Do cadets date each other? What is the social aspect of the academy like in general?

Pamom3

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Jan 25, 2017
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Just curious here......would love to get some really honest replies from current or past cadets.
 

Vitalzt

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I don't know about USMA, but at NASS we were told that you can date fellow mids. But you can not be in the same company.
 

JWP

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Btw...Not many cadet relationships last. Too many pulls on time...at least...that is what I have heard.
 

DrMom

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Sydney; the 2% club are cadets who arrive with a high school sweetheart, date the high school sweetheart throughout the West Point experience--and get married after graduation. Cadets dating each other is totally normally. Happens all the time.
 

efs

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Plebes can date other plebes but cannot date upperclassmen. Other than that, cadets can and very very often do date (from what I've seen)
 

UHBlackhawk

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I know many who married a classmate. I even know an Air Force Academy exchange student who met his wife at USMA and took an Army commission so they could be together.
 

DrMom

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1842, now you are giving yourself away Old School-style. These days...at least at USMA, no one cares about that. My #1's track captain his plebe year was out and proud...and I will admit to being a bit blown away when the VP mentioned that the head of the Brigade was gay--seated in the front row for graduation. (I thought it was unnecessary--what if his grandparents didn't know...) but the cadets all knew--and they simply didn't care. It is generational.
 

1842

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When I first arrived at school, the first week, the cadre lined us up.

They said, 'raise your hand if you have a girlfriend'. Most guys raised their hands. The cadre next said, 'now lower your hands'. "Look around, do you see any hands raised? This is how many will have the same girlfriend when they graduate'.

In my company, I know of not one cadet who graduated with me that had the same girlfriend until graduation. Life was too full of work, limited free time, poor access to phones (we had to go off campus to make phone calls). Plus, I think they made it difficulty to concentrate on the work and not on relationships. You could not be engaged/married or get your girl friend pregnant while a cadet, that was grounds for expulsion.
 

USMA 1994

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This is morphed into two different discussions.

They call it the 2% club for a reason. While they are a few exceptions, it is extremely difficult for a cadet to maintain a relationship with someone not at the academy. It would only be a one way relationship as the cadet will not have the time or energy to be a supportive partner in that relationship. It is also impossible for the other person to comprehend what the cadet is going through. The cadet needs someone to just listen and be there and most young people are not that mature.

The same reasons that make it almost impossible to maintain a relationship with an non-cadet seem to push cadets together. They will forge bonds through many difficult experiences and some of these will turn into romantic bonds. They will be in close quarters for four years and sharing the common experience is an unbreakable bond.
 

jagger19

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I broke up with my girlfriend (civilian) within two months of getting out of Beast, the time commitment was too much, and after I got out of Beast my values had changed and I couldn't put up with the constant neediness and inability to take care of herself without me coaching her. You can expect the same to happen to you.

As for Cadating, nobody really cares if you do it, this isn't high school. Just know that you cannot date upperclassmen as a Plebe. Dating in-company is allowed, however, that runs a serious risk, seeing as how if it doesn't work out you'll be stuff living with 50 meters of each other for the rest of your time here. If you're into each other and mature, though, that isn't going to be an issue.
 

spongebub 2020

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Jan 28, 2017
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Cadet here, I'm dating another cadet. As long as plebes don't date upperclassmen, there should be no problem. Just make sure to set things square with your partner in terms of grades and goals at the academy and help each other to succeed. Build upon your partners weaknesses and have your partner build upon yours.
 
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