Usmaps to other colleges/academies

[Academymom5]

My child is at a preparatory school but is reconsidering the Academy. Can she apply to other academies or colleges? How does that work? She is afraid to tell prep school dean.

 

[Capt MJ]

My child is at a preparatory school but is reconsidering the Academy. Can she apply to other academies or colleges? How does that work? She is afraid to tell prep school dean.

Time for her to adult up. My mom would have said, “Let me know how that talk goes. Love you.” The key thing is she is moving purposefully toward something and not running away from something.

The service academies factor in prep school attrition in their intake calculations every year. She should think through her rationale, be ready to express it, show she is thinking clearly and realizes she doesn’t think it’s a good two-way fit for for her at an SA, military service, whatever. Then express appreciation for the fill-in-blank things she has experienced at prep school X. Finally, outline plans to apply elsewhere and her research to date.

The Dean and staff have heard it all, dealt with it all. She should think it through, own the decision and move on. She can still go through the process of applying to an SA and decide later if she is offered an appointment. If she steps away from that SA process completely, then she’s made up her mind. Watch what she does, not what she says. That helps in determining if this is transient or permanent disaffection.

Learning how to have difficult adult conversations is something you have no doubt prepared her to do, so just cheer her on.

 

[flieger83]

Time for her to adult up. My mom would have said, “Let me know how that talk goes. Love you.” The key thing is she is moving purposefully toward something and not running away from something.

The service academies factor in prep school attrition in their intake calculations every year. She should think through her rationale, be ready to express it, show she is thinking clearly and realizes she doesn’t think it’s a good two-way fit for for her at an SA, military service, whatever. Then express appreciation for the fill-in-blank things she has experienced at prep school X. Finally, outline plans to apply elsewhere and her research to date.

The Dean and staff have heard it all, dealt with it all. She should think it through, own the decision and move on. She can still go through the process of applying to an SA and decide later if she is offered an appointment. If she steps away from that SA process completely, then she’s made up her mind. Watch what she does, not what she says. That helps in determining if this is transient or permanent disaffection.

Learning how to have difficult adult conversations is something you have no doubt prepared her to do, so just cheer her on.

 

[Small Team Bacsi]

are we even into October yet?

the school year is so young,

one October on of mine decided prep school and a future SA was not for them. The werevgoing to quit and thus fail. They are now a SA grad.

Another one of mine decided in a different Oct that prep school and a future at a SA was not for them. They are now “relatively” happy there at a SA.

Dont help her. Unless you want to encourage failure. Don’t make it easy. Unless of course you want to encourage failure.

The military or SA is not for me ———said by kids who are struggling. She can work thru this. Allow her the time to do so.

my message to mine——-suck it up and at least don’t quit and finish the year at prep you started.

If she does that there is a very good chance she will weather the storm and thrive.

But the answer is yes she can apply to other schools. Will she regret the decision to leave? Many do. We have some on this forum who can attest to that from personal experience.

if someone does do a,full,year at prep then declines the offer to their SA——-at that point they would likely be making the correct decision——-a SA is not for me.

Then she is not a failure that quit. She is someone who knew what she did not want.

Good Luck I can’t tell you how much angst and worry my family and I have had over the years with this very question. As have 1000s of others many of whom are are now proud grads.

 

[justdoit19]

I was thinking the same thing….it’s still September! Google/Search around the forums for ‘my plebe/cadet wants to quit’. For great discussion about how to support them. It’s pretty common to struggle early, and ‘want to quit’. Fortunately, it’s not that easy to ‘just quit’. There will be counseling and out processing that will occur. So she WILL have to have those discussions. There is a process to evaluate whether this is a whom, or true desire. Which is good, so it doesn’t happen due to a moment in time struggle.

BTW, everyone will struggle. But pushing through that makes them more confident and stronger, by realizing they CAN get through it and make it through to the other side. Leaders are being developed here, and this is part of how that’s done.

GREAT advice above from people that know. This has to be HER journey. Encourage her to stay the year, to have completed something. Chances are, she will continue. Maybe not. But then it’s an educated, rational decisions. Vs a reactionary choice when struggling.

I have one that also struggled. The chaplains were very helpful for him. They are well versed in the process, and can guide her to reflect and think things through. Privately. I’m a big fan of Chaplins. Tell her to reach out for informal discussion with them. They are really good at weeding out real issues, and giving tools to deal with them. Sometimes, a student just needs an ear….and not mom/dads.

