Dealing with a negative response

  • "Going to the academy? What a shame, she's so smart, she should be going to college!"

  • "I heard she had to settle for going into the Air Force, she always seemed so bright I thought for sure she'd go to college."

  • "Doesn't she want to go to college?"

  • "I always thought her athletic ability and her brains would get her into college, what a shame she is going into the military."

  • "I'm against Bush's war, she must be a warmonger wanting to kill people."

  • "Women have a real tough time in the military, she should have went to college first."
 
When another parent asks "Where did your son go to college", college educated people usually know what that means. Former enlisted generally know about the SA's as well. Yet I've run into air force enlisted men and women who have no idea. They ask "I was in the air force, where is your son at...." and I say "USAFA in Colorado Springs". Then they say "oh, at Peterson?".

Some heads pop back and say "wow", when you mention the USAFA as they are impressed. Some others need an additional comment like: "It's like West Point but for the air force." A portion of those people say "does that mean he has to serve then". Obvously they were underwhelmed. Answer: "Yep. How do you think we win all of those wars, with knuckleheads? The armed forces need many of the best and brightest. Thank him the next time you see him for stepping up.".

Others anti-military types will comment: "I didn't know he was anxious to fight." Answer: "Actually he is fairly anti-war (the last resort). Do you want everyone in leadership positions in the military to be pro-war?" That will shut them up.:wink:

I've heard student comments like "what a waste" that my DS decided to go to a SA. That was before the standing ovation at awards night when the BFA was presented (Big Fat Award).:shake:

If a parent sounds like they don't approve of his decision to go to a SA, I say "you should come out to Colorado Springs when he graduates in 2016, President Obama will hand him his diploma". :thumb:

So my approach to other parents who question his decision to serve is to be extremely proud and quick to set them straight. :)
 
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It's sad that with the information highway and "smart phones", ignorance exists.
Not knowing versus a negative view of the military does not bother me. I feel sorry that they're uninformed. My family and friends know. People I care about know. My country knows. It's all that matters.
 
Not sure how much I'd talk up "he's anti-war." I understand what you're saying about last resort, but that's not "anti-war."

It's a little early to promise Obama's going to be there too! :wink:
 
LineInTheSand said:
Not sure how much I'd talk up "he's anti-war." I understand what you're saying about last resort, but that's not "anti-war."
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He is against fighting a war unless it's necessary. So am I. There are some in the military that hope the current war goes on longer so they can participate. Therefore some SA students look forward to a fighting. I get why, but that's not his approach. Opinion wise, he has a more liberal point of view and he is agnostic. So people that know him don't see him fitting into a stereotype "pro military" personality. Most AFA cadets are religious and conservative. But I agree the word "anti-war" has a different meaning. :) That said, my point to other parents was "do you want all like minded thinkers?" To me at least, the answer is no.

LineInTheSand said:
It's a little early to promise Obama's going to be there too! :wink:
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Whoever is President in 2016 is scheduled to attend. IMHO, it is not too early to make that statement.
 
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MN-Dad-2016 said:
He is against fighting a war unless it's necessary. So am I. There are some in the military that hope the current war goes on longer so they can participate. Therefore some SA students look forward to a fighting. I get why, but that's not his approach.
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Those are the ones that have not yet matured. Unfortunately some never will. This is an attitude that is about them not the good of our country. We fight when we have to fight not because we want to fight. It is disappointing everytime I hear someone say they want to fight. Big difference from being willing to fight.
 
Packer said:
Those are the ones that have not yet matured. Unfortunately some never will. This is an attitude that is about them not the good of our country. We fight when we have to fight not because we want to fight. It is disappointing everytime I hear someone say they want to fight. Big difference from being willing to fight.
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+1.:thumb:
 
icarus said:
It's sad that with the information highway and "smart phones", ignorance exists.
Not knowing versus a negative view of the military does not bother me. I feel sorry that they're uninformed. My family and friends know. People I care about know. My country knows. It's all that matters.
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A "smart" phone doesn't necessarily make the owner one.
 
I have already graduated and am an officer and many of my high school friends still think I enlisted...and never went to college.

That is the nature of growing up in a state with ZERO active duty air force bases :)
 
A lot of people are saying that their high school friends and peers don't quite understand the whole concept that the Academy is a very prestigious four year college. I would just like to point out that these high school friends and peers also probably don't understand much besides frat parties and beer pong at this point in their lives. As such, it doesn't really bother me when I get the confused or uniformed response.

Basically, it really depends on who you talk to and their age. My personal observation is that most adults who I talk to are very impressed with the Academy and the cadets there.

Obviously there are some anti-war people out there who become concerned with the status of my soul/morality when I tell them that I am going to the Air Force Academy. Arguing with them will really not accomplish anything, so I just let them say what they want because I know that they have the right to do so, thanks to America's servicemen of the past and the present!
 
If I can highlight the other side of this issue.

DS (in service blues) was with our entire family in Target. While he was checking out something he was considering buying, I watched a man walk over from the other side of the store. He walked up to DS stuck out his hand and said "Thank you for serving son, your parents must be very proud of you." DS shook his hand and of course said "Thank you sir". But wow what a great moment for him, as well as the rest of the family. On the way out a younger man at the checkout also thanked DS.

So some people get it. And this was up by Boulder, CO where a whole lot of people don't get it.
 
Blackbird said:
If I can highlight the other side of this issue.

DS (in service blues) was with our entire family in Target. While he was checking out something he was considering buying, I watched a man walk over from the other side of the store. He walked up to DS stuck out his hand and said "Thank you for serving son, your parents must be very proud of you." DS shook his hand and of course said "Thank you sir". But wow what a great moment for him, as well as the rest of the family. On the way out a younger man at the checkout also thanked DS.

