Venting about parents on FB

Discussion in 'Service Academy Parents' started by Boozebin, Jul 15, 2015.

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  1. Boozebin

    Boozebin Member

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    Ok as my DS transitioned from candidate to Prep to BCT I began trolling more Facebook groups to more info of the happenings and pictures of BCT and such. Let me start off by saying I’m not a huge social media fan to begin with but what some of these parents post are killing me!

    I just read a post about a parent that said the following.

    I mean come on! how about looking at it as spending $400 to make sure you child was set up for success when it came to their college applications?

    How about wow I only had to spend $400 and my child gets a FREE education!

    How about its money well spent just in case they didn’t get into an Academy!

    I saw another post of a parent discussing buying their child those garter straps you can put on your bed sheet so they don’t slip because their child off handily mentioned in a letter that they’re sleeping on the floor so as not to mess up their bed.

    I just don’t get it. I know they miss their child I get it, hell I miss hanging out with my DS too but come on.

    Sorry turning rant off now. Just wanted to post this somewhere where people understand the military and maybe just tell me to shut the hell up and deal with it, it’s Facebook after all.
     
  2. ca2midwestmom

    ca2midwestmom Member

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    There's a lot of drama on Facebook (and most other social media too) and one-upmanships, especially when tone of voice, facial expressions and hint of sarcasm cannot be seen through the computer. My least favorite comment (at least the one that makes me chuckle) is when a parent says "We" applied/took X tests/are going through CBT. Last time I checked "I" was not in the military, my son is. I may have stood by and offered encouragement and support and definitely the $$ for the tests, but "I" did not apply/get an appointment to a SA nor did "I" make it through Beast nor am "I" worried about whether cadet's laundry is clean or if he sleeps on the floor. I'm reading about a lot of moms trying to make cadet life easy/more pleasant (by sending food during CFT when parents were told not to; asking sponsors to deliver food at CFT; showing up at WP too often to take pictures; getting in the way of training; basically doing things for their cadets that the cadets should be doing). This isn't summer camp -- too many parents are having a hard time letting go.

    Social media = shows lots of different people raising kids in different environments with difference circumstances and different values & opinions. It has its pros and cons. Pick and choose what you read/respond to.
     
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  3. fencersmother

    fencersmother Founding Member

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    booze, I totally get that!

    And you can tell those FB people that DS will be sleeping on the floor, straps or no, all the way to Recognition!

    A lot of parents, when they get those first few notes from BCT, or sometimes worse, during the academic year, are literally shocked that their DS or DD, over whom they have sweat and cried, whom they have driven thousands of miles in pursuit of the right college experience, can write home and say "I hate this place!" or "No one likes me here!" This can be especially difficult if your son or dtr was a popular kid on the fast track to success (with mom and dad patting themselves on the back).

    I will say this: it does get better! By the time your adult child is a 2*, most parents get it, and lighten up. It's like a breath of fresh air.
     
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  4. MombaBomba

    MombaBomba Member

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    Or, to perhaps look at it from another perspective

    Many of these parents have NO experience with the military. They have no idea what to expect. Some of them didn't want their kids going but are trying to find a way to show they support their kids anyways. Some of them are afraid about their kids future due to the rather tumultuous world we now live in, and thus they feel the need to do anything. Some of them miss them so much and don't want to lose them so they are trying to find a way to remain part of their kids' lives.

    Right now, it is BCT and these parents are worried, and who wouldn't be? You can find stories of serious illnesses and accidents all over the internet from BCT.

    I agree some things can go over the top. But right now, trying to find out what their basic may need and what a parent can supply them is not out of bounds. They can't ask their kid because he or she is in BCT. So they ask the only other people they can find, other parents.

    They are worried, so they need to do something, or at least try to do something or look into doing something. Keeping busy helps to pass the days until they can communicate with their child.

    The things that concern me far more are false information, intimidation and fear mongering that can appear on social media sites.
     
  5. Boozebin

    Boozebin Member

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    Thanks guys that helped me a lot. I get the missing and worry part, I worry for my DS as well. When I saw him on crutches on web guy I wondered what happened. I LMAO when he wrote me and told me he was running and didn't see a dip and stepped right into and took a tumble so bad that his cadre couldn't help but laugh before asking if he was ok. But when I saw the picture it didn't make me want to run out get him a nice knee brace and think OMG are they taking care of him or call the AFA to see if he's ok.

    I was just struggling very much with the few (not a lot but enough to notice and bug me) parents that what I felt were trying to DO it for their Basic. It got under my skin a little bit.

    Special thanks to MombaBomba for giving me a perspective I can somewhat understand and help me shift/modify my paradigm.
     
  6. ca2midwestmom

    ca2midwestmom Member

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    Agreed MombaBomba ... but these aren't just Plebe (first year) parents hovering. It seems to hit the parents hardest when it's the first/oldest/only child leaving the nest, whether or not there are other kids at home. And I get that -- but maybe I've forgotten what that felt like as my cadet is my youngest of three. It wasn't as much of a shock to me when he left for CBT (for reasons other than his birth order).
     
