Plebe Summer - First Phone Call on Sunday July 11th

Navy1981 said:
I spent 4 years stationed at medical at the Naval Academy and this would never have been tolerated.
Click to expand...
I agree. Especially with the increased HIPAA privacy regulations, what makes you think it is happening now?
 
A call to the chaplain will be a very quiet way to see what the situation is. I am sure they are used to dealing with delicate situations and will assess the situation without raising a red flag that mom called. In addition, if the plebe needs someone to talk to this will open the door.
 
If one were to poll all the Plebe parents as they arrive in Annapolis, before they have had a chance to meet up with their new Plebes, and ask them to describe in one single word how they have felt throughout the past summer, I will guarantee you that many, if not most, will say that they felt helpless. The system is designed such that this is how it is supposed to be. Also, in a few years when this is all behind blackhawkmom’s son and he is looking back on Plebe Summer fondly, any interference by mom on his part will be seen as a failure. THe question will always remain, could he have made it on his own. He is not being singled out. The detailer is not on an ego trip. There are shortcomings which the detailer feels needs attention which the Plebe perhaps has not yet even realized. Any outside ‘help’ will accomplish nothing in the long run. Additionally, it would perhaps place the chaplain in an impossible situation, so casual as to not raise suspicion to the detailers but focused enough to convince a specific Plebe that he was there for a reason. He will work it out. With that said, when he calls home and says that he has definitely decided to quit, call every chaplain on the Yard. JMHO.
 
Last edited:
I agree with Mongo. Let your son handle this on his own and use this forum to vent. If you start making phone calls, you can make life much worse for your son. From your posts, your son is fighting hard to climb out of a hole. As a parent, the hard part is understanding that somehow your son created that hole for himself and has to "fix" the problem himself. If you try and intercede on his behalf, it will not be good for him.

As to medical, I think Mongo is correct, HIPPA regs prevent the Detailers from picking up someone else's prescriptions. Your son should be asking for a "chit" that would allow him to go to Brigade Medical and pick this up for himself. No Detailer will refuse him this, but they will schedule an appropriate time.

My life experience has taught me that there are usually two sides to every story. You have heard your sons side and he is probably telling you most of the truth. The Detailers have their side as well but it is a story you will never hear.
 
Blackhawk mom-boy, I understand how helpless you feel. After a week of not knowing what was going on with our son after his injury, I know that the worst case scenario goes through your mind. One thing I learned on this journey was that I have to let go and trust that my son will draw on his inner strength to get him through this period in his life. That was shown to us with a letter we got after he had been injured in which he said that he knew he could get through this and knew that our love and prayers were with him, even if he couldn't see us or talk to us. How many times did I want to call everyone at the USNA and find out what was going on but just knew that it was not in my hands anymore. They are still our kids even though they are adults, but it is really hard. My son said that every time he went to get a prescription, a detailer was with him. So, that led me to believe that he had to go along to get the medicine and the detailer could probably not pick it up on his or her own. All I can offer is my support to you and please continue to vent on this forum. I know it helped me just to know that other people cared.
 
I agree with MONGO and MIDNDAD. Your son is an adult and should be able to work his way through this. I also think that you can call the Chaplain Office and express your concerns. Not inconsistent. If I remember correctly the Chaplains have unlimited access to any area and any service member and can walk around and talk to anyone they want to. They don't have to jump into or disrupt the chain of command. They are wonderful people and smart enough to be discreet. If they think it is advisable they can wander through the Company area and talk to about ten Plebes. Can talk to yours somewhere along the line and ask if everything is OK. HIPPA has been a pain since its inception and will be for a long time. Has some great portability and privacy provisions for health insurance and medical records but like every law gets some wierd interpretations. Has your spouse or adult child ever picked up a Rx for you at the local Pharmacy? Have you ever picked up a Rx for your spouse or adult child at your local pharmacy? Did they ever ask you for ID? Did they ever refuse to give it to you? They accepted your payment or copay and handed you the bag, correct?
 
AF6872 said:
Has your spouse or adult child ever picked up a Rx for you at the local Pharmacy? Have you ever picked up a Rx for your spouse or adult child at your local pharmacy? Did they ever ask you for ID? Did they ever refuse to give it to you? They accepted your payment or copay and handed you the bag, correct?
Click to expand...
Just went down to my mom and dads to get some corn and tomatos out of their garden. The price was a trip to the pharmacy to get their monthly medication. Asked the pharmacist this very question. He pulled out a consent form signed by my mom seven years ago when I first moved back home. I guess he did it for me once gratis and then since he didn't know me , the next time mom was in town he requested that she sign the consent. It is a real law.
 
