Differences In The Military Services (Article from grunt.com)

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by BrianReed, May 19, 2011.

  1. BrianReed

    BrianReed 5-Year Member

    Feb 27, 2011
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    Just had a read through this funny article on grunt.com, made me laugh :rolleyes:

    Differences In The Military
    Submitted by: George F. Blanton (USMC 1956-1960)

    In an effort to ensure proper training and readiness among the military services, Congress has approved the following changes to basic principles of recruit training:


    • Marines: Heads will be shaved.
    • Army: Stylish flat-top's for all recruits.
    • Navy: No haircut standard.
    • Air Force: Complete makeovers as seen on the Jenny Jones show.

    Training Hours:

    • Marines: Reveille at 0500, train until 2000.
    • Army: Reveille at 0600, train until 1900.
    • Navy: Get out of bed at 0900, train until 1100, lunch until 1300, train until 1600.
    • Air Force: Awaken at 1000, breakfast in bed, train from 1100 to 1200, lunch at 1200, train from 1300 to 1400, nap at 1400, awaken from nap at 1500, training ceases at 1500.


    • Marines: Meals, Ready-to-Eat 3 times a day.
    • Army: One hot meal, 2 MRE's.
    • Navy: 3 hot meals.
    • Air Force: Catered meals prepared by the Galloping Gourmet, Julia Child, and Wolfgang Puck and Emeril Lagasse. All you can eat.

    Leave And Liberty:

    • Marines: None.
    • Army: 4 hours a week.
    • Navy: 2 days a week.
    • Air Force: For every four hours of training, recruits will receive eight hours of leave and liberty.


    • Marines: Will address all officers as "Sir," and refer to the rank of all enlisted members when speaking to them (i.e., Sgt. Smith).
    • Army: Will address all officers as "Sir," unless they are friends, and will call all enlisted personnel "Sarge."
    • Navy: Will address all officers as "Skipper," and all enlisted personnel as "Chief."
    • Air Force: All Air Force personnel shall be on a first name basis with each other.


    • Marines: Medals and badges are awarded for acts of gallantry and bravery only.
    • Army: Medals and badges are awarded for every bullet fired, hand grenade thrown, fitness test passed, and bed made.
    • Navy: Will have ships' engineers make medals for them as desired.
    • Air Force: Will be issued all medals and badges, as they will most likely be awarded them at some point early in their careers anyway.

    Camouflage Uniforms:

    • Marines: Work uniform, to be worn only during training and in field situations.
    • Army: Will wear it anytime, anywhere.
    • Navy: Will not wear camouflage uniforms, they do not camouflage you on a ship. (Ship Captains will make every effort to attempt to explain this to sailors.)
    • Air Force: Will defeat the purpose of camouflage uniforms by putting blue and silver chevrons and colorful squadron patches all over them.

    Career Fields:

    • Marines: All Marines shall be considered riflemen first and foremost.
    • Army: It doesn't matter, all career fields promote to E-8 in first enlistment anyway.
    • Navy: Nobody knows. The Navy is still trying figure out what sailors in the ABH, SMC, BNC and BSN rates do anyway.
    • Air Force: Every recruit will be trained in a manner that will allow them to leave the service early to go on to higher paying civilian jobs.

  2. LineInTheSand

    LineInTheSand USCGA 2006 5-Year Member

    Nov 25, 2007
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    Apparently he can't count to 5....must have been a Marine.
  3. bruno

    bruno 5-Year Member Retired Staff Member

    Feb 2, 2008
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    Hmm- clearly a former Marine.
    He's a little out of date though- Camouflage seems to be the order of business everywhere these days regardless of service and whether it's appropriate or not. At least in the early days of OEF/OIF when you saw guys walking thru the airport in camo it was because they were coming home on a midtour- which you could understand. Now they are staff officers travelling from Tradoc to the Pentagon or Pensacola to Newport etc... No reason for it. On top of that -in the case of the Army- the ACU looks like it was slept in and with the digitial pattern and colors it camouflages him only in the corridors of the Pentagon. (And explain to me why a sailor needs camouflage to begin with and why -if he does-is it blue and grey?:confused:) In fact he could have an additional line on the Camouflage uniforms as the USMC are the only ones whose camouflage pattern if functional
  4. LineInTheSand

    LineInTheSand USCGA 2006 5-Year Member

    Nov 25, 2007
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    Excluding those fancy schmancy special ops cammo uniforms....right?

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