vmi1991fromva
Member
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2020
- Messages
- 32
I was asked to contact a struggling rat that wanted to transfer over Christmas break. This is my edited email. I thought it may help others...
The challenge of VMI is no longer there. There is no more glory or intrigue except for Break Out. Nobody really cares about your individual successes or failures. You know that you can make it - but do you want to make it, and is it really worth it? You used to live rat life for the day or the short reprieve. Now, you wish everything over by the week or weeks. Every day you wake up it’s dark and cold. Every afternoon is dark and cold. You could care less about athletics and your academic focus is starting to wane. Without knowing it, VMI has broken you. You can blame VMI all you want. But you’ve let yourself and others break you. I know all this because I’ve been there.
With the ratline, you are on mile 22 of the 26.2-mile marathon. This is where the “excitement” and challenge really are. Except there is no excitement, joy, or motivation. At 22 miles, the marathon is so mentally defeating (tedious), and your legs hurt so much that quitting is the most logical thing to do. While this is what you signed up for, you have a hard time justifying completing the race. At VMI, you listened way too long to the doubter in your head and the other mindless cadets that have told you leaving is the best thing to do and VMI is stupid. That makes it almost impossible to finish the race.
The thing that you really need to consider is how your decision to leave VMI will impact you in 10 years and beyond, which is practically impossible for someone 18 years old to appreciate. I have never talked to anyone that left VMI that didn’t regret it. Likewise, while we all complained, I don’t know any guys that made it that would trade the experience.
Your college selection was your first major life decision. Are you willing to say that you made a mistake? You seemed pretty confident about VMI in the Fall. Are you willing to allow all the dorks and geeks to run you off? When you are working and/or raising kids of your own, how is it going to sit with you that you quit? Again, I’m not judging you. There are hundreds of reasons to quit and only a few reasons to keep going (like the marathon). But you have to understand that stepping off at VMI, just like stepping off at a marathon will haunt you. You need to be prepared to continually answer that question – “what if?” for the rest of your life.
The other thing you need to understand is that your Brother Rats are not going to be at these other schools. You guys stand out amongst your peers and people notice it. Will you make new friends elsewhere? Absolutely, but the caliber and the degree of loyalty will not be the same. How could it be with all the stuff you all have gone through and hopefully will go through together? Why not stay at VMI for the loyalty of friendship? Why not stay to help your friends? If you don’t like the system, bond together to rebel against it and try to fix it. Laugh at VMI and the haters, realizing that the joke is on them, not on you all.
The key to VMI is never letting someone steal your joy and realizing VMI isn’t real. It’s a glorified “Lord of the Flies” experiment. The value of that to me has been priceless. I’m not one of those alumni that dwells on the networking, connections, bonds, etc. But as far as really teaching me about my weaknesses and my strengths as well as that in others, VMI has been invaluable. It has taught me how to handle things when all the wheels come off the bus. Combined with truly trying to live an “Honor Above Self” lifestyle, these life lessons have made all the difference in me as a man, husband, and father. I know that you should succeed and achieve much more than I did. But to get where you need to get to, you need a full dose of adversity. VMI does that artificially like no other college. You can either go through it now in this bizarre beat-down college experience or go through it in the real world. It’s your choice.
The challenge of VMI is no longer there. There is no more glory or intrigue except for Break Out. Nobody really cares about your individual successes or failures. You know that you can make it - but do you want to make it, and is it really worth it? You used to live rat life for the day or the short reprieve. Now, you wish everything over by the week or weeks. Every day you wake up it’s dark and cold. Every afternoon is dark and cold. You could care less about athletics and your academic focus is starting to wane. Without knowing it, VMI has broken you. You can blame VMI all you want. But you’ve let yourself and others break you. I know all this because I’ve been there.
With the ratline, you are on mile 22 of the 26.2-mile marathon. This is where the “excitement” and challenge really are. Except there is no excitement, joy, or motivation. At 22 miles, the marathon is so mentally defeating (tedious), and your legs hurt so much that quitting is the most logical thing to do. While this is what you signed up for, you have a hard time justifying completing the race. At VMI, you listened way too long to the doubter in your head and the other mindless cadets that have told you leaving is the best thing to do and VMI is stupid. That makes it almost impossible to finish the race.
The thing that you really need to consider is how your decision to leave VMI will impact you in 10 years and beyond, which is practically impossible for someone 18 years old to appreciate. I have never talked to anyone that left VMI that didn’t regret it. Likewise, while we all complained, I don’t know any guys that made it that would trade the experience.
Your college selection was your first major life decision. Are you willing to say that you made a mistake? You seemed pretty confident about VMI in the Fall. Are you willing to allow all the dorks and geeks to run you off? When you are working and/or raising kids of your own, how is it going to sit with you that you quit? Again, I’m not judging you. There are hundreds of reasons to quit and only a few reasons to keep going (like the marathon). But you have to understand that stepping off at VMI, just like stepping off at a marathon will haunt you. You need to be prepared to continually answer that question – “what if?” for the rest of your life.
The other thing you need to understand is that your Brother Rats are not going to be at these other schools. You guys stand out amongst your peers and people notice it. Will you make new friends elsewhere? Absolutely, but the caliber and the degree of loyalty will not be the same. How could it be with all the stuff you all have gone through and hopefully will go through together? Why not stay at VMI for the loyalty of friendship? Why not stay to help your friends? If you don’t like the system, bond together to rebel against it and try to fix it. Laugh at VMI and the haters, realizing that the joke is on them, not on you all.
The key to VMI is never letting someone steal your joy and realizing VMI isn’t real. It’s a glorified “Lord of the Flies” experiment. The value of that to me has been priceless. I’m not one of those alumni that dwells on the networking, connections, bonds, etc. But as far as really teaching me about my weaknesses and my strengths as well as that in others, VMI has been invaluable. It has taught me how to handle things when all the wheels come off the bus. Combined with truly trying to live an “Honor Above Self” lifestyle, these life lessons have made all the difference in me as a man, husband, and father. I know that you should succeed and achieve much more than I did. But to get where you need to get to, you need a full dose of adversity. VMI does that artificially like no other college. You can either go through it now in this bizarre beat-down college experience or go through it in the real world. It’s your choice.
