My point was simple but you took it off course. Not everyone's stress is equal. Who knows, maybe his stress is HIGHER than yours is right now. I gave you an overview so that you might understand that your experiences could have been far more intense that they were. I suspect they were.
Sure. His stress level can drop by switching degrees, dropping his minor, dropping boxing, dropping scholars and honors classes or dropping his standards. Or maybe he could have some days where he can actually relax and continue then continue the grind? That was my point.
I read your text as chest thumping on how tough you now have it. If were weren't, I apologize. My simple point was you surely could have increased your stress at the CGA. You positively have no idea yet you assumed that all students will REALLY find out what stress is later.
Re: grades and the military. So it's o.k. to get C's because no one asks what they were when you are an officer? Surely you are not that short sighted.
I think we're dancing around each others points. I understand what your saying, and I agree with it. What I'm saying is, some of this stress is needed because when he graduates, he can't just "drop boxing or change majors", he'll have stress he must sustain. He won't go to his commanding officer and say "hey, I'm a little stressed out, so I'm going to take a "stress free day". Maybe he can, but maybe his CO says "no, we need you to do this."
I say sheltered because, while cadets and midshipmen wear uniforms, salute, march etc etc etc, there is a GREAT DEAL of give from the schools for "failure". Demerits, while they add up, remind a cadet or midshipman why he can't/shouldn't do something. The fleet (or big AF) isn't as forgiving.
Also, I'm SURE he knows stress now. But my point is, his stress currently affects himself. His failure is his own. It will impact his future. Once he graduates, it's a whole new ball game. Now his failure affects others, either with careers or promotions, or more importantly, lives. His ability to perform, despite stress, will trickle down to the people he works with and for, and especially the people who work for him.
As far as grades go... I was VERY shortsighted. "2.0 Good To Go" was comforting, until I decided to apply to grad school. Luckily, somehow, I made it, and I can tell you, I wasn't happy getting C's the second time around.
As far as "how tough I now have it." I was an officer from 2006-2011. After my five years I looked and found a job. I am paid well. I haven't had a wrist-slitting Cuban migrants or oil spills or near-death experiences. The stress of grades and fitness tests and service have been replaced with the stresses of balancing a budget, saving for a house, married life, cleaning the house, paying bills, etc. It could be FAR worse for me.
Now I know that my opinion could easily change when I have a kid, and he/she is in college. I don't think my parents sheltered me as a fell and got back up. But I knew they always loved me, and supported me.
So I've been a high performing high school student, a mediocre Coast Guard Academy cadet, a middle-of-the-road Coast Guard officer (with some things to learn), a graduate school student (and graduate), and a private sector employee. I've been a bachelor and a husband. While I didn't appreciate all of the stresses, and I've had some very low points, I think stress has the ability to make you stronger. In the short term, removing some of the stress would have been helpful, but I think I grew from it long-term.
Your son has succeeded, to this point with a packed academic program, sports and military obligations (commonly held challenges across each academy, but tackled differently but different students). He could have taken it easy or cut back, but he hasn't. I think, when he gets to the real Air Force, he will benefit from that experience. He will know how to do the work, deal with stress and succeed. His first instinct won't be to quit or ask for a "stress card".