So you WEREN'T MARRIED? Correct?
No marriage, I assume no children. Your perspective regarding an AD member is based from a military member without dependents.
This explains a lot regarding your position because you never left a spouse behind who had the AC die in the house the day after you left. Or the day after you left your 15 mos child was diagnosed with croop and she had to sleep on the floor to make sure they didn't stop breathing. You never had to experience hiding the fact from your children your own fears, that there will be a knock on the door. You never had to experience filling out a form from the squadron that is created only for the what if scenario. You never had to think about how your choice to serve had impact on those who truly love you, not because they gave birth to you, but because they fell in love with you.
I had a very successful career that I gave up for Bullet. I do not regret it in the least bit. His career allowed me to stay at home, but his career also meant that I was alone at home without him. I sat in a church pew without him when our youngest received a holy sacrament. Our children paid the price for his dream.
I walked down the aisle knowing Bullet could die, I accepted that. I got the fact that I would be the mistress and the military was his wife. Excuse me for not thinking about how it would effect my life and our kids lives. Sorry, I didn't get when I had him put that engagement ring on my finger I didn't comprehend he would miss 80% of their halloweens, or that for Thanksgiving I would be celebrating it with friends, no husband or family. NOBODY gave me that note.
A. Hardships will occur. No argument --- remind me again why the hardship occurs...did the spouse know how often it would occur when she said I do?
B. Service families will have to suck it up. No argument--- can you remind me again when the baby said I want to not see my Mom or Dad for a yr? Can you also tell me why I was so stupid not to think about this when I walked down the aisle? Did I miss a V-8 moment?
C. Spouse NOT willing to do it and the service member should separate or divorce illustrates you have never been truly in love.
Have to ask Sprog what branch you were in? The AF is one branch that has always placed family on the priority list, your comment of "The military is not a family services agency", they have done a great job of combining military life and family life. My family is not only blood relations, but also the military. Actually, I have spent more holidays, birthdays, special occasions with them then my own family.
One other question, you stated you were command/leadership position, if you have that family is a non player mentality, how did you feel when someone in your command called in and said won't be at work today my wife had our baby?
Finally, just because I believe Bullet would never cheat on me, that doesn't mean I am so ignorant or arrogant to believe it is not an issue in other marriages. I am a wife who spent 20 yrs as an AD spouse, trust me it isn't nonsense in everyone's mind. Nonsense to you and me, maybe, but there will be at least one marriage that this is an issue. Thus, it can become a bigger issue at sea. The enlisted member will show issues and it will trickle up. It will become an issue on a sub with only 150+/- members. Everyone will know about it. Heck one member sneezes and the whole sub says G Bless you, but you believe that a marital issue will never bubble up.
If you do, I have a great piece of land in Florida, granted you will need to bring in truck loads of dirt because of the water table, and you might need special permits due to environmental issues, but just trust me you will be the first and because of that you will reap tons of money. OBTW don't worry the crocs will leave as soon as you start building!
Finally, NO SPOUSE wants a
COOKIE, we want love and respect. I am sorry you see spouses like dogs. Bullet and I give
cookies to our dogs for going to the bathroom outside. That is their reward for following our house rules, thanks for lowering military spouses to level of a dog.: