AFA Girlfriends

As of right now, there will actually be a DOOLIE DAY OUT this year unless some kind of outbreak happens again so they will probably get their phones for the duration of the day instead of just half of it when had it after field day.

Brian
 
fencersmother said:
Christcorp, you are right about coming home the first few times and everything is "OK," even with h.s. friends who are not bf/gfs. But that first summer break is an eye opener for EVERYONE, not just for the cadet home for 2 or 3 weeks.

The second summer, our cadets have almost nothing in common with an average college student, and it shows.
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My son enjoys going back to hang out with his friends, and his brother that is one year younger. He has made a lot of really good friends at USAFA and I think he knows, most likely they will be lifelong friends but he still misses his buddies. They are planning a big get together for his 21st b'day in June.
 
Emma said:
I think it'd be really beneficial to talk to other girls or even guys who have significant others gone, especially if you're like me and new all of this! :)
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FWIW - I have a friend - she and her HS BF dated since their Jr. Year - he got an appointment THREE DAYS before I-day... So his appointment after his QNV was quite a shock. Anyhow, they packed up all his belongings and he made it on time to I-Day. They maintained their relationship throughout AFA - he's now a Capt, they have 4 month old baby and he's working on his 2nd deployment.

I am also with my HS sweetheart from my Jr. Year... it's been 22+ years and it's worked out so far. :wink: He did not go to the AFA. We also did a much shorter version of long distance relationship when his family moved during the beginning of our Senior year. It's possible, but as the statistics show, not probable.

Good Luck!
 
MPO,

Live your life. You are 17 at best.

Be there, believe in the relationship, but don't twist your life around him.

Met Bullet the day after my HS graduation. Long distance relationship for 4 yrs. Engaged and he went to UNT (CA and I was in NJ for 1 yr). Married 1 month after winging. 5 1/2 yrs later after meeting.

I lived my life, he lived his life. We missed each other every day, but we supported each other regarding our dreams.

Honestly, JMPO, I think he loved the fact that I had a life without him. It made him secure that if he was deployed, I would live without him. Typically, the best AF marriages are the ones where spouses are independent of the AD member. I never expected Bullet to be at the soccer field. I painted the house (ext) without him. I knew how to change a flat tire. I didn't whine about moving to Idaho, I beacched about the movers not packing our stuff in the way I wanted. Halloween and he wasn't there OH WELL!

My life went on without him. I did it because I loved him, he loved me, and he loved me more because of the fact that I was independent. He could do his job and not worry about us. Again, we dated for 4 yrs 3 hrs away from each other, long before cell phones and skyping. This is not an easy life as a cadet's GF/BF. If you start to make it all about them and lose yourself, the relationship is doomed.

I am not trying to be negative, or saying you should break up, I am saying if you want to be seen as an adult committed relationship, talk to each other. It is you and him and only you and him.

Our opinions are BS. We are not you and him. We don't know the depth of your love, commitment or trust.
 
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PIMA- Congratulations to you for being so supportive and independent! I think that is almost the only way that a military family can survive. A strong spouse is a 100% must. An independent spouse is a 98% must. A needy spouse isn't compatible with the military lifestyle.

One common thing in every change-of-command ceremony I heard (and I have heard many) was "Sorry (insert spouse and kids names) that I wasn't around alot."

I was an Army brat and I don't ever remember seeing my Dad when he was an O6- he was always at work/TDY. That was common among all the military families.
 
billyb,

I joked for our entire AF life that I was his mistress, and the AF was his wife.

That is the reality of the military SO/spouse.

AF says go, they go! Holidays, anniversaries, etc do not matter. If you think about marriages and mistresses, you get it.

You as the GF right now should also ask what you are willing to sacrifice.

The likelihood of being assigned near your home town is low. It will be yrs of moving. It will be yrs of you recreating your career. It will be yrs of making new friends. Worse yet, it will be close to 250K lbs of packing and unpacking household goods over his career! :rant2::bang:

I never had an issue with the 180 day TDY, but OMG, I hated unpacking the 18 wheeler truck!
 
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Pima has really hit it, and I have to say that finding a civilian partner that can understand that is not an easy thing. Pima is one of those incredible exceptions (and I can tell you that from experience! B&P are quite the hosts!).

Everything she says applies to military partners as well. At that point you can almost guarantee a distance relationship (if different career fields) in many cases, but with both people understanding the demands of the military, unlikely to have one person *(#)ed off at the other for deploying, TDYing, PCSing, etc when both have to do it and both understand the lifestyle!

To have a healthy and happy relationship, you have to find someone who will understand and SUPPORT that lifestyle. If not, bad things happen.
 
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