making big decisions

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tamarack

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These forums often have threads from young people offered appointments asking for advice on whether to accept the appointment or pursue a civilian college/career. I think a lot of times the real question being asked isn't "USAFA v. Duke" or "USNA v. Stanford" but is "how do I make a such a big decision?"

My advice has boiled down to suggesting that the person spend a day contemplating one choice, spend a day contemplating the other choice, and then choose the one that is most challenging.

I've been wishing that I added that the poster should ask trusted adults how they make major, life-changing decisions. With that in mind -- how do you go about making a big decision?
 
Personally, I am an information junkie. I love to do research, gather all relevant information and also search out real-life feedback from those who have "been there/done that," whether that be an online article, YouTube video or actual IRL conversation. I hate making big decisions without feeling as though I have a very thorough understanding of my options, potential consequences, etc.

Beyond that, prayer. I realize faith is a very personal matter, but I do not want to see myself, my spouse or my kids walking a path outside of God's leading.

BTW, this is a great topic. I am sure you will get a lot of thoughtful responses.
 
I seek input from people who have ‘been there, done that’ (many of you are the victims of that 😂). I also bounce it off of people I trust, who know me well. My strengths and weaknesses. Then I think about each option for a long time. Pros and cons. How my choice affects those I care about. I pray, too.

And then, eventually, decide. I need time to get comfortable with a choice.
 
DTT!FSA! said:
I write up a detailed pro/con comparison list, do tons of independent research, review Reddit chat boards and then

I go with my gut.
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I always use a pro/con list for any big decisions! I suggest applying points to each pro and con but you don't have to!
 
For me personally, I think about it on my own a lot, I like to envision myself in the future and then see what feels more right to me. Going with my gut helps too.

I haven’t tried this strategy but one of my friends suggested something for deciding between two choices:
Assign heads or tails to each option then flip a coin to make the decision. If you have a negative reaction to the result of the coin flip, well then now you know the other option is the right one for you actually
 
I’m an old fashioned pro and con list.
Also think macro not micro. Not college or academy experience but career experience.
 
Ivy22 said:
I haven’t tried this strategy but one of my friends suggested something for deciding between two choices:
Assign heads or tails to each option then flip a coin to make the decision. If you have a negative reaction to the result of the coin flip, well then now you know the other option is the right one for you actually
Click to expand...
I love a good pro/con list and finding out as much information I can before making a decision.

I do love this coin flip idea and though I have not actually done the flip. I can think back to times where I was going to go with one decision, but the gut just didn't let me pull the trigger and went a different direction. I feel this is kind of the same thing.
 
The coin flip approach has been around for decades. It works on the premise that while your conscious mind cannot see a difference between 2 paths and feels stuck, your unconscious knows which you will more readily let go.

When I was on USNA staff, I used to suggest this version to stuck mids about service assignment:

Agree with yourself you will absolutely abide by the flip of a coin for your decision.
Flip the coin.
If your reaction is, “I’m done, okay, that’s my path,” and feel relieved, you are more willing to let the other choice go than the one just decided for you by the coin flip.
If you see the result, and immediately think, “I’ll do best two out of three,” “That was just a practice flip,” or “I’ll do it tomorrow for real,” then admit to yourself you are not willing to let the other choice go and want that path more.

Of course there are other methods, but there are dangers. Take the Magic 8 Ball. If you are stuck between Navy air and Marine air, you might get:

1729783790770.png
Not helpful if you are at USNA.
 
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STEP #1: Understand the choice.
a) Std Service Commitment
i) Contractual
ii) Ethical
b) Elective Service Commitments
Subject to academic performance, and physical requirements established with a given service goal.
c) Schedule for Vesting of Commitments

Just a few of the elements that interact to inform commitment term and performance risk associated with the desired outcome/s from “The Big Decision”. I’m not even going to touch on the understanding the differences between a Real College and an SA in making that decision.

I wonder how many HS kids exclude SAs early in their applications process because 9years is a looooong time; never knowing what a 2-4-7 letter agreement is. I wonder how many prospective aviators show up on I-Day with no idea of the academic competition level they will face for aviation selection, or sub drafts. Or that Intel is for NPQs.

I digress, but I don’t actually make “Big Decisions"………………………….I take instruction from DW.
 
Just Dad said:
STEP #1: Understand the choice.
a) Std Service Commitment
i) Contractual
ii) Ethical
b) Elective Service Commitments
Subject to academic performance, and physical requirements established with a given service goal.
c) Schedule for Vesting of Commitments

Just a few of the elements that interact to inform commitment term and performance risk associated with the desired outcome/s from “The Big Decision”. I’m not even going to touch on the understanding the differences between a Real College and an SA in making that decision.

I wonder how many HS kids exclude SAs early in their applications process because 9years is a looooong time; never knowing what a 2-4-7 letter agreement is. I wonder how many prospective aviators show up on I-Day with no idea of the academic competition level they will face for aviation selection, or sub drafts. Or that Intel is for NPQs.

I digress, but I don’t actually make “Big Decisions"………………………….I take instruction from DW.
Click to expand...
I agree 100% with everything, except occasionally there are exceptions to Intel being only for NPQs. I know of one personally who was perfectly qualified medically for all service options, and was selected for Intel.
 
I agree 100% with everything, except occasionally there are exceptions to Intel being only for NPQs. I know of one personally who was perfectly qualified medically for all service options, and was selected for Intel.
Click to expand...

Awesome!…….still following that Mid closely?

DD was up at USNA about 12(?) months ago to talk with 1C Intel Mids. She told me that according to the Mids, CL23 (?) had 6 PQ intel slots/selections! If that’s the case, it suggests an interesting trend. In 2016 DD told me that she’d heard that there might be 1 or 2 PQ Intel spots available to her class.

6PQ slots suggests that Intel has been given broader access to "Best In Show".
 
Just Dad said:
Awesome!…….still following that Mid closely?

DD was up at USNA about 12(?) months ago to talk with 1C Intel Mids. She told me that according to the Mids, CL23 (?) had 6 PQ intel slots/selections! If that’s the case, it suggests an interesting trend. In 2016 DD told me that she’d heard that there might be 1 or 2 PQ Intel spots available to her class.

6PQ slots suggests that Intel has been given broader access to "Best In Show".
Click to expand...
Yup. Following closely. I’ll message you.
 
Follow the process all the way through. Keep an open mind. The choice should be clear or limited at the end. If it’s not, consider yourself very fortunate and you really can’t go wrong either way. Respect your parent’s direction but don’t make the choice solely to please them.
 
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