Nomination essay

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westpointdreamer2004

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Hi everyone! I have started to brainstorm what to write in each of my nomination essays for each nomination source.

I know that civilian colleges and universities appreciate it when applicants employ some type of imagery or anecdote into their CommonApp/supplemental essays. I was wondering, does that apply to service academy nomination essays as well?

(Especially for the prompts that ask why we would like to attend a service academy)

I have some ideas to write about but at the same time, I don't want to make it "informal" since it is for a service academy nomination.
 
westpointdreamer2004 said:
Hi everyone! I have started to brainstorm what to write in each of my nomination essays for each nomination source.

I know that civilian colleges and universities appreciate it when applicants employ some type of imagery or anecdote into their CommonApp/supplemental essays. I was wondering, does that apply to service academy nomination essays as well?

(Especially for the prompts that ask why we would like to attend a service academy)

I have some ideas to write about but at the same time, I don't want to make it "informal" since it is for a service academy nomination.
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Have you seen the essay prompts? They ask a specific question. From your notes about why you would like to attend a service academy, my DS was asked that by two senators. The representative asked DS to describe his weekly schedule.
 
westpointdreamer2004 said:
Hi everyone! I have started to brainstorm what to write in each of my nomination essays for each nomination source.

I know that civilian colleges and universities appreciate it when applicants employ some type of imagery or anecdote into their CommonApp/supplemental essays. I was wondering, does that apply to service academy nomination essays as well?

(Especially for the prompts that ask why we would like to attend a service academy)

I have some ideas to write about but at the same time, I don't want to make it "informal" since it is for a service academy nomination.
Click to expand...
Many applicants will have strong grades, high SATs, sports, etc. etc. Make your essays a little different...one SA Admissions officer told my DS "Tell a story about you..." What makes you unique? What are you up to the challenge? Why do you want the challenge. Yes, make sure you answer the Prompt ...but be a little creative and set yourself apart. Good luck.
 
westpointdreamer2004 said:
Hi everyone! I have started to brainstorm what to write in each of my nomination essays for each nomination source.

I know that civilian colleges and universities appreciate it when applicants employ some type of imagery or anecdote into their CommonApp/supplemental essays. I was wondering, does that apply to service academy nomination essays as well?

(Especially for the prompts that ask why we would like to attend a service academy)

I have some ideas to write about but at the same time, I don't want to make it "informal" since it is for a service academy nomination.
Click to expand...

Running your essay through an English teachers eye can help, too. You want to paint the picture of who YOU are, beyond your resume and application. This is your chance! It is a challenging task, as you are limited by character count. So don’t spend time re-telling what you have already told.

Respectful. Professional. Tell your story of who you are. Blows my mind we are in the phase of the cycle for applying again! Good luck!!
 
I recounted an experience that I went through and talked about what I learned about myself and how I became a better person. Then I used that to talk about why I wanted to serve. Definitely have an English teacher go over it! For me, my word limit was 500 words and my teacher managed to cut 750 words to 500.
 
Banzaipipeline said:
Have you seen the essay prompts? They ask a specific question. From your notes about why you would like to attend a service academy, my DS was asked that by two senators. The representative asked DS to describe his weekly schedule.
Click to expand...
Yes! The nominations that I am able to apply for all ask the same, one question: Why do you want to attend a service academy. I am surprised that there aren't more essay or short response prompts!
 
Don't Give Up the Ship said:
Many applicants will have strong grades, high SATs, sports, etc. etc. Make your essays a little different...one SA Admissions officer told my DS "Tell a story about you..." What makes you unique? What are you up to the challenge? Why do you want the challenge. Yes, make sure you answer the Prompt ...but be a little creative and set yourself apart. Good luck.
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Thank you! Yes, I was hoping that I would be able to show my creative side somewhere in the application!
 
justdoit19 said:
Running your essay through an English teachers eye can help, too. You want to paint the picture of who YOU are, beyond your resume and application. This is your chance! It is a challenging task, as you are limited by character count. So don’t spend time re-telling what you have already told.

Respectful. Professional. Tell your story of who you are. Blows my mind we are in the phase of the cycle for applying again! Good luck!!
Click to expand...
Thank you! I know, application season is coming up fast and I just wanted to be wise with my time!
 
I got two nominations and an appointment. Some of my essays started off with anecdotes, narrative style, then led into a more formal explanation. I'd also be happy to proofread, if you'd like. Good luck!
 
