Dealing with a negative response

Great thread

Just catching up after being away for several days and wanted to say this is a great thread!

I really have a hard time though understanding how so many people don't even know about the service academies. When I could first read a real book, like in second grade or something, I first learned about West Point through a biography of G.A. Custer. Then again with biographies of Thomas J Jackson, R.E. Lee, and U.S. Grant. I guess it's further proof that people don't read anymore.
 
Mom's encounter

DM is talking with a coworker (great family friend, really supportive, even told me about Boys State) and DM's coworkers supervisor overhears "Air Force Academy" and tries to jump in with a "does your son want to fly" to my DM. I dont know why it pissed my mom off, but as it turns out the supervisor is a "backstabbing witch" (DM's own words, not edited).

What's odd is that my mom was at a complete loss for words, which is odd for her. Any suggestions what to say next time this happens?
 
DM's coworkers supervisor overhears "Air Force Academy" and tries to jump in with a "does your son want to fly" to my DM. I dont know why it pissed my mom off, but as it turns out the supervisor is a "backstabbing witch" (DM's own words, not edited).

What's wrong with asking if you want to fly?
 
I lived 90 miles from West Point. I lived 190 miles from Annapolis. I came from a very poor family. Also, being from New Jersey, there was no "University of New Jersey". They had these dinky schools like Princeton and Rutgers. Yes, they had a state university, "Montclair State University", but even for state residents, it's very expensive. Point is, college for me was not an option. Even with excellent grades in high school, I could only get partial scholarships. In the 70's, you basically went to college if you were #1 in your class and got an academic scholarship; was a superstar jock and got a scholarship, or your family had money.

Because very few in my family ever went to college, and even if they did, the "Family" stayed close to home; no one told me about the military academies. Not even our guidance counselors. Mind you, I lived 90 miles from west point and didn't know I could apply to go to school there. I knew I could JOIN the military; but the academies were never mentioned let alone encouraged. And for what it's worth, college wasn't a last minute thing. I knew in 10th grade that my parents weren't going to be able to get me in, so I looked at out of state options. I received scholarships to many colleges/universities. Unfortunately, it isn't like today. Basically, they paid for tuition. It was very intimidating to go from New Jersey to say Colorado or Utah for college; have your tuition paid for, but have no place to live, eat, etc... or a job to help those things. Needless to say, I turned these options down. Today; fortunately for most kids; college is more available and advertised.

But again; 90 miles from West Point; 190 miles from Annapolis, and neither my guidance counselors, parents, neighbors, or friends knew to tell me about it or recommend it. Even the recruiter who recruited me for the air force, didn't mention the academies. Mind you, Vietnam War had only been over for 3 years, so the recruiter was probably motivated to get me to enlist. My ASVAB and SAT scores were good enough that the recruiter gave me a guaranteed contract with a guaranteed job. (We actually signed contracts back then with guarantees). But again, no one ever mentioned the academies.

So don't be so surprised. As an ALO, I go to a lot of schools where students have obviously heard of the air force academy, (We only live 150 miles from the academy); but very few of them think it's any type of an option. Many think it's something you can go to AFTER you are in the air force.

Some, including some guidance counselors, put the academies on a pedestal that is WAY TOO HIGH and they think it's a catch-22. "You have to be the #1 student in the class to go the academies, but if you ARE the #1 student in the class, then you're probably going to go to Harvard, Yale, Columbia, Dartmouth, Purdue, etc....". Can't tell you how many guidance counselors have told me they don't really have any students they recommend for the academy...... Until I start asking detailed questions about students and their grades and such. Then they are like: "Oh yea, we have some students like that". Now, the town I live in, which isn't where most of my schools are, is a big air force military community. The academies are more well known here, than say, 100 miles north.
 
Negative comments or plain ignorant bias against the military in general is quite common. One can try to educate and convince others and dissuade them from their misconception but sometimes it's pointless and a waste of time. The best course of action is to ignore such comments and focus on your aspirations. There are much more that know the significance of your career choice and are grateful for it. Even without such encouragement, what you believe you're doing is noble and the beliefs that prompted you to volunteer and serve this great nation of ours is all that matters.
 
