OP, I actually think some of the feedback that you are receiving that is more on the negative/questioning is side is from prospective Candidates. Many folks have their 'ideas of why someone should want to attend a SA.' For those of us who have gone to a SA, many know the reality is that people for a bunch of reasons, but you must be willing to stay for the right reason, and that is service. I am a female graduate of USNA. Its not West Point, but the SAs are pretty similar in some regards. A couple of things:
1. Being a woman in the military is different. You are correct. Timing for families and other things are factors. How do I know this, because I am a woman who served as a Marine and a huge majority of my friends are female officers. The Navy just increased maternity leave to 18 weeks. That is amazing! Remember you cannot get married until you graduate. If marriage is something you want sooner, a SA is not the right place. Having a kid as a woman in the military is challenging. Timing it so it has the minimal impact to career, deployments, etc. I saw many woman try to get out of all kinds of deployments because they had a kid. The bottom line is if you want to serve, it is upon you to meet those commitments, including deployments. Not saying you wouldn't, just trying to give some reality. This can and does create rifts in units when guys get tagged again to deploy, because a woman is pregnant again or finds everywhere possible to get out of deployment because they have a child.
2. The reason many are giving you some questionable feedback about a high school relationship is because very few high school relationships survive the first year of college, especially ones of distance. And this isn't unique to SAs. The reason is there is so much growth, maturity and learning about yourself. Its the first time most of you have had to fend for yourselves, think for yourselves and develop your own thoughts and opinions. Especially at a place like a SA, you will be exposed to so many people from all over the country and even some foreign Cadets. The growth is so large the first year at any school, especially at a SA, most relationships naturally drift apart. I am not saying this is you, but statistically, it is more than likely. And my parents were married at 19 and still married 50 years later. 90% isn't just West Point, I can tell you that any first year distant college relationship has similar numbers. I know of 2 folks who made it through USNA with their high school sweethearts and are still married today.
Also there is a pretty decent wave of folks who get married right after graduation. I think I went to 6 weddings in 2 days after I graduated. Of those 6, 3 are still married and they all met in college. The divorce rate is rather high for these grads. It is somewhere above 50%, probably closer to 2/3. The reason is active duty life is hard. Also for a SA grad the first year or two after graduation is big growth times. They have been living a very regimented lifestyle and its the first time they make alot of different decisions, entered the real world, etc. Sometimes the growth can create a separation with a spouse. I think that is common for young couples, heck its an issue for all couples. Also if you have dated long distance, it tends to be very honeymoonish during those 4 years when you get to visit. Real life living in El Paso, TX with a spouse who hates the base, misses family and you are gone for 6 months, sometimes just can't take it. Marriage and the military is a totally different world. It has its unique challenges.
3. The reason alot of folks are giving you some flack on here is there really isn't a mention of wanting to serve. You bring it up a few posts down. It is mostly a mention of education and how this will impact your love life. As someone who has gone through this, as has Stealth, we have a little perspective and see these are important questions. I am not here to bash you or call you a troll. I hope I provided some perspective as a woman who has gone through this life. Realize that the military and especially a SA, your time is not necessarily yours. The time management and balance is hard. There are going to be days where you have 30 minutes to talk to your boyfriend on the phone and other days where a text will have to suffice. You might make plans for him to visit on a Sunday and all of a sudden you have a mandatory event. It happens. Women can and do very well at SAs every single day. I had a very positive experience at a SA as have nearly all my female friends. They all have incredible lives in and out of the military and have amazing careers and families. The bottom line is what are your priorities? What do you want to get out of the experience? Remember you can always go and do ROTC also. You would have more free time and could possibly go to the same school , or closer, as your boyfriend. You can even get married.
If you have more questions feel free to post them or PM me. Ignore the other stuff.