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  7. MombaBomba

    MombaBomba Member

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    Mine was the youngest, and it was more difficult than my eldest for a number of reasons. The sudden cut off in communication, not knowing the military at all (non-military family), and being so far away.

    I get that. Some parents can definitely take it way too far! If you go to parents weekend, just wait till you hear the AOC or AMT lecture the visiting parents on NOT calling the AOC and AMT about their kid. Some of the examples given for calls....wow! We also heard of parents contacting their cadet's teachers or the head of the academic department over poor grades. Holy cow! That to me is going out of bounds. Some parents have started petitions to get something changed/challenged at the academy on behalf of their kids. Again, way out of bounds. My son would cut me off if I ever did any of that.

    Wait till you start seeing some of the pissing contests parents can get into over whose kid is doing better/more/working harder/etc.. But that usually doesn't start until the academic year begins.
     
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  8. Pima

    Pima Parent

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    I agree 1000%.

    I can actually top the parent thing. This occurred at an F15E base. In the AF rated officers get a call sign. This occurs at a naming ceremony after they become operational. Hold on to your seat, and please swallow any food or beverage before reading anything further.

    So after one of these naming ceremonies, the hubby comes home and tells his wife his call sign. His wife was horrified. She, being a Princeton grad and an attorney immediately drafted a legal letter to the Wing Commander stating basically in legal terms that if his name was not changed she would start a class action lawsuit. OBTW he was an O2.
    ~ No answer from the Wing King, but the gossip mill started. Needless to say when his Squadron Commander was contacted by the King about who is this guy, that was how the gossip mill started because everybody now knew his wife did this.
    ~~ On Sunday at church they walked in. It was all eyes on them. Every guy turned to their wife and elbowed her....that's them!

    So now he goes up for a flight and had a bad flight. Every pilot does. He came home and told her. Guess what arrived via mail on the Wing Kings desk? A new letter with legal threats. She told him that her DH was now being penalized because of her and that was illegal.

    The Wing King to subdue her decided that every single pilot/CSO had to go through a renaming ceremony. If any of their old call signs had a hint of politically incorrect they must get a new name.

    To this day, my Strike Eagle friends still talk about him and his wife. We always say that top s Lt. X's wife. That wife made us old wives ROFL. Hurricane Floyd was coming straight towards NC. Our friend was a flight commander and on a Sunday he recalled everyone into the squadron to take the jets to safety. She answered the phone. He asks for her DH. She says to him it is Sunday and he does not work on weekends! :eek: His response was OH YES he does, get him on the phone now. Her response, he is mowing our lawn, and we have church at 3, he will call you at 5 when we return.:eek:. He finally said to her either you get him on the phone right now or his career is over. There were alot of F bombs being dropped byy him at that point.
    ~ From that point on some Pilots and WSOs were being called SNAPS and SNAWS. Sensitive New Age Pilots and WSOs.
     
  9. MombaBomba

    MombaBomba Member

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    OMG! I am always (though I shouldn't be at this point) amazed at how spouses can sabotage the career of their husband or wife.

    So 2 questions: What is an O2? I assume this is some type of officer
    What was the politically incorrect call sign?

    This story made me think of the Big Bang Theory episode where Walowitz got his call sign of "fruit loops" as an astronaut :biggrin:
     
  10. Boozebin

    Boozebin Member

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    Thanks for the heads up! I'll start preparing myself now!

    O2 = 1st LT.


    I'm with MombaBomba on this one, PIMA spill the beans I'm way to curious not to know!
     
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  11. Capt MJ

    Capt MJ Member

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    Some great stories here, and the lure of sea story telling is too great. When I was a USNA BattO, I and my peer BattO's compared notes on parent calls and emails.
    One dad, a WP grad, called me and introduced himself as "Colonel," (found out later he was a Lieutenant Colonel, major phone etiquette error), verbally abused me because I hadn't forwarded his DS for Brigade position interviews. He told me he had raised his son to be a leader at the highest level, and that clearly I had no leadership skills myself. DS had overlooked sharing with parents some performance missteps (failed PFTs) that put him out of consideration. Good mid who recovered from his mistakes and did well as a leader at company level.
    Of course, Privacy Act considerations preclude revealing any conduct, performance or similar information to parents unless mid/cadet has signed a release. When we got these calls, we immediately logged into MIDS to look up what the mid had elected, while mom or dad was hammering us.
    A mid mom called me, cursing me because DS was not coming home for Thanksgiving break, airline tickets were bought, and he had told her I had denied him leave "for no reason." DS had omitted mentioning his major alcohol-related conduct offense and being on restriction. I could not tell her why, but told her I would speak with her son and clear things up. I pulled him in with a chaplain, told him I couldn't order him to call his mom, but I would appreciate his help in calming his mom down. Thank God for chaplains, who know how to counsel mids on tough conversations with family. DS had the tough conversation, and the tearful call ended well.
    Just a day in the life.
    As has often been said on here, you taught them to fly, now let them soar. We should also add, let them figure out the bumpy landings and rough flights too.
     