I was thinking the same thing - what's wrong with that question?

It would probably be asked of anyone planning to enter the AIR FORCE academy.

I'm guessing it was a case of some people just rubbing you the wrong way no matter what they say. Thank goodness I don't know very many of them.
 
I was thinking the same thing - what's wrong with that question?

It would probably be asked of anyone planning to enter the AIR FORCE academy.

Well, that's office politics for you. Since the reputed witch was her supervisor it's probably a good thing she didn't respond with "And he doesn't have a broom."

Sorry to divert the thread, which was about how to respond to someone who makes an ignorant or intentionally provocative comment. Probably the best thing to do is to be polite. You don't want to run the risk of that person being interviewed in the distant future when you need a security clearance and making the following statement:

"He struck me as being a little off. When I asked him if he was joining the military just to shoot people, he gave me a weird twisted look and said: 'Not everybody!'"
 
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Well, that's office politics for you. Since the reputed witch was her supervisor it's probably a good thing she didn't respond with "And he doesn't have a broom."

Sorry to divert the thread, which was about how to respond to someone who makes an ignorant or intentionally provocative comment. Probably the best thing to do is to be polite. You don't want to run the risk of that person being interviewed in the distant future when you need a security clearance and making the following statement:

"He struck me as being a little off. When I asked him if he was joining the military just to shoot people, he gave me a weird twisted look and said: 'Not everybody!'"

It was my mom's Coworker's supervisor... my mom works in a different department. I still don't know why it pissed my DM off so much.
 
Negative comments or plain ignorant bias against the military in general is quite common. One can try to educate and convince others and dissuade them from their misconception but sometimes it's pointless and a waste of time. The best course of action is to ignore such comments and focus on your aspirations. There are much more that know the significance of your career choice and are grateful for it. Even without such encouragement, what you believe you're doing is noble and the beliefs that prompted you to volunteer and serve this great nation of ours is all that matters.

I was just cruising around these forums and for whatever it's worth here are my 2 cents...I think it is an excellent time to join the military, especially a Service Academy. I don't see the outcry against soldiers that was so prevalent during the Vietnam era. When I tell a person that my DS has been appointed to West Point there is a congratulatory tone and a "thank him for choosing this path" type response. DS has told me of fellow students and MANY faculty members in his high school (most of which he never had as teachers), stopping him and encouraging him with congratulations on his appointment. I have had several successful businessmen tell me that they would hire a Service Academy graduate before an IVY applicant! They talk about the discipline and being able to adapt in stressful situations as key with these young men and women. I really think that people are more accepting of the fact that the world is a dangerous place, and a strong military is necessary to maintain our peaceful homeland. God Bless our troops and keep them safe!
 
I was just cruising around these forums and for whatever it's worth here are my 2 cents...I think it is an excellent time to join the military, especially a Service Academy. I don't see the outcry against soldiers that was so prevalent during the Vietnam era. When I tell a person that my DS has been appointed to West Point there is a congratulatory tone and a "thank him for choosing this path" type response. DS has told me of fellow students and MANY faculty members in his high school (most of which he never had as teachers), stopping him and encouraging him with congratulations on his appointment. I have had several successful businessmen tell me that they would hire a Service Academy graduate before an IVY applicant! They talk about the discipline and being able to adapt in stressful situations as key with these young men and women. I really think that people are more accepting of the fact that the world is a dangerous place, and a strong military is necessary to maintain our peaceful homeland. God Bless our troops and keep them safe!

Oh I don't know about all of that.

I think it's far more accepting than the Vietnam era, yes, but so has just about everything else since Vietnam.

I think members of the military are certainly accepted.

I joined (ok, as a cadet) in 2002, and got out as an officer in 2011. I will say the love the military received in 2002-2005ish was much better than what it is now, but that doesn't mean it's bad now. I think people just have lost interest.

Of course, with budget cuts and possible down-sizing, it could also get a little messy.

That said, I don't think it's a bad time to join either. You're accepted. You're generally visible, although sometimes misunderstood.

You will have to embrace and apprciate it, with your co-workers, and you know what, you're probably going to have a good time.
 
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