Prioritizing senior year activities (homeschool)

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StarSon2028

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DS is a homeschool student (junior) and this year marked his third year of play on a homeschool sport team. He has worked hard to develop as an athlete in this sport and this has landed him solidly in average player territory. He has learned his contribution as an average player does not come with glory, but with a lot of humility and submitting to coach's vision for each game and the season - i.e. his play time is not the goal. Coach has indicated DS will play varsity next year. This is an incredible opportunity. However, this sport, and homeschool sports in general, require a crazy level of flexibility and lot of driving. A LOT. Weekly practices (3) are an hour away. Two games a week tend to be 1-3 hours away. We've loved it, but it is a big hit on time, resources, etc and varsity will be more intense.

DS is also a part of a national debate league whose competitive season is in direct conflict with the team sport season. Playing JV, DS has had flexibility to pursue team policy debate and LOVES it. This is his passion and he is doing quite well - he'll likely go to nationals this year. The problem is that the varsity sporting schedule will eliminate DS's ability to compete in debate.

DS is active in many extracurriculars, serves as an officer in those activities, and has been in CAP for several years. So, this team sport isn't the only means by which he can demonstrate he plays well with others as a homeschooler. However, I know the importance of team sports to an academy application - Varsity play, esp.

I haven't discussed this with DS yet, but as his "guidance counselor" this decision is coming and I'd like your input: 1) DS could play varsity sport and eliminate debate. 2) DS could depart from team sport, commit to a combat sport training facility 5 minutes from our house, and prioritize debate.

Suggestions? Thank you in advance!
 
Could he try out for a varsity spot at a local HS? That doesn’t require so much travel. My DD HS allows home school kids to participate in extra curricular activities such as sports. I’d check with your states athletic rules on that.
 
So there is no lost time or parental driving time , going back and forth , to the high school for classes?

You have learned what ever parent of even an average level club player finds——it takes often a lot of money and time it often takes a lot of parental or car pool driving. This is what millions of parents deal with daily.

Your child will be applying to an SA and being measured against those kids who do make the sacrifice.

Maybe the single most common thing those successfully applying have in common——a varsity letter.
 
Having to quit debate? Both absolutely can’t be done or it just takes more time and effort? Could he approach coaches of both and see?

This is strictly a personal opinion so feel free to ignore——I’d think being a successful part and a good team mate on a sports team even if not a star , while earning a varsity letter, would be quite important for a home schooled child applying to a SA.

A SA where sports and being a good team mate is very important..

More important than showing you can do an individual sport like karate.. And at this late date it’s only going to be beginners karate or similar.
 
High school parents know this struggle.

Because of gym space - my son’s basketball season was brutal. Games were generally Tuesday and Friday - got home at 11. Practices ended at 10 pm the other nights. After school - he tutored people that needed help - figured out a quick dinner.

He had absolutely no time to study.

And when basketball season ended - AAU basketball started - while playing a spring sport.

I was the chauffeur. And I wouldn’t change any of it if I had to do it again.
 
As a homeschooling mom, I can understand your dilemma. Opportunities for team sports can be hard to find for us. Is the sport a fall or spring sport? I do think a team sport at the varsity level is even more important for a homeschooler than a typical applicant. Since homeschooling is more variable than other types of education, we have to show/prove to Admissions that our kids will thrive in the disciplined environment and work well with others.

I also have an average team sport player that is a junior this year. He is fortunate that he has 3 years of varsity under his belt but he has learned many of the same lessons in humility, obedience to authority, and loyalty. Thankfully, he excels in his individual sport.
 
A1Janitor said:
High school parents know this struggle.

Because of gym space - my son’s basketball season was brutal. Games were generally Tuesday and Friday - got home at 11. Practices ended at 10 pm the other nights. After school - he tutored people that needed help - figured out a quick dinner.

He had absolutely no time to study.

And when basketball season ended - AAU basketball started - while playing a spring sport.

I was the chauffeur. And I wouldn’t change any of it if I had to do it again.
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Time management, functioning under pressure, fitting more into their day than time on the clock.

This does not start being learned in pleb summer it starts being learned in 4th grade club sports and every year after.
 
Small Team Bacsi said:
Time management, functioning under pressure, fitting more into their day than time on the clock.

This does not start being learned in pleb summer it starts being learned in 4th grade club sports and every year after.
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Absolutely right.

Add to it the 5:30 am crossfit outside of basketball season - that his mother brought him to (I have a condition that doesn’t allow me to wake up that early). Luckily my condition didn’t interfere with them bringing my DD coffee to me when they were done working out. ;)

Honestly - the mids schedule is brutal. But my son didn’t have any problems with it.

In class - he snoozes or plays chess.
 
Though the goal here is USAFA, review the guidance USNA provides to home-schooled applicants. I suspect all the SAs have a roughly similar viewpoint. It’s very clear what USNA values as “predictors of leadership.”

In fact, USAFA’s guidance clearly aligns with USNA’s. They spell it out. I just added it below.