  12. Pima

    Pima Parent

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    An O2 in the AF is 1st Lt. You make O2 at the 2 year marker.

    AF callsign ceremonies can be brutal. I will not disclose that persons callsign, but I will spill on some others. It was not sexual or anything like that, but it was not done with love either. That is how the system works. It is a constant tease. 6'5 and your callsign might be Lurch or Chewie. Play on your name.

    First know that every squadron in their bar has Mugs that hang on the wall. Non-named use the FNG ones. F***ing New Guy/Gal. Once named you pay to get your mug/stein.

    Secondly, everybody back then would wear a friday name patch. It was your callsign. Not the traditional real name with your wings.

    Here are my favorite stories to show how brutal they can be.
    ~ Tumor.
    ~~ Because every IP felt that they would rather have a brain Tumor before they flew with them
    ~ Zero
    ~~ Because they got a 0 on their Mission Qual (MQ) ride.
    ~ Homer
    ~~ In the AF the only callsign that cannot be changed (old days) was a PACAF one.
    ~~~ Another wife story. She arrived as an O4 wife and prior to the naming ceremony she told every wife that her DH had a callsign of Spitz, and nobody would or could ever change it since he was a Major. Of course because she rubbed the wives wrong with her attitude, they told their husbands. This was in AK. At the naming ceremony somebody stood up and said the only thing that Spits in AK is Homer (a town). Yep, that was his new callsign.
    ~ Tuna
    ~~ He argued in the debrief with an IP that had 2000 operational hours in the 15E. He had 0 or aka none. Thu, 2 to None...Tuna.

    Our best friend in the entire world got the callsign Tanks. Most people think it is because he flew A-10s before converting to the 15Es. That is not why. During his MQ check ride, he radio'd back that he was low on fuel and had to return without completing the flight. When he got back the maintenance guys informed them that he didn't switch the tanks...hence Tanks.

    I could go all day. I know my DSs callsign. Our last name would have given them tons of names to use. However, the squadron decided to call him something else because without knowing he keeps repeating the same phrase.

    OBTW, in some AF communities there is also a wives naming ceremony. My name is PIMA due to a story about a fight I had with Bullet. Short story, I called him anal. He said I was a Pain in My A** Hence now you know why I am PIMA.
     
  13. Pima

    Pima Parent

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    As I read your stories, I thought my MIL was over the top, G*D rest her soul, but she was silent compared to your stories.

    Here is my personal favorite, My life.

    Bullet was pinning on and we had been married for 10 years (3 kids). She travels to the promotion ceremony. Tells me at the dinner table the night before his pin on, that without her he would not be there. Her logic was paid for college.
    ~ Good Daughter In Law/ Good AF wife...bite your tongue, shut up and color!

    The day of his pin on to O4. They reserve seats for immediate family. We had 5 in the font row, 2 in the 2nd. One seat was dedicated to Bullet, leaving only 4 in the front row. She walked in the room and sat in the 1st row. Our kids were 8, 6 and 4. Because of that I had to place my 2 oldest in the front row and sat in the 2nd with our youngest.

    This is not a new phenom. This has been happening for decades.

    In the end, now as an AF pilots Mom, I feel I am a better Mom. I feel that my DS knows I will always be there, but I cut the apron strings. My job right now is to allow his wife to be his rock. My job is to remind him when it is a bad day that he loves his job, and everyone screwed up somewhere along the path....even Colin Powell. It is what you do after the screw up that matters.
     
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  14. Boozebin

    Boozebin Member

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    Better man than me! I guess in my old age I've become grumpier I need to take leads from all of you and just let it roll off. And what's funny about those stories are that the DS/DD didn't tell the whole story which spun a parent up.

    Haven't seen Bullet on in a while ask him to come on and tell his naming story!
     
  15. Pima

    Pima Parent

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    Bullet very rarely posts anymore. The 35 keeps him pretty busy since they are transitioning now from schoolhouse too Operational.
     
  16. Boozebin

    Boozebin Member

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    Figured as much. See if he's cool with letting you tell his story! I find it a bit cool to hear the stories of the ones you "know" than about others.:)
     
  17. Pima

    Pima Parent

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    He may be my one and only true love, but that is his life story to share publicly, not mine. Just like I will not share my DSs call sign publicly. Nor the one AF officer with his Princeton wife.
     
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  18. Capt MJ

    Capt MJ Member

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    My husband's Navy call sign referred to the shape of his nose, a most respectable raptor. My brother-in-law's call sign was the nickname of his city of birth. A sponsor daughter's was the name of a famous local zoo animal, which related to a training pipeline "incident." It's an art and a science. And never one you can choose yourself, most likely!
    Ok, I have contributed to enough thread-unraveling here.
     
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  19. Pima

    Pima Parent

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    Love how we moved from FB venting to callsigns!
     
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  20. Boozebin

    Boozebin Member

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    Trust me it make for a much better thread! And since I'm the OP and I don't mind please carry on!!!!
     
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