My son applied to VMI, regular decision. We are also out of state. They did offer him a financial aid package that brought the first year more in line with in state tuition, with that and student loans we were able to make it work. He did earn a 3 year national ROTC scholarship, so the last 3 years we have had to pay just room and board, this is still not cheap at about $15,000.
If you don't get a national scholarship, you still have a chance to earn a campus based if you work your butt off. However, there are no guarantees so you need to be able to afford it without the scholarship.
Look at the website for other scholarships as well, some Alumni groups offer them too.
Keep in mind that all scholarships have requirements to keep them. VMI isn't an easy school and there will be a lot on your plate on top of keeping a certain gpa to keep any scholarships you may receive. Don't get me wrong VMI is an amazing school and I can't imagine my son going anywhere else, he loves it. But, it's expensive.
Changing to regular decision may not be a bad option if you can do that. They have rolling admissions so you should hear back by late December or January. Then you can have some back up plans if you cannot make the money work.
Best of luck to you.