Class of 2025 - First Day Tips

[Haveaniceday]

Congratulations to all the Swabs reporting next Monday to begin their 200-week journey to become an Ensign in the USCG; now the real work begins. I see it will be raining and 75 degrees on R-day in New London on Monday! While most accepted Swab's parents have moved to the parent class Facebook website for communication, I wanted to offer a few parting suggestions on this forum:

1. Most incoming Swab's will get little sleep the night before, so plan on staying up with them and keep things light.

2. After processing when they appear as a Battalion on the Parade Field, get the class photo, then are allowed 10 min. to say goodbye to you (if covid protocol allows) this 10 min can go one of two ways: a) Hey mom, this is great, best thing I ever did! or b) Mom, I made a mistake, take me home now! While the ride home with your spouse is significantly easier if your child says a), don't worry if your child is more in the b) camp. Both types cross the stage in equal numbers on graduation day, and the first indoctrination week is not designed to be easy.

3. You will not hear from them for a long time. Mail is slow and privilege's are modest the first few weeks. In this era of instant communication, it can be hard, but hang in there, you will get a letter soon. When you get the letter it may be a) or b), don't worry, it gets better. Keep checking the Facebook site and you will see a photo of your child eventually. Even if you see them on crutches, you know they are hanging in and doing well.

4. Most importantly, write a letter to your Swab now, seal it in an envelope and make sure he/she takes it with them in their backpack for R-day. The outside of the letter should say "Open only when you are thinking about quitting" They are adults, and after being sworn in on Monday, they are soldiers, the academy will not let you know if they decide to quit, often your first indication is when they call from the airport telling you they are coming home and to meet them at the airport. Happens every year. There is an element on these discussion boards that thinks it can't be there kid, my kid wants this life, etc. Well it can be any kid, for example, if his best friend DORs (quits) he/she may too. Basic training, homesickness, injuries, etc. can be a lot and each Swab will consider quitting at one time or another, same as every other solider in every service. So, write the letter, tell them to think about the reasons they applied and accepted and have those reasons changed or are they just having a bad day? Add whatever else you feel is appropriate. Then tell them something to the effect of, "If you are still thinking about coming home, ask to see the Chaplin first before you decide." Chaplin's are the military version of a counselor, the Cadre will get them in the same day or next morning if they ask, as it is a priority tasking to them. Sometimes, getting out of the Swab bubble for 30 min and talking to someone is all they need to re-double their efforts and get back into it. For some, it may be best for them to depart, but this way, you gave them your thoughts first and they spoke to someone about it before leaving so it will be a more informed decision.

Life is a team sport, don't let them go it alone.

Good luck!

 

[trackandfield08]

Excellent post from @Haveaniceday for the parents of incoming swabs! I concur wholeheartedly and would like to emphasize a couple of points:

2. Do your best to stay upbeat and positive during this 10-minute interaction, especially if you DS/DD falls into camp b. This is the time where parents/guardians need to be strong for their swab. Your DS/DD just went through a whirlwind of a day full of stress, yelling, time demands, and an unfamiliar environment. You are the known element for your swab in this day and they will need your support, even if it just involves giving them a gatorade or a hug! So, while this is also an emotional day for you, do your best to stave off the tears or worries until that 10 minute period is over and your DS/DD is marching away. To be honest, in my mind, the 10-minute period is more of a hindrance than a help for the actual swab, although it is certainly a proud moment for all. But as the OP said, both a and b swabs walk across the stage. A classmate in my company for swab summer was extremely emotional and doubtful during the 10 minute period. To be honest, I wasn't sure that person would make it through the week. Four years later, that person walked across the stage and, eleven years later, that person has held at least one premier JO position in the USCG.

2a. Even if they say they want to go home, they will not be leaving with you that day regardless of what they want. Once the swearing in occurs, your DS/DD is officially in the USCG and there is a whole mess of paperwork that needs to be done to outprocess. It can take one to two weeks depending on what part of the summer we're in. I'll never forget a swab coming up to me after the swearing-in with his parents and telling me he was going home and wanted to quit. I had to break it to him that he wouldn't be going anywhere. So, parents and swabs, understand the commitment you're about to undertake. It's okay to realize that this is not for you, just don't expect leaving to be wholly on your terms. That being said, give it at least a week before you make that decision. Even better, last all of swab summer and at least one semester of 4/c year before making that decision. USCGA is not swab summer mentality all the time.

4. Encourage your DS/DD to write their own letter to themselves and bring it with them that reminds them why they wanted to attend USCGA, why those to attend, and what their goals are for the future. A letter like the OP suggests from a parent can absolutely help, but your DS/DD ultimately needs self-motivation to push through. For some people, deciding this isn't for them brings an immense feeling of shame and fear of disappointing the people they love. Ensure your adult child that this is not the case, but encourage them to keep moving forward, day by day, meal by meal, or hour by hour. A respected former British special forces soldier has a mantra, "Always a little further." Embrace that mantra.

Finally, don't let them go it alone, but give them the space to grow into their own as an adult and unique individual. While USCGA is a university, it is also their first full step into adulthood and as a future office in the United State Coast Guard. You will not have access to their grades or medical information unless they give permission. Do not contact USCGA on their behalf without their knowledge, let them try to find solutions to address any issues (seriously, don't be that guy). This is your time as a parent to adapt to a position of counselor/confidant rather than planner or decision-maker. Thousands of parents drop their kids off at airports and bus terminals destined for enlisted basic training facilities around the country all year long. There are no "Day One" activities, 10 minute goodbyes, or Mystic Flag ceremonies. Find kinship with other parents, but understand that if the adults your children will lead in the future can take that first step with a modicum of independence, so can your DS/DD.

 

[sbbm9901]

Great advice above! I asked my new 2/c this question the other day as she prepares to be Cadre this summer. She said that she and her friends were talking about this very subject of Swab Summer and they unanimously agreed that it is such a small part of the USCGA experience; however, when they were standing on the other side of First Day 2 years ago, it was this monumental first challenge that they knew very little about and it was intimidating. She talked about losing a swab or two that summer, who could not see past the 7 weeks and wishes they had stuck it out. You will hear variations of this often: The days are long, but the weeks are short. One meal at a time, then one day at a time, lean on their swab-mates and remind them that it is said, "This too shall pass", not "This too shall last".

 

[Bash On]

Finally, don't let them go it alone, but give them the space to grow into their own as an adult and unique individual. ....This is your time as a parent to adapt to a position of counselor/confidant rather than planner or decision-maker. Thousands of parents drop their kids off at airports and bus terminals destined for enlisted basic training facilities around the country all year long. There are no "Day One" activities, 10 minute goodbyes, or Mystic Flag ceremonies.

Amen. Space is what they need. When I went to Cape May (CG boot camp) I was only 17 and still in high school (an RK program reservist). My parents were very low-key: "See you in a few months. Write if you can. Bye." A friend took me to the bus station, and I don't recall even speaking with my parents on the phone until I walked in the door at home months later.