Personal Statement

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ecmcb5

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Apr 9, 2017
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My DD is really stuck on her personal statement. The USNA IS asking for an event that helped shape her life. She's been blessed with a stable home and good health and she hasn't had any big event in her life. I've been trying to guide her, but she's stuck on this one question. Please tell me it's ok that some of these kids haven't had a huge event in their lives! I'm just looking for some advice. Thank you!
 
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It doesn't have to be a big event, just one she has put thought into and how it helped her grow. It's her interpretation of the event that matters.
 
It could be an event, book, meeting or something that caused her to seek an appointment to the academy.
 
DesertCaliMom said:
It doesn't have to be a big event, just one she has put thought into and how it helped her grow. It's her interpretation of the event that matters.
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Thanks for the advice. She went to Girls State this summer and came home saying the same thing, that she didn't have a "story."
 
Hello,

For the personal statement one, she needs to tell Admissions something they don't know about her already. She can make sure she doesn't list any of her achievements that she already checked off in the Candidate Activities part of the application. She may not have a story, but have her think of what she is lacking. USNA admission is largely based on Academic, Physical Fitness, and Leadership. Some more some less, but those are the main three. IF your DD is weaker in one of those areas, have the Personal statement be about what she's lacking and how she's fixing it. Not as direct as that, but for example, for me, Physical Fitness is my Achilles's heel. So I talked about what I've been doing physically (stuff like JROTC P.T. , working out with Marines, stuff like that) and how that has helped me. My whole personal statement wasn't about that, but I really talked up my physical fitness there, because that was something that wasn't fully apparent. It's a really great way to tell Admissions something they might not know or want to know. If your daughter is a really great student/athlete/leader, and has no main drawbacks, then she can write her statement largely about her commitment to the Academy/military in general.

The Personal Statement can't "break it" for someone, but they can surely help someone "make it". If there's something Admissions HAS to hear, you have 500 words to have her tell them. I wish her the best, and good luck, and I hope this helps!
 
TechFlier7 said:
Hello,

For the personal statement one, she needs to tell Admissions something they don't know about her already. She can make sure she doesn't list any of her achievements that she already checked off in the Candidate Activities part of the application. She may not have a story, but have her think of what she is lacking. USNA admission is largely based on Academic, Physical Fitness, and Leadership. Some more some less, but those are the main three. IF your DD is weaker in one of those areas, have the Personal statement be about what she's lacking and how she's fixing it. Not as direct as that, but for example, for me, Physical Fitness is my Achilles's heel. So I talked about what I've been doing physically (stuff like JROTC P.T. , working out with Marines, stuff like that) and how that has helped me. My whole personal statement wasn't about that, but I really talked up my physical fitness there, because that was something that wasn't fully apparent. It's a really great way to tell Admissions something they might not know or want to know. If your daughter is a really great student/athlete/leader, and has no main drawbacks, then she can write her statement largely about her commitment to the Academy/military in general.

The Personal Statement can't "break it" for someone, but they can surely help someone "make it". If there's something Admissions HAS to hear, you have 500 words to have her tell them. I wish her the best, and good luck, and I hope

This was a huge help! Thank you!
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The personal statement is one of the most important items your DD can submit to the Academy. The entire application is all about numbers and statistics and is very impersonal. The personal statement is all about showcasing who you are as a person. The subject matter is wide open but she should focus on what events, books she has read, leadership roles that she has experienced that have lead to her moral character development and ability to call on an inner strength to over come some adversity she has faced.

The biggest point I try and make to my candidates is to write with passion and communicate that passion to the reader. This is what can make a difference between selecting one of 10 candidates that all are equal.
 
My DD made the point she came from a stable 2 parent church going family and was fortunate that essentially her life had been easy to date and she largely avoided any adversity because she both made good decisions and lacked the opportunity to deal with it. Plus she tried hard to learn from mistakes of others thus avoiding real issues for her

She received an LOA in September 2015 and is part of usna 2020

She did point out her father's concerns that she lacked the ability to speak sarcasm well and she knew that would be a challenge for her at usna and in the fleet.

And yes - she really wrote that and submitted it
 
Cerberi said:
My DD made the point she came from a stable 2 parent church going family and was fortunate that essentially her life had been easy to date and she largely avoided any adversity because she both made good decisions and lacked the opportunity to deal with it. Plus she tried hard to learn from mistakes of others thus avoiding real issues for her

She received an LOA in September 2015 and is part of usna 2020

She did point out her father's concerns that she lacked the ability to speak sarcasm well and she knew that would be a challenge for her at usna and in the fleet.

And yes - she really wrote that and submitted it
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That's so funny! I can't wait until she wakes up so I can show her your response! I told her to write a similar statement!
 
MIDNDAD said:
The personal statement is one of the most important items your DD can submit to the Academy. The entire application is all about numbers and statistics and is very impersonal. The personal statement is all about showcasing who you are as a person. The subject matter is wide open but she should focus on what events, books she has read, leadership roles that she has experienced that have lead to her moral character development and ability to call on an inner strength to over come some adversity she has faced.

The biggest point I try and make to my candidates is to write with passion and communicate that passion to the reader. This is what can make a difference between selecting one of 10 candidates that all are equal.
Click to expand...

Thank you! This has helped tremendously!
 
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