The debate team will be a shiny part of his record, even if he does not do this upcoming year. USAFA understands the time commitment required by varsity sports.

www.usna.edu

Home-Schooled Candidates

Home Schooled Candidates page for Admissions at USNA.edu. Updated Mon Aug 21 04:45:17 EDT 2023.
www.usna.edu

www.academyadmissions.com

Homeschooled Applicants | U.S. Air Force Academy

There are many ways homeschooled students can strengthen their applications and prepare for life at the Air Force Academy.
www.academyadmissions.com www.academyadmissions.com

Taking the long view, if he gets into USAFA, he can renew his love of debate team there.
www.usafa.edu

Forensics Team

The Academy's Forensics Team competes in 14 events, from debate to drama, and is consistently ranked among the top schools in the nation.
www.usafa.edu www.usafa.edu

Think strategically. Act tactically.
 
The themes of strong answers above highlight "how we succeeded" vs "why we failed" trends I and others see in many successful candidates who wish to train to serve. Somehow in HS some of these young people are amazing - 3 sport athlete/ team captains, working 20 hours a week, mostly honors or AP courses, Eagle / Gold Star scouts, CAP /. JROTC leader advancement, impact on their communities.

Should all go well, OP your son will be off at a SA or college in about 18 months (sooner if a SA or for Navy NROTC NSI) and you'll believe it or not miss the madness.

WRT to the conflict I recommend your DS meet with the debate and coach to work it out to do both. you can get involved if he needs you/ hits a wall but often they can work these out among coaches and students. It doesn't sound as if his varsity team will crumble with his occasional absence. Again, another great skillset of resolving challenges to have for those taking on the daunting training to be an officer. I think a candidate with continued advancement to a varsity letter and leadership in sports along with national recognition in debate would present better than either/ or. If it's a hardship for gas, cost then start now - reduce your meals out, get what you can tackled so this what 15 weeks next year is something you can get through. Again when you see your DS thrive when others faulter and continue to rise to challenges, you won't regret the exhaustion, higher bills, and hours spent watching practices or sitting in cars outside of 'em.

Good luck to you and your son.
 
On the fields of friendly strife are sown the seeds that on other days, on other fields will bear the fruits of victory.” Douglas MacArthur. The varsity sport is important.
 
This is more for people in OPs situation of Between 2 Activities and Something's Gotta Give:

Only you and your family can make the call. Cannot say what is right for each situation. The great news is you always have that choice!

For parents, you only have this time left and then they are gone. It will be the most physcially grueling time of your life. In season, 4 hours in the car/day, along with my own work, my own sport, and PTA (I actually got an employee badge since I was at school so much!). You will have all the time in the world once they are out of the house. Step back and marvel at how it's a privilege that you can drive him around, volunteer, watch him develop. You did well! This is what many parents do, i'm not an exception. Well, maybe because I didn't pay for club sports but put that $ into ACT study prep!

It's your DS's job to work with the two programs and adjust his schedule. It will be no different at USAFA and in life - many situations where he must get from point A to point B with obstacles. Getting Stuff and Getting Stuff Done.

Sometimes the path of least resistance isn't the path with the least resistance. You end up with more anxiety that it wasn't the right path, and secretly wondering coulda, woulda, shoulda, or having to justify why you...essentially quit.
 
Thank you for the responses and my apologies for ditching the thread over the holiday weekend!

From my perspective, it is the antithesis of a team mindset to be afforded an opportunity to play on a varsity team and to start asking for exceptions to what every player on the team is expected to commit to. This is where *I* sense something's gotta give. That being said, I recognize what most of you are saying -- DS should find a way and I'm going to advise him to reach out to his coaches/mentor to have discussions about what's coming and they can make suggestions. We'll evaluate the choices once they've weighed in.
 
Small Team Bacsi said:
Having to quit debate? Both absolutely can’t be done or it just takes more time and effort? Could he approach coaches of both and see?

This is strictly a personal opinion so feel free to ignore——I’d think being a successful part and a good team mate on a sports team even if not a star , while earning a varsity letter, would be quite important for a home schooled child applying to a SA.

A SA where sports and being a good team mate is very important..

More important than showing you can do an individual sport like karate.. And at this late date it’s only going to be beginners karate or similar.
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I couldn't agree more. There's post in the "waiting treads" that have applicants that took multiple AP classes, plays musical instruments scores very high in SAT and very high GPA. Personal workout in Gym and taking martial / boxing classes. All received TWE. All of them have something in common, they did not participate in any competitive club or varsity sports. Reasons being not having enough time so they decided to spend more time in one area than the other. Not enough time is the norms in the Academy and you cannot give up the military training and physical. All three goes hand in hand.
 
AP classes are great.
Varsity Sports are great.
Class rank in the top 5 is great.
A top ACT/SAT test score is great.
Earning the Eagle Scout is great.
Going to Boys State is great.

