statechamps2017
Member
- Joined
- Jul 21, 2017
- Messages
- 28
Hello,
I was hoping that someone could give me some feedback on my personal statement. I think I answered the questions and my dad helped me with the wording but i want to hear what other people think. 500 words is not a lot to get into too much detail. Thank you for your help. Here is the draft:
For many people the decision to pursue military service comes from being a “military family” or, perhaps a particular event caused them to want to serve. This is somewhat true for me as well, although the military history in my family comes more from extended relatives (cousins, uncles, great-uncles) and close family friends. There was no single event that influenced my decision. My decision to pursue a military career was built over time and my goal of attending the Naval Academy developed since entering high school.
I wanted to be sure that a military career is the right fit for me so I spent a lot of time understanding the challenges and responsibilities of military life. One of the adult leaders in my Boy Scout Troop served in the Navy for 13 years as a Flight Surgeon. Also, our Troop’s Scoutmaster is a graduate of the Air Force Academy class of 1987. He served for more than 20 years and recently retired as a Lieutenant Colonel. These men have been influential to me and have given me guidance and confidence that I am making the right decision.
My goal is to serve as a military officer and to pursue engineering/STEM as my field of study. I both excel in and enjoy those subjects in school and I have participated in several STEM/NOVA activities in Boy Scouts. I have always had a passion for the water and the ocean, which is a big reason for my focus on naval service. I feel that the Navy is where my skills and passions will be best served and where I will provide the most value. In learning more about the USNA, the course majors and the challenging military structure I feel very strongly that USNA would be the best fit for me to fulfill those goals.
There are several things that have helped to build my character and integrity. A secure and loving family, a strong faith in God, competitive athletics, National Honor Society, and my part-time job to name a few. Besides my family and faith my strongest foundation for character, service, and leadership has been my commitment to Boy Scouts. I am an Eagle Scout. This is the result of hard work, dedication to service, and a long-term demonstration of leadership and good moral character that will lead me through the rest of my life. I live my life by the Scout Oath and Law, giving me a great appreciation for honor, duty, and service.
I am very excited at the prospect of attending USNA and serving my country. There is no way to predict what my future holds as a Naval officer or how successful I might become. I am, however, a firm believer in the concept of “you get what you work for” and I am confident that I am prepared to take on this challenge head-on and that the USNA will give me the best opportunity to earn both my career and life goals.
I was hoping that someone could give me some feedback on my personal statement. I think I answered the questions and my dad helped me with the wording but i want to hear what other people think. 500 words is not a lot to get into too much detail. Thank you for your help. Here is the draft:
For many people the decision to pursue military service comes from being a “military family” or, perhaps a particular event caused them to want to serve. This is somewhat true for me as well, although the military history in my family comes more from extended relatives (cousins, uncles, great-uncles) and close family friends. There was no single event that influenced my decision. My decision to pursue a military career was built over time and my goal of attending the Naval Academy developed since entering high school.
I wanted to be sure that a military career is the right fit for me so I spent a lot of time understanding the challenges and responsibilities of military life. One of the adult leaders in my Boy Scout Troop served in the Navy for 13 years as a Flight Surgeon. Also, our Troop’s Scoutmaster is a graduate of the Air Force Academy class of 1987. He served for more than 20 years and recently retired as a Lieutenant Colonel. These men have been influential to me and have given me guidance and confidence that I am making the right decision.
My goal is to serve as a military officer and to pursue engineering/STEM as my field of study. I both excel in and enjoy those subjects in school and I have participated in several STEM/NOVA activities in Boy Scouts. I have always had a passion for the water and the ocean, which is a big reason for my focus on naval service. I feel that the Navy is where my skills and passions will be best served and where I will provide the most value. In learning more about the USNA, the course majors and the challenging military structure I feel very strongly that USNA would be the best fit for me to fulfill those goals.
There are several things that have helped to build my character and integrity. A secure and loving family, a strong faith in God, competitive athletics, National Honor Society, and my part-time job to name a few. Besides my family and faith my strongest foundation for character, service, and leadership has been my commitment to Boy Scouts. I am an Eagle Scout. This is the result of hard work, dedication to service, and a long-term demonstration of leadership and good moral character that will lead me through the rest of my life. I live my life by the Scout Oath and Law, giving me a great appreciation for honor, duty, and service.
I am very excited at the prospect of attending USNA and serving my country. There is no way to predict what my future holds as a Naval officer or how successful I might become. I am, however, a firm believer in the concept of “you get what you work for” and I am confident that I am prepared to take on this challenge head-on and that the USNA will give me the best opportunity to earn both my career and life goals.