AF6872 said:
I agree with MONGO and MIDNDAD. Your son is an adult and should be able to work his way through this. I also think that you can call the Chaplain Office and express your concerns. Not inconsistent. If I remember correctly the Chaplains have unlimited access to any area and any service member and can walk around and talk to anyone they want to.
Click to expand...
blackhawkmom indicates that her son is presently successfully working his way out of the hole which he is in. I think it is important to him that he continue this with no outside influence. He will appreciate it more in the long run and may over time resent the intrusion.
 
Helplessness is very real to most Plebe parents. When my Plebe had a miserable IDay and next few days his savings grace was the chaplain he sought out on I day. That chaplain also wanted to speak with us after the plebes went into Bancroft. He was concerned for both our Plebe and us as parents. He followed up the next day with our son on a conference call. My son requested to go to Tango - he was litterly not allowed to go. The Company officer and SR Enlisted did not provide the paperwork. They were not going to let him make a rash decision based on 1 to 2 weeks with less than desirable information to make that kind of life changing decision. He was mad at both all through Plebe summer. The funny thing is he now has the most respect for both.

Things slowly improved and by PPW he was thoroughly engaged. He participated in all events that he could to give himself a full plebe summer knowing that if he did not and still wanted to leave at the end he would have cheated himself. When your son makes comments to the tailors about not tailoring things because he might leave - those kind of statements ought not be made and you can trust assured that is not going to sit well with his shipmates nor the Cadre - Bancroft is really small and even the most confidential things end up in the Hall rumor mill - gossip runs wild. Little comments said in public will not help already bad situations.

I have no doubt that you are getting most of the story but even today with a 2LT I know that I still filter what he tells me. He may be slightly exagerating inorder for you to give him permission to leave. Many do not want to leave without parental blessing. Everything they have ever done has come this that blessing and he may still be looking for it.
 
all of you are correct and incorrect. i did call the Chaplin today. He said he is trying to talk to a lot of plebes and by asking to speak to DS there would not be an issue. I made sure to ask that question FIRST. I relayed the information as told by DS. all has been addressed and settled. thank you all for everything. Chaplin said that DS is doing well and realizes he can work his way out --he now knows the procedures to request a chit-he was not advised how to accomplish this prior to his chat with the Chaplin. the bathroom issue was addressed and a new idea has been suggested. (Chaplin almost t'd out his plebe year and didn't decide to stay until after youngster cruise). the Chaplin was wonderful and even called me to tell me what he had done and how everything was taken care of. Feels DS is in the right place with a good head on his shoulders and will make it. the meds turns out were in DS room the day he returned from MED. The detailers did go pick it up. Unfortunately a roommate saw it on the desk -freaked out and locked it up because a detailer was coming in the door and he was afraid they would get in trouble. At the same time DS was on his way back from some assignment and not in the room. As luck would have it-they changed roommates at the same time-so no talking and no communication to DS that his med was there and roomie had to throw it in with his stuff without time to give it to DS. Since they can not talk DS nor detailer ever realized DS did/didn't get the meds. So i stand corrected as does he on the med situation.

On a good note-even tho the call was upsetting got a letter today---seems DS who is afraid of loosing personality and individuality hasn't totally lost his SA attitude. and i quote---

shined the crap out of my shoes today they are all nice and shiny. Buffed my boots so they are nice and black.i feel weird wearing NWU's i feel i should act more violent in them and why blue no advantage on a campus none at all. times are hard we are running out of supplies-we have exhausted all rations prematurely--our radios are down so we can't call headquarters for supplies-i also can not tell you our position as to the fact it will endanger our mission"
yesterday was awesome we had etiquette class and i had filet -and sweet tea!-we went to the store and a center with massage chairs (i didn't get a turn)------------I'm bummed about the detailer switch even tho they are rough and one hates me-they are awesome and i respect them all-----i am not a Mississippi but am closer to a South Dakota--but i do my job----


so today my heart sings ---and all is well with Mom -------good decision or bad i did what little i could do while i still can. i know this too will end ---but until it does i do what i feel is right ---as anyone would.
 
