Help me understand, please (first time SA Mom)

[11pucks]

DD got an email from Dodmerb CIV to log into dotmets acct, complete her questionnaire. That's done, exam is tomorrow and eye is next week. Does that then feed to Dodmerb? And does she need to create a new acct on Dodmerb? Is that where her next hoops are to jump if she must (Q/Dq/Remedial etc). Then from there her SA will decide what to do with that info if a waiver is needed?

I apologize if this has been covered a thousand times, I just want to be as supportive to her as possible (we all know seniors applying to SA's are running and working at capacity).

Thank you so much!

 

[Capt MJ]

To be supportive and to coach her on doing independent legwork and owning the process, suggest she go to the DoDMERB and DoDMETS home pages and read all the information there, and brief you on it. The SAs are looking for candidates who are self-directed, with good skills in executive coordination, attention to detail, perseverance, analysis, research, critical thinking. The application process tests all of that! Grit, too. No doubt she has a lot on her plate. The intricacies of SA application, nom applications, DoDMERB, etc., foreshadow the pressure-cooker of the SAs.

See my post:
Post in thread 'DODMerb Time'
https://www.serviceacademyforums.com/index.php?threads/dodmerb-time.92152/post-979330

 

[GnomeOoGnomeo]

To be supportive and to coach her on doing independent legwork and owning the process, suggest she go to the DoDMERB and DoDMETS home pages and read all the information there, and brief you on it. The SAs are looking for candidates who are self-directed, with good skills in executive coordination, attention to detail, perseverance, analysis, research, critical thinking. The application process tests all of that! Grit, too. No doubt she has a lot on her plate. The intricacies of SA application, nom applications, DoDMERB, etc., foreshadow the pressure-cooker of the SAs.

See my post:
Post in thread 'DODMerb Time'
https://www.serviceacademyforums.com/index.php?threads/dodmerb-time.92152/post-979330

Thank you will do, and great suggestion of having her school me. I was attempting to be helpful to her.

 

[justdoit19]

Thank you will do, and great suggestion of having her school me. I was attempting to be helpful to her.

it’s really not hard. Everything is laid out. She should follow instructions, check emails, and meet deadlines as laid out in her instructions. If she follows her steps laid out on the SA application, and meets her deadlines, she will be fine. Her attention to detail and organizational skills are what will be most helpful for her, at this point.

Good luck to her!

 

[GnomeOoGnomeo]

it’s really not hard. Everything is laid out. She should follow instructions, check emails, and meet deadlines as laid out in her instructions. If she follows her steps laid out on the SA application, and meets her deadlines, she will be fine. Her attention to detail and organizational skills are what will be most helpful for her, at this point.

Good luck to her!

She’s on it, and had a great handle in her process. I was trying to understand it as a parent. I’ll ask her to educate me on her process. Thank you

 

[GnomeOoGnomeo]

Sorry if I gave the impression she’s not handling it all and on top of her process. She’s very much so, and is very proactive with it. I was more looking for a parent hand hold to see if I had it correct, and if there was any advice about being supportive of her while she’s navigating it. I apologize and will have her educate me.

 

[justdoit19]

You can certainly go to all the public sights as well and see the flow. Including DODMERB. I’m sure she is doing fine. I was specifically responding to you saying that you were “attempting to be helpful to her”, in that everything is well laid out, so she most likely doesn’t need ‘help’.

The big place that parents should be present/helpful, imo, is when they are filling out their medical review. So the can ask you, the parent, how to address medical issues asked in the questionnaire.

Trying to understand as a parent is understandable! This is a good place. But you mentioned you wanted to

Thank you will do, and great suggestion of having her school me. I was attempting to be helpful to her

Help her. Not figure stuff out for your own understanding. That’s what I was responding to.

It’s confusing. You will be an expert by the end.

 

[11pucks]

You can certainly go to all the public sights as well and see the flow. Including DODMERB. I’m sure she is doing fine. I was specifically responding to you saying that you were “attempting to be helpful to her”, in that everything is well laid out, so she most likely doesn’t need ‘help’.

The big place that parents should be present/helpful, imo, is when they are filling out their medical review. So the can ask you, the parent, how to address medical issues asked in the questionnaire.

Trying to understand as a parent is understandable! This is a good place. But you mentioned you wanted to

Help her. Not figure stuff out for your own understanding. That’s what I was responding to.

It’s confusing. You will be an expert by the end.

Thank you! I appreciate being reminded she's got this, abd you're correct she doesn't need help. I wish I worded the original post a bit better. Can't wait to feel like an expert, lol. We were on hand for the questionnaire, thank goodness I saw that on here a few weeks prior as a suggestion.

 

[tkinion]

Sorry if I gave the impression she’s not handling it all and on top of her process. She’s very much so, and is very proactive with it. I was more looking for a parent hand hold to see if I had it correct, and if there was any advice about being supportive of her while she’s navigating it. I apologize and will have her educate me.

