The wars are nothing like they were ten years ago. Your son is more likely to get stabbed on the streets of Chicago or get killed in a car accident on his way to school than he is to get maimed or killed in combat. The Army isn't quite back to the garrison 90's, but it's a whole lot closer than I'm used to.
URGENT: My son joining the army
- Thread starter Army.Dad
- Start date
It's no one's business, but I would be interested to know Army.dad's own history. Where did you come from and under what circumstances? This is a more of a rhetorical question.
Very few immigrate and become US citizens without a some degree of risk and or danger. There is no guarantee of success. If you came as an adult male with a family you were taking a risk on many levels. If you came as a child, then your parents took those risks. In fact, it wouldn't hurt if more native born Americans experienced more trials and tests to affirm their citizenship and appreciate what naturalized citizens experience.
OP may have come from a place where the military and/or police are very "unprofessional", where advancement through the ranks is based on politics or corruption. Did OP arrive here as a child or an adult? Is OP from a culture where respect for and obedience to one's parents is trumps any other allegiance?
Regardless of whatever culture you come from, if your family subscribes to values of honor, honesty, loyalty to friends, personal development, perseverance, and appreciation for one's own good fortune, then it should not surprise you that your DS would be attracted to ROTC. You groomed him for it.
Very few immigrate and become US citizens without a some degree of risk and or danger. There is no guarantee of success. If you came as an adult male with a family you were taking a risk on many levels. If you came as a child, then your parents took those risks. In fact, it wouldn't hurt if more native born Americans experienced more trials and tests to affirm their citizenship and appreciate what naturalized citizens experience.
OP may have come from a place where the military and/or police are very "unprofessional", where advancement through the ranks is based on politics or corruption. Did OP arrive here as a child or an adult? Is OP from a culture where respect for and obedience to one's parents is trumps any other allegiance?
Regardless of whatever culture you come from, if your family subscribes to values of honor, honesty, loyalty to friends, personal development, perseverance, and appreciation for one's own good fortune, then it should not surprise you that your DS would be attracted to ROTC. You groomed him for it.
hopefulacademyguy
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It sounds like you have really negative view of the military. I don't think you will ever be comfortable with your son joining. But it's his choice, you will have to respect him as an adult to choose his path.
kp2001
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But yet they came here to try to understand and gain information, sounds like someone who is at least comfortable enough with themselves to realize their biases and to try and overcome them.
How does one even come close to thinking they would know if someone would be comfortable with their child joining or not. Everyone comes with their own background and biases. These can be overcome by gaining insight.
Sure, but wouldn't it be nice if one's parents were onboard with one's decisions? That's our opportunity here. We have an opportunity to provide insight to someone which may help them overcome their concerns.
I wish I can accept that as a fact it would be very alleviating, but as a 62 year old man who suffers for diabetes and high blood pressure and works hard to meet ends meet as a cab driver and bellman at a hotel, I cannot fathom living a normal life while my son is deployed overseas (hell I feel like I may have to be hospitalized for a time being) politics and war play hand in hand nowadays so I feel like its a coin toss. My son is a great kid who works really hard for what he wants, sometimes his plans work and sometimes they don't, I don't want to see him hurt but at the same time I don't want to him to avoid pursuing his plans.
ConsulSeneca
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Army.Dad, you are not alone in your concerns, certainly. I can tell you that as an applicant myself and as the son of someone who is also apprehensive. I'm still trying to weigh the risks.
A question for others: how much safer is Air Force than Army, or, say, Army MI over Army infantry?
A question for others: how much safer is Air Force than Army, or, say, Army MI over Army infantry?
You are missing an option, you son can be in the Army and not get hurt at all.
I started my military career in 1994, active duty for seven years, didn't see a day of combat, join the National Guard after leaving active duty. My guard unit got mobilized and I spent about 9 months in Baghdad, Iraq. Base on my rank and my position, I spent my whole tour inside our base. Although, a soldier was hit by a stray bullet about 10 feet away from my office window on the path that I walked everyday. Suppose if that stray bullet was about 10 feet one way, it could have went through the window and hit me or I could win the lottery on the next drawing.
My childern are not grown up yet, but everyday they are making decisions for themselves and I cannot make those decisions for them.
If you raised your son well or even if you didn't raise him well, it's time for him to make decisions for himself.
What are the precentages of young officers in the army and senior as well that do not get hurt. Like I mentioned earlier wars come and go and are not predictable, the needs of the army isn't predictable and what the next president plans on doing about ISIS and future conflicts isn't predictable. This is why I
What are the precentages of young officers in the army and senior as well that do not get hurt (my son says it depends on the branch) Like I mentioned earlier wars come and go and are not predictable, the needs of the army isn't predictable and what the next president plans on doing about ISIS and future conflicts isn't predictable. This is why the entire family fears for our son--because war and politics are not predictable kind of like the weather. You are very lucky but my boy may not be.