I recall reaching the depths of depression, oddly enough, during the academic portion of my Plebe year. My 1/c squad leader was very hard on us. There were only four plebes in the squad. Meal times were the worst. It's a terrible thing to be both hungry and not want to be at the meal table - all at the same time.

I was recruited for baseball.

Then t-tables began. I was FREE!

(For those of you who don't know, t-tables is short for "training tables". The athletes for a particular sport all sat together at the same table. Plebes were never hassled when at a t-table. It was considered a very good deal - one of the perks of making a sports team.)

My squad leader comes to my room and asks where I was for noon meal.

"Sir, I was at baseball t-tables, sir."

He knew I was on the baseball team.

He ordered me to be with the squad and that he expected me to be there for evening meal. So, instead of t-tables, I joined my squad and the routine of getting grilled the whole time continued.

I figured I had to explain this to Coach Duff, the head baseball coach.

"Sir, I will not be with the team at meals because I have been ordered by my squad leader to remain with my company."

I fully expected Coach Duff to rectify the situation.

Instead, he said, "Don't come to me with your Bancroft Hall problems."

And that was it. No t-tables - but I still had the lengthy baseball practices.

I quit baseball during my Youngster year. Quite honestly, I probably would have quit even without this development. I was quickly learning that Aerospace Engineering and varsity sports did not blend very well. I was one of only two Group I majors on the entire team.

The good news was my grades SKY ROCKETED from that point on.

That was my first lesson in "Life isn't always fair."

My squad leader probably had not right (or authority) to do what he did. And yet, there was no where I could turn - not even my coach.

(Coach Duff was a former Marine. He was not only a Naval Academy icon, he was a real curmudgeon. He was scarier than most of the firsties. Baseball practice was like a 4-hr come-around.) :)

I can't believe I told this story. I'm back to square one of my 12-step program. YEARS of therapy down the drain!
 
Never saw any consent form for anyone in my family when I was picking up a Rx for anyone. Yeah if you ask the guy he is going to go to his HIPPA manual and tell you you can't even be in the Pharmacy. They can't even hand the prescription bottle to the person in front of you unless it is in a unlabeled bag. They can't let you sign the receipt book unless they cover all names above the blank line you are signing. But that is his interpretation of the law. Picked Rx up for my Grandmother, Father, Mother, Wife, Daughters and Son. The first three were not on my insurance card. Sign the book pay the money and take it home. I know HIPPA is a real law. My company spent 1.5 million complying with the requirements when it was enacted. That was for a self insured Fund insuring six thousand people. Electrical lock down and combination access to the medical office where records were processed and kept. Portions of our building were "off limits" to anyone not involved with direct medical evaluation or payments. We are not talking about Class A Drug pick ups here. It is harder to get Ephedrine or Pseudephederine based over the counter medication for a clogged sinus than it is to pick up a antibacterial for Pink Eye. Let the kid ask someone to go over to MED and pick up his prescription. If they don't do it for him "with all due respect" ask to speak to the Company officer. We have some medical personnel who monitor this site. What would they suggest?
Back to the topic. The Detailer may have perfect motives but in my experience that doesn't prevent an Officer, NCO or even a Detailer from being a jerk. "Who ate the Strawberries?"
 
Last edited:
Blackhawkmom -

You did exactly what I would have done given the situation - no second thoughts required! Sooo glad to hear that things have been settled for your son (and I can imagine that you can breathe a sigh of relief right now...!).
 
blackhawkmom,

I believe you did what was correct. Not matter what the screw-up with the meds it is the Detail Squad Leaders responsibility to take care of his troops. Every night before bed they would have a "health" inspection with us (not sure if this still happens, I don't see why it wouldn't) and at this time the Detailer should have asked if he got his medication or if he needed anything else. B/c he had already gone to the sick-call or whatever for his eye in the first place his detailer would be informed of his pink eye and should have been told that he's going to require a presecription. At which time a detailer would have been contacted to pick it up (which we now know happened) and they should have confirmed that he received it. Granted at the nightly "health" inspection DS should have said something he didn't and if you are already singled out that last thing you want to do is be seen as whining. Completely understandable, but in my opinion the fault lies with the squad leader detailer who didn't ensure his Plebe was taken care of.

Hopefully the mail issue as well was taken care of - and I'll guarantee you that majority of those plebes would not know that it is a federal offense to with-hold mail if that was in fact the case.

I'm glad you are feeling better and your son is doing well too.
 