Why apologize?? I was raked over the coals for suggesting I provide top cover for my DD. These kids have come a loooooong way, investing years just to get to this point and the suggestion that they'll make lousy cadets because a parent is helping them navigate the application/medical process is simply ludicrous. Nearly every commander in the military has a secretary that handles administrative tasks for them, keeps them organized and on schedule. Does that make them bad officers? Absolutely not! Keep looking out for your DD and help her as needed.

 

[justdoit19]

Welcome to the forums @11pucks. Sometimes it’s hard to get across intention, via text.

Good luck to your DD!!

 

[ProudMom7]

You said she has her appointments coming up soon. She should just stay on top of making sure those get submitted. It is not uncommon for a form to get kicked back for something. Maybe the doctor didn't sign the right place or they forgot to include something. Those issues can linger if the candidate doesn't stay on top of it. She shouldn't be afraid to call the DODMERB CIV number to find out the specific problem. She shouldn't be afraid to call the original doctor to make sure they are correcting the issue either. Hopefully there won't be any issues in that area, but it is not uncommon.

 

[HCopter]

Why apologize?? I was raked over the coals for suggesting I provide top cover for my DD. These kids have come a loooooong way, investing years just to get to this point and the suggestion that they'll make lousy cadets because a parent is helping them navigate the application/medical process is simply ludicrous. Nearly every commander in the military has a secretary that handles administrative tasks for them, keeps them organized and on schedule. Does that make them bad officers? Absolutely not! Keep looking out for your DD and help her as needed.

This. It makes them good officers because they know how to assemble their team, leveraging each team member's skills.

Only you can tell if you are enabling vs helping your DD/DS learn how to optimize situations and leverage her team. If your skill as a parent is organization why would your child not learn it from you?

I was just telling my DD that my parent's heart's desire is that she one day reach a level that she has an entourage - even if it's just an intern following her with a clipboard scheduling her on 15 minute intervals. A photographer would be nice along with someone to carry her bags. I don't want to know all the details, except one day see a pix of her and her entourage. She thought that was hilarious!

 

[EJF]

You said she has her appointments coming up soon. She should just stay on top of making sure those get submitted. It is not uncommon for a form to get kicked back for something. Maybe the doctor didn't sign the right place or they forgot to include something. Those issues can linger if the candidate doesn't stay on top of it. She shouldn't be afraid to call the DODMERB CIV number to find out the specific problem. She shouldn't be afraid to call the original doctor to make sure they are correcting the issue either. Hopefully there won't be any issues in that area, but it is not uncommon.

And, if they will give her a copy of her exams the day of, suggest that she request those for her files. Son had things not get to DoDMETS for some reason. He had to track down the provider and request a copy, unfortunately this took several days. He then elected to submit their copy himself, rather than wait for the provider to do so.

 

[Capt MJ]

This. It makes them good officers because they know how to assemble their team, leveraging each team member's skills.

Only you can tell if you are enabling vs helping your DD/DS learn how to optimize situations and leverage her team. If your skill as a parent is organization why would your child not learn it from you?

I was just telling my DD that my parent's heart's desire is that she one day reach a level that she has an entourage - even if it's just an intern following her with a clipboard scheduling her on 15 minute intervals. A photographer would be nice along with someone to carry her bags. I don't want to know all the details, except one day see a pix of her and her entourage. She thought that was hilarious!

Good points. This is a great time to flex project management fundamental skills, with parental wisdom available for consultation. I had to wait 20 years to get my own admin assistant as a senior officer. The skills involved in managing an application lifecycle are great prep work for managing cadet and midshipman academic/event/watch/other schedules and then JO responsibilities - I did all my own admin, research and planning as a JO. Just like appointed candidates will practice running and physical fitness in the months leading up to reporting in, as skills they will need on arrival. Sharpen the saw.

 

[11pucks]

And, if they will give her a copy of her exams the day of, suggest that she request those for her files. Son had things not get to DoDMETS for some reason. He had to track down the provider and request a copy, unfortunately this took several days. He then elected to submit their copy himself, rather than wait for the provider to do so.

Thank you, this is exactly the type of advice I was looking for!

 

[USAFAparent27']

Why apologize?? I was raked over the coals for suggesting I provide top cover for my DD. These kids have come a loooooong way, investing years just to get to this point and the suggestion that they'll make lousy cadets because a parent is helping them navigate the application/medical process is simply ludicrous. Nearly every commander in the military has a secretary that handles administrative tasks for them, keeps them organized and on schedule. Does that make them bad officers? Absolutely not! Keep looking out for your DD and help her as needed.

Amen, The application process has it's intention, but the medical process is outdated and archaic. I provided guidance for my DS as they went through the process. Nothing wrong with providing help when asked or needed.