At the end of the day, every family and every candidate will experience limitations. They must adapt, persevere, and focus on those things within their control. That was the point of this post. I'm not devaluing varsity sport accolades by personally questioning if a homeschool sport team pulls as much weight as a nationally ranked speech and debate team when weighing priorities - and how I wish I didn't have to weigh the two! I can't afford to do both, nor can DS fully commit to both. Pretending most average families can/should is not helpful. (I'm going to go out on a limb and assume we're all working our tails off as parents.)

My recommendation to other homeschool families who may read this thread is to find other homeschool families whose children have received appointments. We've done this and have found them a great resource. :)
 
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Athletics. Academics, Leadership. That is official guidance from the Sup and on the DoDMERB website. It takes all three to be competitive. There are always exceptions but not many. That's just how it is.
 
StarSon2028 said:
ndidate will experience limitations. They must adapt, persevere, and focus on those things within their control. That was the point of this post. I'm not devaluing varsity sport accolades by personally questioning if a homeschool sport team pulls as much weight as a nationally ranked speech and debate team when weighing priorities - and how I wish I didn't have to weigh the two! I can't afford to do both, nor can DS fully commit to both. Pretending most average families can/should is not helpful. (I'm going to go out on a limb and assume we're all working our tails off as parents.)

My recommendation to other homeschool families who may read this thread is to find other homeschool families whose children have received appointments. We've done this and have found th
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StarSon2028 said:
AP classes are great.
Varsity Sports are great.
Class rank in the top 5 is great.
A top ACT/SAT test score is great.
Earning the Eagle Scout is great.
Going to Boys State is great.

At the end of the day, every family and every candidate will experience limitations. They must adapt, persevere, and focus on those things within their control. That was the point of this post. I'm not devaluing varsity sport accolades by personally questioning if a homeschool sport team pulls as much weight as a nationally ranked speech and debate team when weighing priorities - and how I wish I didn't have to weigh the two! I can't afford to do both, nor can DS fully commit to both. Pretending most average families can/should is not helpful. (I'm going to go out on a limb and assume we're all working our tails off as parents.)

My recommendation to other homeschool families who may read this thread is to find other homeschool families whose children have received appointments. We've done this and have found them a great resource. :)
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We're homeschoolers with one son USNA 24 and one USAFA 27. My DH and I are also both SA grads. Feel free to PM me if you want to chat about ideas for your applications/senior year.
 
StarSon2028 said:
I can't afford to do both, nor can DS fully commit to both. Pretending most average families can/should is not helpful.
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Yet, every year thousands of applicants successfully accomplish this. It’s a competition that takes commitment and perseverance to win. No one ever said it’s for average candidates.

I am not trying to criticize. I am trying to point out that USAFA is usually the goal of exceptional kids who do exceptional things. If they want to earn an appointment, they will find a way to do what is needed.

Stealth_81
 
Stealth_81 said:
Yet, every year thousands of applicants successfully accomplish this. It’s a competition that takes commitment and perseverance to win. No one ever said it’s for average candidates.

I am not trying to criticize. I am trying to point out that USAFA is usually the goal of exceptional kids who do exceptional things. If they want to earn an appointment, they will find a way to do what is needed.

Stealth_81
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Absolutely.

There were students that wanted to do some activities they couldn’t afford that my son participated in. Other parents including me were happy to help them with costs, travel, etc.

Every time anyone asked me for a donation to help a kid do an activity - whether through my business or personally - whether I knew them or not - I always donated. Just because they showed the initiative to ask.

There are plenty of businesses that would love to sponsor hard working students.
 
Really fun for me to take a look back in time. One of my daughter's coaches who really encouraged her and showed her how to love competing and being a leader now has a HS aged son lifeguarding, while I swim.. It was my great pleasure telling him how much his dad contributed to my daughters love of her team sport and where all that has taken her. She no longer competes in swimming, but she has pursued some of the AF competitions over the years. Like marathons triathlons and equine competitions , even set to music that she choreographs.. She works out so she always gets the highest scores on the fitness.. Shes committed and passionate about her work. She's had lots of education and training, giving her the tools she needs. She said statistically she is ranking very high in her peer group. She is retiring in 6 years! Where did the time go.? Its terrific seeing the opportunities available for women in leadership, in contrast to our earlier formale family members., who only had limited career options even after getting a college degree. Looking back it wasn't just doing a lot of sports and activities as a teen, but pursuing the team leaderships which set her apart and made her fit in at USAFA. I think the goal for your teen is to enjoy their remaining time in HS, being a good team member but also aspiring to develop leadership.. My daughter always continued to volunteer locally off base in different organizations wherever they have lived. They continue to have a lot of interests. When her husband was deployed she could do Air Bnb in part of her house. (Off base) She was a gracious host and enjoyed a lot of well educated guests who came for advanced trainings or board exams . She managed the bookings and the cleanings in addition to her AF career. Shes always had great relations with her neighbors, I like to think watching my parents in a smaller town showed her that.

The kids should do what they love, but at this time they should be developing some of the more important skills of being on a team, not just going through the motions . ..

.
 
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