"Only bacon can be bacon. This is an immutable universal truth, and one that I’ll go to the grave believing. If you’re not going to eat bacon, however, you still have some solid options. For verisimilitude, beef bacon is where it’s at, and enjoyable for its own merits and not as an imitation or substitute. Duck bacon is fantastic and you should eat it forthwith, because duck bacon, QED. As a quirky alternative, you can do worse than salmon bacon, especially as an ingredient in a composed dish like a sandwich or salad. Turkey bacon will always be meh, and should you feel like giving your tastebuds a confusing afternoon, try dulse. But in the end, I’ll just take some good old fashioned pork bacon and call it a day. Vive la pig!"