Please Don't Be That Parent

LineInTheSand said:
Sit in the passengers seat. Be there to keep them awake, share advice/stories, help with directions when needed, and give support.

Let your kid do the driving through the process..... it's his/her road trip.
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On a more positive note.. I know you meant it figuratively, but that literally was the most special part of the whole process. With both my sons, we made a lot of road trips to visit ROTC colleges, and to Interviews etc...We joked and laughed , one on one, It was a very special time of bonding right before they left the nest. A time I will always remember that brings tears to my eyes and a good chuckle....especially when I remember my son running us all through the "Hollers" behind VMI in the middle of the night with his GPS. Good thing we are country folks or I would have been pretty nervous :)
 
Rockats said:
I check in here every so often as my
second son is complete pending review and each time this thread is right at the top.
Quite frankly, this thread is not helpful and needs to disappear. As much as I appreciate these forums-this is the exact type of thread that will keep others away and parents frightened that their child could be harmed in some way by a phone call. It's so disheartening to see so many people judging others-people should feel free to call, not call, help, not help-this is America.
Is there any way for moderators to delete this or put it elsewhere so folks who are wondering about the process, can actually learn about the process of applying to a SA?
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May I respectfully express another perspective? I think discussions like this ARE part of the process, creating topics for conversation for candidates and families as an exercise in practicing critical thinking and determining what makes sense for their own path, their own values, their own parenting style. I think many wrestle with how much or how little, in what ways, to be a part of the process. There are a wide variety of opinions, some from those very close to the official process. That's just what they are, opinions, in a public forum in a country with free speech. Sample, ignore, contemplate, say "aha," or "no way" to the heart's content.

I recently read some history from Revolutionary era. There were free-for-all discussions, blazing rhetoric and some serious yelling that happened in the Continental Congresses; this thread would seem very tame. Plenty o' judgin' back then, plenty of ways to say things one way that are taken in another, today.

To paraphrase a sensible (as judged by me) comment above, people should feel free to read, not read, help, not help - this is indeed America.

I think readers of this particular thread will be capable of discerning there is wide disagreement on nature and degree of parental involvement, advisability thereof. They can figure it out from there.
 
Rockats said:
I check in here every so often as my
second son is complete pending review and each time this thread is right at the top.
Quite frankly, this thread is not helpful and needs to disappear. As much as I appreciate these forums-this is the exact type of thread that will keep others away and parents frightened that their child could be harmed in some way by a phone call. It's so disheartening to see so many people judging others-people should feel free to call, not call, help, not help-this is America.
Is there any way for moderators to delete this or put it elsewhere so folks who are wondering about the process, can actually learn about the process of applying to a SA?[/QUOTE
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So Rockats, I agree with Capt MJ, Debate is/was the American way. Don't go running for the "Safe Space" if you stay around for awhile you will realize that it is like the old men/women ( People ?) sitting around the cracker barrel arguing just for the entertainment value. Sometimes, If we don't get a good thread like this going once in awhile we get really bored. :argue1::bang::biggrin:

People are free to ask any specific question if they really need help, Also the Private Messaging is a good way to get info from someone who's judgment you trust without getting all the static.

So what is the real message of this thread, to me the take away is that there are a few absolutes, but there are also a lot of ways to skin the cat. If a reader doesn't like the answer all they need to do is keep reading, eventually someone will give the answer they like.

Not useful.....Hmmm that would describe about 75% of all internet content so we probably have a better average than most. What I love about this forum is that there are a lot of very bright and accomplished folks involved, and even though their methods may vary, they all have the heart of a helper..... Except maybe Scout Pilot (Just Kidding :cool:) . I keep saying I have other things I should be doing, and frankly no one needs my input, but then I miss my friends Old and New and I'm right back again.
 
Our BGO wanted to meet with the whole family at our home. Said it helped him get the big picture. Took Son aside for private interview before he left.
 
