Mayhemmadness27
5-Year Member
- Joined
- Dec 25, 2009
- Messages
- 22
With all the utmost respect and faithful honor this message is intended for the following:
America's Finest**, tedsnyder63, cjs, sprog, linkgmr, adoloris, 11BRAVO, marciemi**, js3486, vampsoul, chewyoatmeal, TheKnight**, Luigi59, adoloris, Stealth 81, Perfection'stheGoal, Tinidril, Dixieland, PotentialParent, mmb5, Futurepilot22, SeaMars, Just a Mom, Grannie, Lilly, BR2011, House06, Chockstock.
If you are reading this now, and are someone who so valiantly and compassionately helped me, or tried to while I struggled, this is for you. I have previously posted a number of threads and posts regarding my current candidacy to the academy; where I stood as a candidate, how I felt, what I would do if I were a committee member – things of the nature, inappropriate or not. I would like everyone to know the last week or so has been an astronomical wake up call. Stemming from the aid my fellow forum members have kindly offered, as well as the denial of my application to USMA, and the help of the applying admissions staff, this formal apology and rejuvenation of my stature is in essence my soul’s rebuttal; if at all possible.
I accept the reason I have been declined for candidacy, it is what it is. I’ve taken the advice to heart, and transduced it into the core of my being, the fibers of my heart, which brings me to the here-and-now. No some epiphany has not come over me, I’m still the same person, only illustrated in a different light from a different perspective, a much calmer and logical perspective. What is different now is not only my tone but my approach. What I did to get me disqualified is of my own accord, I made that choice, and now I have to live with it, there is no going back but moving forward, it is a steadfast regret from a couple years ago. I have learned a myriad of lessons, ones I will never revisit – ever. Nevertheless, that reality is not what has come over me, because these things I already know. Portraying my new found ability to respond differently in those juvenile situations is a much more enduring opportunity, something I would be tickled to do. The world does not owe me anything; if anything, I should be paying forward what I’ve been so blessedly graced with. My expectations have clouded my perspective immensely, I do not deserve anything; nobody should just ‘give’ me an appointment because it is in order, because it’s just the way it’s gotta be. No. It’s not like that, and many of you have helped me realize this.
At the time I made my posts I was feeling a lot, and I was just hoping, beyond the shadow of all doubt, someone, anyone, would be able to reverse this decision, and help me realistically and tangibly rather than emotionally to stable my uncontrolled mind. This has been made clear, my aims, though not effortless, are lost. When I was posting I was in the middle of a golf round with my brother (’07 Grad), because I fantasized someone would say something to make this all go away. To say “Hey you’re wrong, they’ve admitted you into the class of 2014!” I was that low. What I have found through the time and hearts of many of you is that my position has not desinegrated as far as options. I have relayed my immaculate ambition to go to West Point. It is lifelong and lived daily. Though a few of my transgressions tell a different story, it is imperative this ambition is not lost, rather with a new day: more focused and evolving. These ‘incidents’ which many are aware of, are not small in nature, but large in stature, and to my regret – defining. But I will not let my past define me, because if I could escape it, which are juvenile transgressions in essence (not to demean seriousness that is), I will be ready for the next adventure, hopefully someday with a big 'A' on my chest.
I guess in seriousness the aim of this post is to clear my reputation, not as a candidate (past candidate or candidate to be), but for my own consciousness to rekindle, because I as a young adult, a young aspiring man, I feel it is necessary for my immature and spontaneous judgment to get a grip. And if I can change one person’s perception of me, and if in the future one person see my name tagged to a post and think under a different perspective (under a positive light that is), I feel that makes me successful; not in all walks of life, but it’s a start. Sure I have a long ways to go, and a diligent battle to fight, because the valor of the young men and women who died before me MUST not be outlived, but defined with reason – because there are people out there like me who are living to live for them, and everything they did. This is why my ambition to take that 42 month (or so) adventure though West Point and the years of honorable years to come as an officer(and yes, this truly is in my heart, I am committed) is so steadfast, moreso driven and inspired; with honorable intentions. Selfless intentions. Because to be humble is to listen and be guided by other subordinates, and from there create a character not driven by gratitude or credibility like I once childishly envisioned, but to create a character motivated to serve. And that’s all this is, aspirations to serve, ambition to save, heroism to taste something grateful. And if that means I find my feet inside Thayer Gate so be it; for then it is meant to be. But if not, (which I have come to terms may be an alternative, though not my first choice), I will defend with my greatest instincts what I believe the world should be, starting and ending with the sons, daughters, husband’s and wives, mothers and fathers who couldn’t say what they needed or wanted to because their commitments were too humbling, the commitments that took their lives. And my life goal is to do something of the given regard, and in nature, serve. Enlisting is probably most of your first thoughts, I have been directed to do so, but I just don’t know yet if this does my ambition justice, because I want so much more, and I feel capable of different alternatives. Those like West Point. But if it comes down to it, yes, enlist, and put my money where my mouth is.
I haven’t yet figured out what I’m going to do. I have a meeting set with a West Point council on campus Thursday, which I will be relaying rhetoric of the same message. This meeting is not intended to recover where I’ve been ‘short-sticked’ or ‘sucker punched’ because I haven’t been, I respect decisions made by these honorable men and women of infinite wisdom and judgment, and I stand beside them. But the reason I’m going is to regain what my conscience and innocence had lost though this series of expectation, and get a glimpse of how to do it differently the next time around; which all of you have helped me at a minimum; grasp.
In conclusion I hope someone can take this message to heart, and understand it comes from more than my intellect; it’s really from my soul, and my apologies to anyone I might have offended or disgusted, this letter is of my own accord, and I felt it was due.
