@CrabbittMom She has contacted them twice with no response. Seems like a few in her squad aren't using this resource. I have heard wonderful things about sponsor relationships!Has your DD utilized her sponsor family at all? It’s a great break to get away on Sunday’s and reset the brain for the next weeks adventures. (assuming they’re not on restriction of course). They can also stop by during the week days and bring snacks or just chat.
Exhausted Doolie Parent
- Thread starter HOPE0204
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@Devil Doc Love the advice, and thank you. I leave her alone always unless she calls me. I never know what I am going to get when she does call. She will and should make her own decisions; it's her life. I take opportunities when I can to give bits of advice in a very covert way or ask her what she thinks and keep on listening.
@justdoit19 Thank you! It is nice to know she has a cheering section that she is not even aware of, but I am sure she feels it!!
@LT360 This means more than you know! Thank you for this awesome post of encouragement and affirmation! We said the elephant bite thing a lot in high school. I should start using it again, and it is such a great choice of words for getting something done. She has the countdown on until Thanksgiving!!
As a 22er, it is always sad when a cadet here feels lonely and depressed, especially doolie year. But unfortunately, that is a very common feeling for doolies. Since her sponsor family isn't responding, I'd encourage her to tag along with a close friend to theirs. Ultimately, despite the negative and stressful environment, by design, I'd encourage her to use this time to get closer to her friends or even make some. There are a lot of fun things on base, like bowling or even hiking. Now that they aren't restricted I'm sure her life is looking much better. But if she does need someone to talk to, I recommend talking to the Chaplins or even MFLC.
Hmmm....don't seam to recall seeing a bowling alley at USNA. I will have to ask DS.
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Not sure if its still there but there used to be a bowling alley under Bancroft Hall, not far from the Midstore and near the Pistol Range (Third Wing).Hmmm....don't seam to recall seeing a bowling alley at USNA. I will have to ask DS.
WT Door
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It's long gone.
USAFAGradMom
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Hmm... I've been a sponsor mom for the past 8 years. Since sponsor families VOLUNTEER for this role and WANT to share their homes with cadets, I think there's something wrong if your DD tells you she has contacted her sponsor family & not gotten any response from them. Either your DD is not being completely honest with you or perhaps the contact information she received is incorrect. If she WANTS a sponsor family (not all cadets do), she can contact the sponsor office at cadet.sponsor@usafa.edu to ask that THEY contact her assigned sponsor family to let them know she has been unable to reach them OR she can request to be reassigned to a new family. We had a group of doolies over this past weekend who were feeling very exhausted & homesick. After a weekend of relaxing, having home-cooked meals, venting their frustrations with us/each other and taking much needed long naps, they all left feeling energized & ready to tackle the week ahead!
@Falcon_22 She's feeling more anxiety and panic atttacks (stress management which is key I think to survival there) than lonely although feeling that no one is listening indicates loneliness. Think I am talking in circles. I think tagging along and keeping efforts with friends there is great advice. She has been to the bowling alley a couple of times
. She has been talking to the Chaplain, PPC (or whatever), and MFLC so that is good. Thank you!@USAFAGradMom ok thanks.
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Another possibility, which I have observed with the USNA sponsor program - people sign up with the best of intentions, but realize the commitment, logistics and effort, especially during the first year, are incompatible with their own family schedules and desires. Sadly, ghosting occurs. We’ve gained many an “orphan” in our family that way. One plebe’s sponsor said we’d love to see you, but we don’t have time to come get you or bring you back, take an Uber; they also lived at the outer limit of the plebe sponsor circle around Annapolis. Another family realized their own kids’ sports schedules would not support them doing it. Yet another wanted to raise their children bilingually and biculturally, so on the weekends, no English was allowed to be spoken in the home, and only the other country’s snacks and food were available. Oh, and there was the sponsor who expected free babysitting, expecting to leave their kids in the care of the plebe while they went out. It’s one thing if that develops naturally, but another as an expectation.
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TLR2025
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I am disappointed to hear there has been no communication between them. When we visited my cadet’s sponsor family during PW (we did not know them), they made it clear they wish they could be assigned about 2-3 more cadets. The “dad” teaches aviation at USAFA and the “mom” works for INTEL. If you’d be interested in contacting the sponsor program, I can message you their name and maybe the sponsor program could contact them. I know it “should” be handled by your DD but last week there was a similar post on our class page and the admin told the parent to email the sponsor program.
My DS is a C4C at USAFA. He said what’s helping him survive is surrounding himself with cadets who also have a positive attitude. Negativity breeds negativity. Tell your DD to find others who lift her up. I’m sure it doesn’t help her spirit to be around others who are bringing her down. My DS said being a cadet at USAFA is the hardest thing he’s ever experienced, but he wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. Hold on mom, only 148 days till recognition and then things will ease up for both you and your DD.
@TLR2025 It seems like things happen like @Capt MJ mentioned, and then there are also sponsors that want more cadets. I am sure this is all hard to manage, and thanks for the offer. She seems too overhwhelmed to deal with it, and has been able to get off base with friends. I think the sponsor program is so cool. I would love it if she had another resource, but not sure it is in the cards now. Thanks for the offer. I will keep this offer in mind
.@Irish6 holding on and positivity is the name of the game! She will make it through this semester, and hoping she will come back to give it a chance through Recognition. Time will tell!!
SpiritCommitteeLiaison
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If your cadet isn't able to contact their sponsor family and would like a new one, they can always email cadet.sponsor@usafa.edu and explain the situation. Note that the sponsor office will not act on emails from parents. It has to come from the cadet.
Back in the day at USAFA (80's) the time between Parent's Weekend and Christmas break was known as the dark ages. I wonder if they still call it that. At Parent's Weekend as a Doolie I walked down the Chapel ramp to the Terrazzo, leaving my parents at the top of the ramp, with upperclassmen playing "I'll be Home for Christmas" loudly from their rooms. My mother for years claimed it was the cruelest thing she ever experienced. It wasn't fun. But it wasn't a surprise. Good luck to all!!!
