summer seminar second essay

vcruz561

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Hello I know its a bit late but i want to see if I can get any quick tips on the second essay.

2. What makes you a unique candidate for the summer seminar program? (1500 characters max)

My family has had a very minimal history in the military, and it is incredible how my interest peaked during my years in High School. I have always known my great-grandfather fought during World War Two, and from what I was told about him, he was a fantastic man; the stories of him fighting for his country permitted me to join AFJROTC and follow in his footsteps and fight for this amazing country just as he did.

My experience in JROTC has made me into a physically and mentally strong person, and I proved myself to be a strong leader for my wing.I endured a week of two of my summers at a camp for AFJROTC known as Cadet Leadership Camp and Cadet Staff Leadership Camp. I would spend a week being pushed to my limit to be a strong leader, and this taught me to exceed my weaknesses and make myself a better cadet for my corps, community, and family. Since I was the only cadet in my wing to go to summer camp, the pressure fell on me to be a robust and reliable commander as my rank grew. Yet pushing myself has made me a dependable leader in my corps, and I will always work harder to help my fellow cadets become well-rounded citizens. I want to show my wing that no matter your background, as long as you push yourself and have a goal to fight for; there's nothing you can not do. Going to the summer seminar, I want to get to know the academy and show myself this is what lies ahead in the next part of my journey, Knowing that I would have made my grandfather proud.
 
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I would just plug it into grammarly to fix your punctuation, there's a few incorrect capitalizations and spacing errors
 
Hello I know its a bit late but i want to see if I can get any quick tips on the second essay.

2. What makes you a unique candidate for the summer seminar program? (1500 characters max)

My family has had a very minimal history in the military, and it is incredible how my interest peaked during my years in High School. I have always known my great-grandfather fought during World War Two, and from what I was told about him, he was a fantastic man; the stories of him fighting for his country permitted me to join AFJROTC and follow in his footsteps and fight for this amazing country just as he did.

My experience in JROTC has made me into a physically and mentally strong person, and I proved myself to be a strong leader for my wing.I endured a week of two of my summers at a camp for AFJROTC known as Cadet Leadership Camp and Cadet Staff Leadership Camp. I would spend a week being pushed to my limit to be a strong leader, and this taught me to exceed my weaknesses and make myself a better cadet for my corps, community, and family. Since I was the only cadet in my wing to go to summer camp, the pressure fell on me to be a robust and reliable commander as my rank grew. Yet pushing myself has made me a dependable leader in my corps, and I will always work harder to help my fellow cadets become well-rounded citizens. I want to show my wing that no matter your background, as long as you push yourself and have a goal to fight for; there's nothing you can not do. Going to the summer seminar, I want to get to know the academy and show myself this is what lies ahead in the next part of my journey, Knowing that I would have made my grandfather proud.
So when i went to NASS, I had contact with a friend of mine who's c/o '24 at USNA, and he told me that the main focus of your essay should tie the biggest unique aspects of your life into how they would make you strong at your chosen summer seminar/SA in the end, but also be fully YOU. they don't want robot essays, but they don't want essays that make no sense either. Also, they should be showing your consistency and commitment to something, the SAs like that. As someone who got in, your essay looks really good to me. just make sure to REALLY highlight those personal ties.

Again, I went to NASS, not USAFA, but I feel they're similar! Good luck!

Also my favorite quote from another midshipman:
Don't give up on your passion for the sake of professionalism.

let me know how it goes!
 
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