Respectfully,
Mayhemmadness27
America's Finest**, tedsnyder63, cjs, sprog, linkgmr, adoloris, 11BRAVO, marciemi**, js3486, vampsoul, chewyoatmeal, TheKnight**, Luigi59, adoloris, Stealth 81, Perfection'stheGoal, Tinidril, Dixieland, PotentialParent, mmb5, Futurepilot22, SeaMars, Just a Mom, Grannie, Lilly, BR2011, House06, Chockstock.
If you are reading this now, and are someone who so valiantly and compassionately helped me, or tried to while I struggled, this is for you. I have previously posted a number of threads and posts regarding my current candidacy to the academy; where I stood as a candidate, how I felt, what I would do if I were a committee member – things of the nature, inappropriate or not. I would like everyone to know the last week or so has been an astronomical wake up call. Stemming from the aid my fellow forum members have kindly offered, as well as the denial of my application to USMA, and the help of the applying admissions staff, this formal apology and rejuvenation of my stature is in essence my soul’s rebuttal; if at all possible.
I accept the reason I have been declined for candidacy, it is what it is. I’ve taken the advice to heart, and transduced it into the core of my being, the fibers of my heart, which brings me to the here-and-now. No some epiphany has not come over me, I’m still the same person, only illustrated in a different light from a different perspective, a much calmer and logical perspective. What is different now is not only my tone but my approach. What I did to get me disqualified is of my own accord, I made that choice, and now I have to live with it, there is no going back but moving forward, it is a steadfast regret from a couple years ago. I have learned a myriad of lessons, ones I will never revisit – ever. Nevertheless, that reality is not what has come over me, because these things I already know. Portraying my new found ability to respond differently in those juvenile situations is a much more enduring opportunity, something I would be tickled to do. The world does not owe me anything; if anything, I should be paying forward what I’ve been so blessedly graced with. My expectations have clouded my perspective immensely, I do not deserve anything; nobody should just ‘give’ me an appointment because it is in order, because it’s just the way it’s gotta be. No. It’s not like that, and many of you have helped me realize this.
At the time I made my posts I was feeling a lot, and I was just hoping, beyond the shadow of all doubt, someone, anyone, would be able to reverse this decision, and help me realistically and tangibly rather than emotionally to stable my uncontrolled mind. This has been made clear, my aims, though not effortless, are lost. When I was posting I was in the middle of a golf round with my brother (’07 Grad), because I fantasized someone would say something to make this all go away. To say “Hey you’re wrong, they’ve admitted you into the class of 2014!” I was that low. What I have found through the time and hearts of many of you is that my position has not desinegrated as far as options. I have relayed my immaculate ambition to go to West Point. It is lifelong and lived daily. Though a few of my transgressions tell a different story, it is imperative this ambition is not lost, rather with a new day: more focused and evolving. These ‘incidents’ which many are aware of, are not small in nature, but large in stature, and to my regret – defining. But I will not let my past define me, because if I could escape it, which are juvenile transgressions in essence (not to demean seriousness that is), I will be ready for the next adventure, hopefully someday with a big 'A' on my chest.
I guess in seriousness the aim of this post is to clear my reputation, not as a candidate (past candidate or candidate to be), but for my own consciousness to rekindle, because I as a young adult, a young aspiring man, I feel it is necessary for my immature and spontaneous judgment to get a grip. And if I can change one person’s perception of me, and if in the future one person see my name tagged to a post and think under a different perspective (under a positive light that is), I feel that makes me successful; not in all walks of life, but it’s a start. Sure I have a long ways to go, and a diligent battle to fight, because the valor of the young men and women who died before me MUST not be outlived, but defined with reason – because there are people out there like me who are living to live for them, and everything they did. This is why my ambition to take that 42 month (or so) adventure though West Point and the years of honorable years to come as an officer(and yes, this truly is in my heart, I am committed) is so steadfast, moreso driven and inspired; with honorable intentions. Selfless intentions. Because to be humble is to listen and be guided by other subordinates, and from there create a character not driven by gratitude or credibility like I once childishly envisioned, but to create a character motivated to serve. And that’s all this is, aspirations to serve, ambition to save, heroism to taste something grateful. And if that means I find my feet inside Thayer Gate so be it; for then it is meant to be. But if not, (which I have come to terms may be an alternative, though not my first choice), I will defend with my greatest instincts what I believe the world should be, starting and ending with the sons, daughters, husband’s and wives, mothers and fathers who couldn’t say what they needed or wanted to because their commitments were too humbling, the commitments that took their lives. And my life goal is to do something of the given regard, and in nature, serve. Enlisting is probably most of your first thoughts, I have been directed to do so, but I just don’t know yet if this does my ambition justice, because I want so much more, and I feel capable of different alternatives. Those like West Point. But if it comes down to it, yes, enlist, and put my money where my mouth is.
I haven’t yet figured out what I’m going to do. I have a meeting set with a West Point council on campus Thursday, which I will be relaying rhetoric of the same message. This meeting is not intended to recover where I’ve been ‘short-sticked’ or ‘sucker punched’ because I haven’t been, I respect decisions made by these honorable men and women of infinite wisdom and judgment, and I stand beside them. But the reason I’m going is to regain what my conscience and innocence had lost though this series of expectation, and get a glimpse of how to do it differently the next time around; which all of you have helped me at a minimum; grasp.
In conclusion I hope someone can take this message to heart, and understand it comes from more than my intellect; it’s really from my soul, and my apologies to anyone I might have offended or disgusted, this letter is of my own accord, and I felt it was due.
Respectfully,
Mayhemmadness27