Good luck at VMI.... everything is a let down after visiting Annapolis. I was oooohhhhing and ahhhhing at Yale and my DD was like eeehhh whatever.
My DD, and my husband and I had a very different experience when my daughter did the overnight at VMI last year. My DD had been laser focused on USNA for years. Only applied to other colleges at my insistence that she needed a backup plan. DD only agreed to apply to two other colleges - VMI and the Citadel - and she only agreed to apply to them because the entire corps are in ROTC, compared to all the other colleges where ROTC is a small component of the larger school. She wanted the "all in" component, where everyone has the same mindset that she does. She was accepted into both schools surprisingly fast and we scheduled overnight visits to both.
She had already been to the USNA CVW and loved it there. I mean she truly loved, loved, LOVED USNA! So did we, as her parents. But we still insisted she attend the overnight at VMI and the Citadel...."just in case."
My DD tried like crazy to find something about VMI that she did not like....but she just couldn't. She loved every single thing about it. We parents were blown away by the Institute. VMI was where she belonged. We felt it and so did she.
Leaving the overnight, we asked DD her thoughts about comparing VMI to USNA; if money was no object, which would she choose? She very thoughtfully said that while USNA would be a tremendous start to her military career and would help her to become the best officer she could be, she felt like VMI would equally accomplish that in a way that's better for her (being smaller), and she really felt like VMI would help her to become not just the best officer she could be, but VMI would develop her into the best PERSON she could be.
It was actually a sigh of relief for all of us when that TWE came late last March. VMI was no backup plan - it had actually become her first choice.
I am not suggesting that your son's or daughters would have the same impression of VMI that we did, although I cannot say enough great things about VMI. What I am trying to say is that sometimes what you "think" is a plan B is actually exactly where you belong. And when you realize it - you just simply "know".
Best of luck on your journey!