Post Night - intent to marry

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Candd82026

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I was watching an old Post Night video (not 2023) and was surprised to see cadets who declared "intent to marry" (i2m) receiving envelopes on the stage. After that, the rest of the cadets picked cards from the board by order of merit.

So what happened with these i2m and what did they get?
 
The Army (and all services I assume), have a “military couples” program that tries to get military couples assigned together. This is normally only for married couples. As the assignment officer told my wife when she said the word “fiancé” when trying to get us stationed together, they don’t care about boyfriends/girlfriends, fiancés. They care about spouses. So we did what many military couples do, we eloped.
For Service Academy Cadets/Midshipmen this isn’t an option as they are prohibited from marrying before graduation. So they are permitted to declare an “intent to marry”. This permits them to work on getting assigned together while at the academy, rather than having to try and “horse trade” assignments later. The details vary from year to year and between SAs, but generally the couple that declares “intent to marry” is assigned to the base that the junior person in class rank can hold. For example, say you have 2 Cadets at the extreme class rank, number 1 and the goat. Normally, the number 1 person gets their choice of assignment, think Italy, Hawaii, etc. The goat gets what is left over, think Ft Polk and Irwin. This isn’t always the case (I know a highly ranked Cadet who picked Irwin), but it’s generally the case. Well, in this case the senior Cadet who declared “intent to marry” better really love the goat as they are going to Polk, Irwin… or something else. But not a choice location.
Some things can throw a wrench in the plans. For example, if one Cadet gets Aviation they do not select postings until flight school. At that point, the Army does not care about fiancés so you better be married. But they will consider married couples in assigning a base.
Also, I guess domestic partner is part of the mix now. I’m not sure how that differs from “fiancé” and “spouse”.
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Blackhawk explained it well. To add to that they go by class rank of the lower ranking cadet and then by how posts went the previous year within the branches they have chosen. They are decided ahead of post night and that post assignment removed from the board and put in their envelopes. So just because they go up on stage first doesn't mean they are getting first choice.
 
Thank you for the explanations, really appreciate it. It's really interesting how it works out. Some follow-up questions.

1. What if the other person is non-military? Does the Cadet then get to choose especially if s/he ranked #1 (just as an example).
2. Do all Army posts on the board (for first post) have living accommodations for married officers taking their spouses with them?
 
Candd82026 said:
Thank you for the explanations, really appreciate it. It's really interesting how it works out. Some follow-up questions.

1. What if the other person is non-military? Does the Cadet then get to choose especially if s/he ranked #1 (just as an example).
2. Do all Army posts on the board (for first post) have living accommodations for married officers taking their spouses with them?
Click to expand...
1. Nope. The only thing that matters in this case is class standing.
2. No. Even if there are quarters on post there may not be enough room. Soldiers are paid a housing allowance that they can use to rent/buy off post housing. This amount is dependent on where you are based. Those living on post technically get this as well, but it is then taken away to pay for the on post housing.
Some assignments are “unaccompanied”, meaning the military does not pay for your family to move. You might be able to bring them, but the cost is yours.
 
Candd82026 said:
Thank you for the explanations, really appreciate it. It's really interesting how it works out. Some follow-up questions.

1. What if the other person is non-military? Does the Cadet then get to choose especially if s/he ranked #1 (just as an example).
2. Do all Army posts on the board (for first post) have living accommodations for married officers taking their spouses with them?
Click to expand...
1. This is only for cadets who are marrying other cadets. There are a lot of engaged cadets (to civilians) but the do not get enrolled in the Army Married Couples Program. Cadets who will marry civilians simply pick with everyone else by class rank within their branch.
 
DrMom said:
1. This is only for cadets who are marrying other cadets. There are a lot of engaged cadets (to civilians) but the do not get enrolled in the Army Married Couples Program. Cadets who will marry civilians simply pick with everyone else by class rank within their branch.
Click to expand...
If the Army wanted you to have a spouse, they would have issued you one… (fill in any service)
 
Do the other SA’s do some form of this?
 
Marines do not get their bases until later at TBS. And some even later… such a flight school. Marines try to do this, where possible. Sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn’t. My room mate was married to a Marine who was 2 years ahead of us. He was in Japan and she got NC. She got NC because she knew it was their best chance of him getting NC next. My other room mate married a guy also 2 years ahead, she chose a ship in San Diego. They were together but both SWOs and barely saw each other. My other room mate married a West Point grad. He went to Germany and she went to grad school in England. Then both got stationed in Washington after that. Barely saw tech other. Services do their best, but deployment cycles, branch/MOS, schools, etc drive so much if this. Dual military is tough and sometimes a spouse will have to sacrifice the next step for the sake of the marriage. Sometimes someone will pass on that great billet or school that is career enhancing to be stationed with the other doing the same.
 
Here’s the Big Navy co-location policy that applies.


No guarantees. DH and I were a dual-service couple. Sometimes co-location meant “same coast,” i.e., Monterey and San Diego, CA. We saw each other on weekends when we could, and conveniently, he was deployed the 11 months while I was working on my thesis and capstone projects at the Naval Postgraduate School.

@NavyHoops described it well. DH and I took several tours apart to maintain career progression. We figured it out somehow, developed our priorities and survival tactics.
 
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Wife and I had to “pay the Piper” to get our careers matched and get the same bases. She went off to Korea for a year, I went to Africa for 8 months.
This was before email. Regular mail took 4 weeks each way. About once a month I would be able to find a pay phone, line up about $20 worth of change, and try to call her work number in Korea and hope she wasn’t out flying. The other option was to use our HF radio to get a ham radio operator in the US who would make a call to a DSN (military) phone operator, who would then make a DSN call to my wife’s work number in Korea. We would then do the very public HF radio phone patch.
Fun times.
 
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