for non-pilots. A USAFA background is all but prerequisite to career advancement in the military flying world. The school's culture and programs are geared toward preparing cadets for the fraternal, flying culture they'll encounter. For graduates entering the non-flying Air Force, they begin their careers on the same political footing as their ROTC and OTS counterparts who have invested far less time and effort in earning their commissions. If you're aim is to serve as a doctor or medical professional in the military, I'd recommend a civilian undergrad institution and follow-on medical school. Once you've completed your schooling, you can always apply for OTS if serving as a doctor is still something you desire.
Click to expand...
I too am wondering how you came to this conclusion. Commissioning source does not have much, if any, influence on career advancement. Through O-3 it's basically, "didn't screw up, got promoted." After that, college is far enough behind you that actual career performance/your records are what matters.
 
raimius said:
I'd actually recommend the civilian schools. The big factor here is your career goals. Going to med school directly after USAFA is a low probability path. Unless things recently changed, med school slots from USAFA are usually single-digits per year. If "success" is becoming a military doctor, USAFA is not the route with the best chance of success. Can it be done? Yes. Is it the most reliable way? No. Would you be equally/almost equally happy if you did 5yrs of service in a different AF job before med school?
Click to expand...
The other side of this coin - it’s my understanding that few cadets/Mids actually apply for medical school slots. So there may be limited spots available there are also limited applicants for those slots.

I don’t have firsthand information but this is my understanding

Just another point to consider
 
If med school/med profession is your hands down #1, then you need to seriously rethink why USAFA as your college choice, because it is no gaurantee you will be tops, selected, etc. Bottom line: needs of the AF.

Graduate school/national scholarships etc are a tricky topic. It is dependent on current needs, availability, competition within your major, competition with USAFA candidates overall, competition to even get into xyz program, and/or scholarship required, permission to apply, whether your commission job will let you go even if you get an offer from (xyz program), etc. Cannot generalize other than to say you probably need to be super-tops or extremely lucky against many factors outside of your control. What is in your control NOW is to make an informed decision for the highest probability of achieving your goals, and perhaps adding a column for weighted % importance of each factor - ex. service, D1 sport, must-have-med-school option, close to home, cost, etc.
 
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