Am neither, but took a tour at VT last summer, while my DS was being interviewed by an officer. VT is a civilian college of about 20,000 plus with a Corps of Cadets of 1,100. So I think VT's Corps of Cadets may be smaller in proportion to the Corps at Texas A&M. It was the middle of summer, so no major activity was going on, and almost no cadets were on campus. However, the staff welcomed us (about a group of 7, some parents and prospective students). We had a Q&A session with a recently graduated cadet who was now an Air Force 2nd Lt, waiting on his school report date, then were walked through the barracks by a 3rd Class cadet, who I think was AFROTC. I think everybody was professional and made a positive impression. We got honest answers to a wide range of questions. For example, someone asked about attrition, so the Lt thought hard and used the example of his class in his company and came up with about 50% over four years. Or someone else said he was planning to study aeronautical engineering in order to be a pilot, the answer was, while recognizing that the Air Force is a technical service, "Don't confuse being a pilot with having to design the plane." Don't major in something you're not committed to finish.
The staff were in Lane Barracks, the old historical building. The cadets live in two recently constructed barracks, with air conditioning. (Not all dorms at VT have air conditioning). Cadets are in three or two man rooms. Rooms are spartan (what else would you expect in a barracks?), with a common sink and mirror. The beds are lofted, with your desk underneath, and each cadet has a wardrobe. The cadets drill with demilitarized M1917 Enfields, so while it's cool to handle rifles made for WWI, the manual of arms will not be the same as that for the M16 or M4 (only matters if you are infantry or Marine).
It's a small sample size, but I was in a brigade in Germany where the tank battalion XO and the support battalion commander were both VT grads. I served in the support battalion. Our LTC was demanding, but fair, and not without a sense of humor. I was in a division where the Commanding General was an Aggie. He was tough, had been a Ranger battalion commander, did not suffer fools lightly, but generally fair, and not without a Texan's sense of humor.
Sorry for the long response that may not be that helpful. I saw no red flags, however. Think your ideas of your DS doing a "spend the night" would be best so he can make his own decision if he is a fit..