USNA'02 said:
and I'll guarantee you that majority of those plebes would not know that it is a federal offense to with-hold mail if that was in fact the case.
Click to expand...
But I will guarantee you that the detailer knew it was a federal offense and I seriously doubt that a 1st class midshipmen would have risked the chance of violating it.

Beyond, the obvious such as wearing a uniform properly, marching, and a few other basic military events, the purpose of Plebe Summer is to accomplish three tasks. First is to break the ties of dependence and allow oneself to stand on their own two feet. Second is to teach the importance of teamwork. Thirdly, to teach priorities. How to establish them and how to live with the consequences of their decisions. No one who cannot stand on his own two feet and think independently can become an effective Naval Officer. Also, if one cannot be a team player he cannot be an effective member of the Navy team. If he cannot establish priorities, he will probably never survive the Academy experience. In the recent past, with the deemphasis of all things “Plebe” during the academic year, a greater demand has probably been placed on the detailers to drive these concepts home during the very short summer session.

What is done is done. Back in the day, we were told on I-Day to look to our left and then look to our right. One of the three of us would not be there at graduation. Much of this attrition happened Plebe Summer. My first roommate lasted two weeks. Two person rooms back then. His replacement lasted a couple more. Like Memphis, I am still in a 12 step recovery program. My Plebe Summer was not easy. My son had a difficult Plebe Summer. The concept of teamwork totally evaded him. I knew this and did everything possible, short of sneaking out to the mailbox and tearing up his application, of dissuading him from attending. I would have been livid had my mom called the Chaplain. My son would still not be talking to me had I done the same. For someone who is making progress, who has no intentions to give up, his phone calls were simply venting or perhaps even looking for a little sympathy. I will almost guarantee the day will come that he will resent the interference. And it definitely did nothing for his ‘education’.

And your phone calls will change once your mid realizes that you have violated the trust he expected. There will be fences to mend.

Just the opinion of a "Vet" of all the three levels being discussed here.
 
Last edited:
I will almost guarantee the day will come that he will resent the interference. And it definitely did nothing for his ‘education’.

And your phone calls will change once your mid realizes that you have violated the trust he expected. There will be fences to mend.
Click to expand...

Mongo -

Let it go!! Blackhawkmom did what she had to do and no one should blame her for it. Stop making assumptions and creating drama based on your interpretation of the situation. Your relationship with your mom and your son's relationship with you has nothing whatsoever to do with her relationship with her son - You may have been livid with your mom but her son may not. You gave your opinion - Great. She chose to do something else. You know nothing about her relationship with her son - She will not have any fences to mend. Stop with the guilt-trip already!
 
HeyClaire said:
Mongo -

Let it go!!
Click to expand...

HeyClaire,
Hey, is this an information forum or a parent support forum? Look at the top of the SA list on the home page:
This is a place to ask questions and give answers to general questions for prospective service academy members.
Click to expand...

What blackhawkmom did is, like I stated in my last post, done. My last poat is targeted for the mom who, next summer, after her first phone call, pulls up this thread. Had you really wanted it to die, you should not have brought it again to the forefront. It would have still served my purpose. Don't try to make the forum into something that it is not.
 
Hey, is this an information forum or a parent support forum? Look at the top of the SA list on the home page:
Quote:
This is a place to ask questions and give answers to general questions for prospective service academy members.
Click to expand...
Don't try to make the forum into something that it is not.
Click to expand...

Mongo -
It is very obvious, based on your many responses to just about every thread on this forum, that you are well aware that many people use this forum for purposes other than those mentioned above. Parental support is a part of this forum - and you can't change that.
 
HeyClaire,

For what it's worth, re Mongo's post... I have two children. They are both very different. As Mongo noted, one would have been highly upset with any perceived "interference." Even if he had dug a deep hole for himself, he would have wanted to "figure a way out." This same child, when he was 8, walked home from school after he saw me driving away. I was just circling to find a parking space, but had previously advised him that if he was playing and not at the appointed pick up point, he would have to find a ride home. I did not expect him to walk... several miles from an adjoining city... for close to four hours (with a short stop at a 7-11 to get a slurpee). Even the helicopters searching overhead did not seem to phase him (<: This child is still in high school. He wants to be a Marine.

My other child, now a plebe, would not have seen it as "interference." She has come to trust my judgment and it would not be a factor for her if I thought the call was necessary. And in this case, it is not like a call was placed to the Dant. Doesn't a Chaplain call rank lower on the jeopardy scale?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top