So some people get it. And this was up by Boulder, CO where a whole lot of people don't get it.
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I've been out with my son in his service blues and I notice he gets special treatment. Many people say Thank You and show appreciation. The people with the least appreciation IMHO are those in his own age group. I get the feeling some look down on him.
 
The question I get asked the most when I say I was applying to the Air Force Academy is:

"Oh so you're going to a West Point? Which West Point is that? The one in Annapolis?"

But I can understand their general lack of knowledge about this subject. Down here where I am in South Florida, I haven't noticed much of a real military presence. The Fort Lauderdale Air Show was probably the biggest military thing I can remember in my childhood, and that got cancelled for the longest time. In fact, I didn't even know USAFA existed until someone else from our school got in (this was a mere 10 months ago).

I always find it different and really awesome when I go to other parts of the country that have a strong military presence; The level of respect for our country is almost tangible. And then I come back home...
 
Christcorp said:
.

But, when you have someone who asks you if you want to kill and shoot people because you mention enlisting or applying to the academies...... well, there's no real response to that. Those people aren't ignorant. Those people are idiots. There's no real reply to them. The only thing you can really tell them is: "If people like me weren't willing to serve, then you'd have no one to protect your right to be an idiot".
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Or, with a slight frown, nod, look them in the eye and say "sometimes'...
 
How I respond

I live in a small town and word spreads FAST! People I've never even met before come up to me and ask about my application. I have to answer the same question so many times, that I've just learned to have fun with it! There's probably a deep reason why you want to go: become the best leader you can be, serve your country in a time of great need, challenge yourself, etc. but whenever people ask me questions with a negative tone or tell me I probably won't make it two weeks, i have some answers that I say.
Them: "Why do you want to go to the Air Force Academy"
Me: "I just look really good in hats."
Them: "Do you think you can wear that much makeup at the academy?"
Me: (appauled) "I NEVER wear makeup" then i flip my hair and walk away.
Them: "you know you'll have to shoot people"
Me: "good thing I played all those video games."
These responses usually lighten the mood. That's all I'm really trying to do. Of course, I'd NEVER do this to my elders or people in authority to me. Just usually kids in my class of something. Haters gonna hate, right?! As long as you have confidence in yourself and know that your decision to attend the academy is an intelligent one based on research and self determination. You are solid.
I'll never forget the day my Bible teacher started being really mean to me in class the day he learned i wanted to go the Air Force Academy. He yelled "Gentry's going to be trusted to defend our country.... Dear God, just take me now- I don't want to speak Korean!" I took it hard, it was such a bad day. But I knew he didn't mean to be so hateful... He just thought he was being funny, and I guess he was pretty funny. I'm sure everyone has gone through some negativity for their decision.
Hope this helped!
 
Thanks!

Gentry said:
I live in a small town and word spreads FAST! People I've never even met before come up to me and ask about my application. I have to answer the same question so many times, that I've just learned to have fun with it! There's probably a deep reason why you want to go: become the best leader you can be, serve your country in a time of great need, challenge yourself, etc. but whenever people ask me questions with a negative tone or tell me I probably won't make it two weeks, i have some answers that I say.
Them: "Why do you want to go to the Air Force Academy"
Me: "I just look really good in hats."
Them: "Do you think you can wear that much makeup at the academy?"
Me: (appauled) "I NEVER wear makeup" then i flip my hair and walk away.
Them: "you know you'll have to shoot people"
Me: "good thing I played all those video games."
These responses usually lighten the mood. That's all I'm really trying to do. Of course, I'd NEVER do this to my elders or people in authority to me. Just usually kids in my class of something. Haters gonna hate, right?! As long as you have confidence in yourself and know that your decision to attend the academy is an intelligent one based on research and self determination. You are solid.
I'll never forget the day my Bible teacher started being really mean to me in class the day he learned i wanted to go the Air Force Academy. He yelled "Gentry's going to be trusted to defend our country.... Dear God, just take me now- I don't want to speak Korean!" I took it hard, it was such a bad day. But I knew he didn't mean to be so hateful... He just thought he was being funny, and I guess he was pretty funny. I'm sure everyone has gone through some negativity for their decision.
Hope this helped!
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It did help! I love the clever answers
 
Holy Cow did this thread take me back!!!

I remember someone asking me: If your twins are so smart why do they want to just join the Air Force? Don't you think they should go to college?

Even today, parents of my sons' peers sometimes find it in themselves, usually when contemplating their own children's SIXTH undergraduate year, to say comments such as: Well, your boys sure did well learning to kill other people. AND Too bad your kids didn't get to go to West Point or Annapolis (to which I reply, "But they did! and to Brazil and Panama, and Europe and Hawaii, and all over the lower 48.").

The best way to deal with these folks, if you must, is to just do well and exude the confidence we KNOW you have!
 
Moving Right Along

Firstly, I think often young ladies even get more of the jaw dropping reaction to their choice.

Our dd is in 11th and getting a lot of negative feedback about going to SUMMER SEMINARS!!! She is at a competitive boarding school. Some of those kids 'get it' as there are generally several appointments to various SAs. But even with those kids, there is a bit of confusion regarding why one would choose a SA ss over a top civilian college pre college summer program.

On a more concerning note, her friends here at home keep asking "why would you go away to a really hard school and then spend some of your summer getting yelled at by military people?!?"

Part of this whole experience, as I have seen it, is for you all to be able to be the leaders that you are and move along doing what you are interested in and drawn to, even if the masses don't get it.

Keep your focus and understand that the reactions you get are generally because of ignorance. Take the high road and don't put down their college choices...just keep your confidence in your SA choices.

S
 
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