Depending on how many SAs you apply to you are going to have to submit a ton of essays. Do not just cut and paste and recycle them because it is not one size fits all, make sure you answer the questions whole heartedly. I just reread my son's USMA statements (he got a TWE) and although they were decent and interesting, they jumped around too much and the "wanting to serve and protect my country" was probably a little to generic.
 
My son was born 2 months before 911 and several years later one of his elementary teachers went to Iraq and came back a hero, which had a lasting effect on him.

That was the start of the essay as I recall. His achievements and interests filled in the blanks.
 
KiwiBird said:
I got two nominations and an appointment. Some of my essays started off with anecdotes, narrative style, then led into a more formal explanation. I'd also be happy to proofread, if you'd like. Good luck!
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That would be great, thank you so much!! I don't have any essay done yet, but when I do, I will send it over!
 
My nom essays were limited to 200 words... and each of them had either two or three essays. By far the most painful part of the application, because I had to gut the essays to the bone to fit 200 words.
 
Peter2025 said:
My nom essays were limited to 200 words... and each of them had either two or three essays. By far the most painful part of the application, because I had to gut the essays to the bone to fit 200 words.
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Concise writing is usually more difficult than the alternative. If you can remove a word from a sentence, without changing the meaning of the sentence...the remove it.
 
Don't Give Up the Ship said:
Concise writing is usually more difficult than the alternative. If you can remove a word from a sentence, without changing the meaning of the sentence...the remove it.
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I agree, but it was to the point where I had to remove not just words, but sentences and thoughts that were helpful to my argument. Doable, but it was rough.
 
Peter2025 said:
I agree, but it was to the point where I had to remove not just words, but sentences and thoughts that were helpful to my argument. Doable, but it was rough.
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“I agree, but I removed not words but entire sentences helpful to my argument. Doable but rough.”

31 by you. 17 by me. Pare redundancies, unnecessary words, words that don’t add to essential content. Presumably, your “sentences” expressed your thoughts, so “thoughts” was unnecessary.

It’s a skill worth practicing, and the 200 words was part of the test.

Military officers write all kinds of documents, including variations on the one-page decision or point paper. You have to condense a complex issue into issue statement, background, analysis, options, recommendation, plus leave room for header and “chop” ( approval) lines at the bottom. In its highest form, the junior officer has done such a superb job of succinctly laying out the facts, the general, admiral or other high-ranking official swiftly approves and initials.

As noted by another poster, English teachers can be valuable coaches and editors for this part of the process.

There is help in the internet. A sample:
wowwritingworkshop.com

College Essay Blog

Get expert advice about writing college entrance essays from the leading experts in college essay writing.
wowwritingworkshop.com wowwritingworkshop.com

Glad you got yours down and good luck!
 
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Capt MJ said:
“I agree, but I removed not words but entire sentences helpful to my argument. Doable but rough.”

31 by you. 17 by me. Pare redundancies, unnecessary words, words that don’t add to essential content. Presumably, your “sentences” expressed your thoughts, so “thoughts” was unnecessary.

It’s a skill worth practicing, and the 200 words was part of the test.

Military officers write all kinds of documents, including variations on the one-page decision or point paper. You have to condense a complex issue into issue statement, background, analysis, options, recommendation, plus leave room for header and “chop” ( approval) lines at the bottom. In its highest form, the junior officer has done such a superb job of succinctly laying out the facts, the general, admiral or other high-ranking official swiftly approves and initials.

As noted by another poster, English teachers can be valuable coaches and editors for this part of the process.

There is help in the internet. A sample:
wowwritingworkshop.com

College Essay Blog

Get expert advice about writing college entrance essays from the leading experts in college essay writing.
wowwritingworkshop.com wowwritingworkshop.com

Glad you got yours down and good luck!
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Absolutely. Thank you for the advice.
 
Another big saver are conjunctions ie:
they are
we have
It is
etc, etc... dump one or the other into the search function of your word editor, and see if you can connect them.

Also, ‘the’ is always overused. Run that one, too. It’s amazing at how over used that word is.
 
justdoit19 said:
Another big saver are conjunctions ie:
they are
we have
It is
etc, etc... dump one or the other into the search function of your word editor, and see if you can connect them.

Also, ‘the’ is always overused. Run that one, too. It’s amazing at how over used that word is.
Click to expand...
The other one is that. Many times it isn’t needed.
 
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