Ok, here is something to keep in mind; plebes are around 17 or 18 years old. Parents are, well ….. much older. We are boring! My son is the most caring, loving, and respectful son anyone can know; and would never, ever hurt us by telling my wife and I that we are boring. As a matter of fact he probably doesn’t realize we are boring, but we are!
Do not interfere with your plebe’s desire to be with anyone whom he or she wishes to be with – unless that person or persons are a bad influence. We do however need to be responsible parents (for example, no “private visits” with the girl friend / boy friend). This is well in alignment with the moral requirements of a Midshipman. Remember, USNA released the plebes to us, so we are a vital link in the chain of custody.
Sure, there is a good chance that friendships and relationships will not survive, but that is not for us to determine. While your plebe’s friends have been soaking up the lazy days of summer, he or she has been busy answering to a higher calling. It’s the plebe’s turn for a little well deserved bragging! They will bring the stories (and pictures) home like no others can.
My opinion is that we, as parents, need to take a back seat at this point in their lives. Yes, our plebes do “owe us” a lot, however this is not the time for payback. Payback comes in our strong sense of self actualization when we see him or her “flying on their own” at such a young age. They do not belong to us anymore – they belong to themselves and will decide where their loyalties lie. Of course the USNA will help them prioritized their loyalties in a very positive way.
The best way to describe it is “reversed tough love” because it is tough on us, not so much them. It’s time to cut the apron strings folks.