EDelahanty
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You started this thread with an "URGENT" notice and asked for suggestions on how to cope. However, the conditions of diabetes and high blood pressure can't have suddenly arisen because your son wants to be an Army officer. Cut down on the salt, lose some weight, do some yoga and practice meditation. Ask your doctor to prescribe appropriate medications. Learn some relaxation techniques.
All parents worry about their children, not only parents of prospective soldiers. With two jobs at the age of 62 you have stress enough. Stop worrying about what you can't control and focus on taking better care of yourself so you'll be around to witness your son's promotion to lieutenant colonel.
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-Bull-
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This is not intended in a smart a$$ tone, but what do you think? What has your research shown you?
What do YOU want to do in your life? Do you truly want to be in Military Intelligence or do you just want to tell people you're in the Army but finding the safest place to do it in? Do you want to be in the Air Force or do you want to tell people you're in the military while finding a job in a perceived "easy" branch?
Look, you either want to do it or you don't. There are certainly many jobs that will keep you from harms way, but at the end of the day the name of the game is military service. Regardless of what your job in that military is, there is a risk of ending up in a dangerous situation, and if you commission that situation will be in YOUR charge. The absolute biggest disservice to your nation and the soldiers you may lead is to not prepare yourself for that situation, even if it never happens.
You, and all candidates here, must understand that this is much bigger than a damn scholarship. It's not about your free room and board, it's not about your airborne slot, it's not about how cool your G-Shock watch is. Those are Americas sons and daughters looking at us to make decisions that will directly affect them and their families. Everyone is a part of it, from the Finance Clerk to the Infantry Officer.
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ConsulSeneca
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Understood and appreciated. And yes, I know what I want to do in the Army, and no, it's not exercitus gratis exercitus for me. If I were to do it with the scholarship, I would do it without scholarship. In fact, if I go to a school with only NROTC I would more than happily pay for tuition myself. My research has shown me that, 1 being the average rate of casualty, the Marines and Army are near 1.7, Army Reserves is around .5, the Navy around .1, and the Air Force around .05, etc.
Every job I have ever considered from childhood, without exception, has had a significant number in its ranks injured or killed. I am trying to come to terms with the risks, because whatever job I do, they will be there. But I would appreciate a better sense of what the risks are for the various Army branches, especially for reserves.
How is PTSD/VA treatment improving? Also, any words of advice for coming to terms with it all? The "freedom"/"liberty" words would make sense a lot of the time, but not always—please don't jump on me for saying this—esp. in cases where our freedom or liberty is not directly at stake, like Iraq.
Do you conduct a risk assessment on everything you do? Are you driving a big truck because it has a higher survival rate in case of an accident? Are you a vegan as non-vegans have higher risk of getting sick. Do you wear sun block and cover yourself when you are outside because your might get skin cancer? The recent conflicts had the lowest combat death rate in the history. On a side note, "West Point graduates have accounted for a higher percentage of U.S. military combat deaths in the post-9/11 war on terrorism than in all but one major American conflict since the academy’s founding in 1802." So if you want to safer, do ROTC to become an Army officer.
http://www.armytimes.com/article/20...st-Point-combat-casualties-high-post-9-11-era
am not "jumping on" you, rather trying to point out how illy you sound looking for a "safer" military position. If you want to be safe, don't joing the military.
When you become a soldier/sailor/marine, you don't only fight in a war or conflict that you agree with. For every war that you think it was worth fighting, I am sure there were people that disagreed. When our President make a decision to send us, we salute and go, regardless we agree or disagree. I didn't agree with President Bush's decision to invade Iraq, but I had no reservation when I was called up to go to Iraq. I fight for my fellow soldiers to. If I really disagreed with what our country was doing, I would have resigned as soon as I was allowed to.
If he has passion for the path...then please support him. If Army ROTC did not offer our DS a place, he would have enlisted. As a Mom, I wouldn't have chosen this path for him, but it is his path and I am proud of his choice. My support will not waiver and my prayers will be many.
nofodad
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When our DS was 15 he told us he wanted to apply for the NROTC scholarship. We were adamantly opposed. My FIL had left high school to enlist in the Navy during WWII. Our son had always wanted a career in the military ever since he was a little boy. We attended a national drill competition in Pensacola when DS was a junior and part of an NJROTC battalion at High School. We met sailors who were just a couple years older than our DS and were impressed with their poise, manner and confidence. But what really iced it for us was a cousin's son who left a prestigious University in eastern Pennsylvania, carrying a 3.75 in the second semester of his Junior year. He announced one day to his dad that he didn't need college for what he wanted to do. He left is dad on the hook for a bunch of debt and no degree to show for it (btw, quickly got his girlfriend pregnant). So we realized that our kid had a plan, unlike so many others his age, and we were getting in the way. Is the potential danger real? Yes. I surveyed my practice and asked all the patients that I had that were vets, if they had to do it again would they. To a man (even the one who was just 3 months removed from Iraq) they all said it had made them the person that they were and would not change a thing.