Hang in there. Read around the forums about discussion pertaining to this. Also, do you have a battle buddy? State parents club? This is different for parents, as well. But don’t enable her to take the easy route and quit. She will regret that.

To answer your OP about if stuff transfers? Generally no, and probably more so from a prep program. Idk though. I only know from experience of freshman or sophomore kids that leave. Not much transfers. And that’s probably a better question for her to ask the school she’s looking at transferring to. That’s who decides.

 

[justme]

I am curious about the "other academies" part of the question. I know from many posts that xfers from one SA to another is less likely than seeing bigfoot riding a unicorn, but is that the case for whichever SA's PS to a different SA?

Would a Napster applying to USMA be looked upon with a positive, neutral, or negative mark in their application review? Assuming a successful year, of course. Do Preps students apply to multiple SAs as a common enough action ( say, comparable % to whether they applied to more than 1 directly from HS), or do 99+% only to their related one or none at all?

 

[Small Team Bacsi]

My most recent I want to quit prep school experience.

They had been unhappy and in tears for days. The parents made it easy. They did not support leaving but they said ——Sure you can come home. Yes you can transfer to a real college.

The child went thru the Tango Company , where your daughter will be if she does decide to leave, for a couple of weeks. Got lots of advice. Then left..

within hours of being home they were in tears again although this time they were asking about reapplying to the same SA for the next year. Which they did.

But did not get in. Now later the parents are distraught and the child is at a regular school but not at all happy they did not get back in after leaving the first time.

If only the parents had said——-you can fail out of prep school but you can’t just quit.

The other example, equally unhappy, also in tears, also down loaded DOR forms. But these parents said——suck it up you are no coming home as a quitter.

That child is now doing well at a SA (it’s still early and 6 week exams and all) but they are happy they fought through the desire to quit.

The way the parents play this will often decide how it works out.

Justme——NAPS grads have gone to the USMA. I have no idea if it’s more than one or not. I doubt it happens often. But in this older case he received a nomination to the USMA from Congress while at naps.

MoH awardee 1st Lt Frank Reasoner USMC

 

[Academymom5]

Thanks. She does not plan to quit the prep school. She wants to apply for other options (other academies/rotc with regular college) for next year. Ps also a boyfriend that is in regular school far away and surprise, she wants to apply to schools near him. But it’s not “because” of him Mom. Hmmmm.

 

[Small Team Bacsi]

If she finishes the year at prep I’d bet money she will be a cadet next year. Saying no after finishing the year and the bonding and trials over come is very difficult. And I don’t think it’s done all that often at least by choice.

Then she can become a member of the 2% club.

A free education my butt. It’s nothing but stress and worry for 4 or 5 straight years for most parents.

 

[justdoit19]

Thanks. She does not plan to quit the prep school. She wants to apply for other options (other academies/rotc with regular college) for next year. Ps also a boyfriend that is in regular school far away and surprise, she wants to apply to schools near him. But it’s not “because” of him Mom. Hmmmm.

Ya that’s also a common thing. So add to your searching ‘surviving a gf/bf’ and how to support lol

Most don’t last. Whether an academy or not. One of mine did, 2pct club, and married. One got dumped during plebe summer (hence part of the challenges for them).

Boy oh boy is my one that was dumped, GLAD HE DIDNT LEAVE FOR THEM!!!!! And the one that made it and married? Did DESPITE being apart. If it’s meant to be, it will.

Good luck. PM if you need a battle buddy. #BeenThereDoneThat

 

[Small Team Bacsi]

one last word of advice

moms are a safe zone for many of these kids. You can whine and cry and talk about leaving and it’s safe. Likely healthy. Well maybe not so much for mom.

Its not until they have started to tell their coaches or their company officers they are not going to go forward that they are really starting to sound serious.

what they are saying is often less important than who they are saying it to.

 

[Pmaclax]

My child is at a preparatory school but is reconsidering the Academy. Can she apply to other academies or colleges? How does that work? She is afraid to tell prep school dean.

I think it’s fair for preppies to have a plan B. Your appointment is not guaranteed at this point. It’s also possible to sustain an injury as a preppie that disqualifies you for SA, not common but it happens.