Dhooper29 said:
I am currently a BGO, and I may be one of the few who like to hear occasionally from the parents. I don't want parents calling me daily, for that matter i don't want kids calling me daily either.
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I stopped calling my BGO because he never answered, instead I emailed him pretty regularly every 1.5-2 weeks and I think it payed off because I finally have my interview scheduled for Wednesday next week, however as a BGO, do you think I was emailing him too much?
 
BGOs are volunteers, some are retired others are working. All have different schedules, which would determine how quickly they can get back to you. The first part of my answer is my personal perspective on how many calls and emails are to much. Depending on what is going on two calls or emails a week could be a bit much, then again if there is dialog going back and fourth between the two of you then you may need to communicate more. Some candidates call multiple times a week because they are either anxious for news, they are trying to schedule their interview or they are asking their BGO questions without first doing the research themselves. If the calls are regarding the interview, I personally put a stop to those calls right away. As BGOS we have criteria as to when we are to conduct an interview. Once you complete a certain percentage of your application we can then start the process of scheduling the interview. Typically it is when the application is 40% to 50% completed. We are required to have the interview completed and submitted before your application is 100% completed. I usually will tell the candidate that i will call or email them when it is time for the formal interview.
 
Forumjunkie, that is how i conduct my interviews as well. It is not a requirement of ours to meet the family, but it is suggested. As with your BGO i find that meeting the family is helpful in getting a big picture. I have found that meeting the family has only helped the candidate. If candidates are in my system by early summer I try to schedule an informal meet and greet with the candidates. I leave it up to the candidate and their families to take advantage of my offer to meet with them, but most don't.
 
What exactly needs to be communicated every week or two? You're going to meet and talk and then your BGO will submit his/her assessment of you.
 
Can't wait to see what LITS wears on the Red Carpet. Should be a stunner.

DD and DS had the same BGO. He met with the family at our home the first interview but it was short when he found out I was prior just Chair Force vs Marines. Just a meet and greet and a get to know you. Second was I sat on the porch while he interviewed my son without any family. BGO emailed frequently to check on her status at Naval Academy and USMC.
 
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VelveteenR said:
Your reading/comprehension skills are underwhelming, Johnny. The "IMO" in my comment means "In My Opinion." In my opinion, any participation by me or my husband in our cadet's military life (note the adjective "military") is inappropriate. I am not talking about 16- or 17-year-old applicants; I am referring to 19- and 20-year-old cadets who are past their Plebe year. Other parents in our local club do not agree with us. As @NavyHoops said above:



That quote pretty much sums it up nicely for me.
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Insulting me and my "comprehension" skills, does not change the fact you did not respond to the issue I raised. What are the "inappropriate" actions/activities your WP parent's club engages in. Do YOU comprehend what I am asking? Who do you think you are? What gives you the right to insult me? Your posts are the reason why this forum has lost credibility with SA candidates and in SA admission offices. I have been a member of this forum for many years (under a different user name with + 1200 posts if you want to look me up) , and sadly people like you have ruined it with your horrible, know it all attitude.
 
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I'm on my third helping of popcorn watching this show. It keeps getting better!

Push Hard, Press Forward

Wait! I forgot butter, it will just take a second....

......ok back!
 
JohnnyLaw21 said:
Insulting me and my "comprehension" skills, does not change the fact you did not respond to the issue I raised. What are the "inappropriate" actions/activities your WP parent's club engages in. Do YOU comprehend what I am asking? Who do you think you are? What gives you the right to insult me? Your posts are the reason why this forum has lost credibility with SA candidates and in SA admission offices. I have been a member of this forum for many years (under a different user name with + 1200 posts if you want to look me up) , and sadly people like you have ruined it with your horrible, know it all attitude.
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Sadly, I have been told by many people, in various SA capacities to stay off of these forums due to misinformation and mean spiritedness. So, I learned to take it all with a grain of salt and pick and choose my information. I certainly have received some wisdom gems, and I've also felt the sting, many times.
 
I think the BGO or any other SA interviewer wants to get a feeling of the family knowledge of the commitment of the 17 or 18 year old. Parents are Parents and they don't give up when you are in your sixties and they are in their 90's.
 
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