Cliché and general Essay Topics

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Dacarter

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I am currently starting to work on the essay prompt “Why do you want to attend a Service Academy” for congressional nominations. My first impulse is to write about the stories my Grandpa, who was a Colonel in the Marines, described throughout my life along with the items he has passed down to me. Is this topic too general and cliché to write about, or will it be fine as long as it is well written? Any insight would be greatly appreciated!
 
Dacarter said:
I am currently starting to work on the essay prompt “Why do you want to attend a Service Academy” for congressional nominations. My first impulse is to write about the stories my Grandpa, who was a Colonel in the Marines, described throughout my life along with the items he has passed down to me. Is this topic too general and cliché to write about, or will it be fine as long as it is well written? Any insight would be greatly appreciated!
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Tell your unique story, the story only you can tell. Describing what planted the seed for you is that. How did those stories impact you, what was the appeal, what qualities, traits and skills did those stories inspire you to think about?

Cliché is “all my life I have wanted to serve,” which always bring to mind very odd toddlers.

Avoid hubris and hyperbole.

Be sure to ATFQ, in Navy speak, answer the full 😉 question.

Comply with all length and character+space limits, if applicable.

Be impeccable in spelling, grammar, syntax, parallel construction, punctuation.

Read it aloud to a good friend or close-age sibling. If they roll their eyes, your tone is over the top.
 
I personally don' t think it's too broad, as long as you don't be too broad, if you know what I mean. I'm writing about my experience of touring with a WW2 Veteran to the LST 325, A SHIP that served in ww2
 
Dacarter said:
I am currently starting to work on the essay prompt “Why do you want to attend a Service Academy” for congressional nominations. My first impulse is to write about the stories my Grandpa, who was a Colonel in the Marines, described throughout my life along with the items he has passed down to me. Is this topic too general and cliché to write about, or will it be fine as long as it is well written? Any insight would be greatly appreciated!
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I personally think you should write more about yourself than your grandfather.

Of course he could be one of the motivators but don't let the reader get an impression that you're trying to join the service because your family member served.

Present your own story such as the quality of yours that makes you want to serve or will be fit to serve that you can contribute to your country better in service rather than something else, etc.
 
I agree with the advice above.
I will reiterate the advice to be sure to answer the question that is being asked. It is tempting to use the same essay for multiple applications (especially the why do you want to serve essay), but this will not really work because the questions on the various applications are somewhat different. Be sure to read the questions very carefully and make sure you are fully answering them.
 
Capt MJ said:
Read it aloud to a good friend or close-age sibling. If they roll their eyes, your tone is over the top.
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Good advice! I haven't heard this before but I can see the benefit of my ds reading an essay outloud to his 12yo brother. Couldn't ask for a more honest opinion. He'll identify and call out any cheesiness.
 
A USMC colonel?! Write about your grandpa! And show them that not only have his stories influenced you (provide one out of the park story) but that you also have some of those hardcore genes in your DNA and have what it takes to make a great leader like he was (I am married to a Marine, they are tough!) It definitely is more memorable than the standard "I want to serve and protect my country" bit that they read all the time. Good luck to you!
 
I wrote about my uncle (current USMC lieutenant colonel) but I made sure to emphasize that while his career certainly sparked my interest, I wasn't doing it because I was expected to/it was a family thing, etc. The essay that went to my MOC (who later nominated me) was made up of bits and pieces of the ones I'd already written - I just made sure it all flowed and made sense!
 
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