Agree with Bull 100% on everything he stated. As an officer, you are responsible for so much. I wasn't even 25 years old yet and leading young men and women in horrible places. To this date, it is by far the greatest job, responsibility, privilege and honor I have ever had. I know I will never be able to top that in my professional life no matter what age I am or what I do. I was not a combat arms MOS, but in the past and current conflicts that really didn't matter. Convoys, patrolling, etc were done by everyone. I saw horrific and amazing things all within the same 30 minute time span. ConsulSeneca, once you get out there and in the middle of nowhere, the "reason" we are there honestly becomes rather meaningless. You are there for the brother or sister that is on your left and right. You are there because other people made that decision and you can't worry about that part. Do not pick a Service or MOS/Branch because of risk. Pick them because that is what you are passionate about and what you think your strengths lend to. To be honest MOS has some impact of what kind of missions you will get. For MOSs that are not combat arms such as supply, logisitcs, intel, Motor T, etc (using generic terms here instead of branches or specific MOSs to cover all the services) has to do more with what unit you are assigned to. Being a supply guy with an infantry unit is much different than supply with an the air wing. Yes, the Air Force and Navy were/are probably alot less outside the wire in our conflicts. But, that doesn't mean anything. I had one of my Marines killed who had never left the wire in a mortar attack (we actually lost more Marines this way in our unit than we did any other). I have honestly lost way more friends in training than I ever did in war. The young men and women who enlist deserve the very best officers that can be produced. You have the responsibility to lead them the best way possible and to prepare them for anything your command says to.
The VA has its challenges, that is no mystery, but they have come a long way. If you need care, being persistent and vocal is key if you do not think you are getting what you need. I and many of friends all had/have some PTSD to some degree upon return. We all dealt with it different ways, but for those who were really challenged and sought care, it was there. They got the care they needed active duty and at the VA once they left. There are so many other great organizations also that exist that help with that. For alot of vets its a feeling of isolation once they leave, but joining local vet groups and just having a place where everyone understands is really comforting for alot of folks.
JS15000
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Army.Dad, you have to realize that if you continue to try to shoot your son's dream and aspiration down he is going to strongly resent you to some degree. I would if my parents did that to me. He is an MS III, so he has spent a lot of time preparing to be an Army officer. I'm sure he is well aware of the dangers that he might face in his chosen profession, and he has accepted those dangers as possibilities, yet he is still wanting to push forward with his dream. That is very noble and courageous if you ask me, and it is people like your son that make this country great. Your son has felt and responded to the call to serve, and that is something for you to be proud of as a parent.
My son is a contracted MSII. He is in the Army. He always wanted to serve... every since he was a little boy. Those of you who have those kids know what I mean. I was a combat medic with the 1st Infantry Division in Desert Storm. I understand your fears, and they may even be a bit worse because I know what he is getting into. We spent years trying to steer him down a different path.
Everything changed 3 1/2 years ago. Our perfectly healthy 15yr old daughter passed away in her sleep (un-diagnosed heart defect). It kind of changed our thinking.... You never know what day is someone's last day. I would rather my son die doing what he loves at 21 than live to 70 and be unhappy. He can just as easily die in a car wreck, in his sleep, or from food poisoning as he can from combat actions. His choice of life path puts him at greater risk... but it makes him happy. We all die eventually, so enjoy the years you get and make the most of them. (In a way, losing his sister increased his drive.. I think that he realizes life is short).
Just console yourself with the fact that he will be an officer. He is less likely to be in harms way than an enlisted soldier. This is especially true as he ranks up.
Everything changed 3 1/2 years ago. Our perfectly healthy 15yr old daughter passed away in her sleep (un-diagnosed heart defect). It kind of changed our thinking.... You never know what day is someone's last day. I would rather my son die doing what he loves at 21 than live to 70 and be unhappy. He can just as easily die in a car wreck, in his sleep, or from food poisoning as he can from combat actions. His choice of life path puts him at greater risk... but it makes him happy. We all die eventually, so enjoy the years you get and make the most of them. (In a way, losing his sister increased his drive.. I think that he realizes life is short).
Just console yourself with the fact that he will be an officer. He is less likely to be in harms way than an enlisted soldier. This is especially true as he ranks up.