“Promote ahead of peers”

That's crazy... there's nothing about "what to do when a joe is attacked by a racoon he used to blow into a breathalyzer while being too drunk to drive" in the ranger handbook.

Must be NCO business, I'd just pass it down the chain of command.
 
Jarhead713 said:
That's crazy... there's nothing about "what to do when a joe is attacked by a racoon he used to blow into a breathalyzer while being too drunk to drive" in the ranger handbook.

Must be NCO business, I'd just pass it down the chain of command.
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Just wait… you will encounter stuff this extreme as a young Lt. It makes life entertaining. You and your fellow Lts will sit around drinking beers on a Friday night wondering what the heck! Also, you will get JAGMANs with this kind of amazing stuff! The secret is they don’t tell us about this during TBS or BOLC… or we would all run away. Just a few…

1 - we had a Mid drunk on the golf course fight a raccoon and have to spend time in the hospital for rabies stuff. Don’t fight animals drunk.
2 - I got a phone call on an early Sunday morning asking what to do with a male LCpl who was caught red handed stealing women’s underwear in the barracks. He had 100s found in his room.
3 - A Sgt reported to the SgtMaj that his LCpl was sleeping with his wife. Come to find out, the Sgt had invited him into a three-some and then the wife preferred the LCpl.
4 - A married LCpl got knocked up by a married MSgt.
5 - A LCpl ended up being a major gun runner. He went to Leavenworth for a long time
6- LCpl set himself on fire
7 - LCpl killed another LCpl after fighting over a DVD.

That was just 1 year as a legal officer. This doesn’t include the regular run of the mill stuff either. Our CO and XO were actually assigned JAGMANs also as they were investigation officers in other commands.
 
I'll play ....

I was Legal Officer in my squadron, so I had plenty of experience with dumba$$ stories, but the funniest (?) I ever heard was when I was attending the Navy's Legal Officer School in Newport. We had a female Marine Major , former Military Judge, teaching one of the classes, and she kept hinting that maybe she would tell us the story about the wierdest case she handled. Finally, near the end of the three week course, we were all out at a local watering hole, and she had a few ...and told us the story of the young enlisted Marine (of course ..)who appeared before her on charges that he was attempting to (um how do I put this more tactfully than Major did --she was pretty salty !) engage in sexual relations with the tail pipe of a vehicle in the motor pool.

I had one young Airman who was always in trouble.. He was a good kid, but his brains were below his waist. I remember sitting down with him after yet another mast and telling him I'd buy him a beer if he made it through his enlistment.

My favorite was a young female Airman in my Division after I turned over Legal Officer . She was continuously in trouble for petty things, always bucking the system. When she protested the evaluation with a do not promote recommendation, Skipper directed me to look deeper into her background -- she had 3+ years of ROTC at a good college in her record, so I called the ROTC unit and spoke with an officer there who looked up her record - her evaluations there (which resulted in her being dropped from the program right before commissioning) were almost identical to what I had written in the eval., something along the lines of "inability to conform to military standards.." Her performance and conduct got worse over time, and at one point got court martialed for threatening the Legal Officer. (She declined Mast). Last I heard of her, I had to prepare the response to a congressional inquiry -- she had written her Congressman complaining that she was being held in the Philly Brig "against her will." I think I started my response to the Congressman's office with "Most people in the Brig are held against their will....but here's why Airman ___ is there...:"
 
NavyHoops said:
Just wait… you will encounter stuff this extreme as a young Lt. It makes life entertaining. You and your fellow Lts will sit around drinking beers on a Friday night wondering what the heck! Also, you will get JAGMANs with this kind of amazing stuff! The secret is they don’t tell us about this during TBS or BOLC… or we would all run away. Just a few…

1 - we had a Mid drunk on the golf course fight a raccoon and have to spend time in the hospital for rabies stuff. Don’t fight animals drunk.
2 - I got a phone call on an early Sunday morning asking what to do with a male LCpl who was caught red handed stealing women’s underwear in the barracks. He had 100s found in his room.
3 - A Sgt reported to the SgtMaj that his LCpl was sleeping with his wife. Come to find out, the Sgt had invited him into a three-some and then the wife preferred the LCpl.
4 - A married LCpl got knocked up by a married MSgt.
5 - A LCpl ended up being a major gun runner. He went to Leavenworth for a long time
6- LCpl set himself on fire
7 - LCpl killed another LCpl after fighting over a DVD.

That was just 1 year as a legal officer. This doesn’t include the regular run of the mill stuff either. Our CO and XO were actually assigned JAGMANs also as they were investigation officers in other commands.
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You got off fairly easily. I know of legal O's who had far "busier" years.

Then of course there was the time that OldRetSWO who was onboard for duty as assistant CDO got summoned to the duty phone at 2AM for a call from the CO and was dispatched to bail out the Legal O who was in jail for knocking down a light pole into a car dealership while driving drunk and when bailed out, was still wearing his Halloween costume (clown) including facepaint. To this day, I still do not know how Mrs. Legal O (apparently costumed as a French Maid) got home but she was there when I dropped Legal O back at his abode.
 
NavyHoops said:
Just wait… you will encounter stuff this extreme as a young Lt. It makes life entertaining. You and your fellow Lts will sit around drinking beers on a Friday night wondering what the heck! Also, you will get JAGMANs with this kind of amazing stuff! The secret is they don’t tell us about this during TBS or BOLC… or we would all run away. Just a few…

1 - we had a Mid drunk on the golf course fight a raccoon and have to spend time in the hospital for rabies stuff. Don’t fight animals drunk.
2 - I got a phone call on an early Sunday morning asking what to do with a male LCpl who was caught red handed stealing women’s underwear in the barracks. He had 100s found in his room.
3 - A Sgt reported to the SgtMaj that his LCpl was sleeping with his wife. Come to find out, the Sgt had invited him into a three-some and then the wife preferred the LCpl.
4 - A married LCpl got knocked up by a married MSgt.
5 - A LCpl ended up being a major gun runner. He went to Leavenworth for a long time
6- LCpl set himself on fire
7 - LCpl killed another LCpl after fighting over a DVD.

That was just 1 year as a legal officer. This doesn’t include the regular run of the mill stuff either. Our CO and XO were actually assigned JAGMANs also as they were investigation officers in other commands.
Click to expand...
Oh yesssss
 
OldRetSWO said:
You got off fairly easily. I know of legal O's who had far "busier" years.

Then of course there was the time that OldRetSWO who was onboard for duty as assistant CDO got summoned to the duty phone at 2AM for a call from the CO and was dispatched to bail out the Legal O who was in jail for knocking down a light pole into a car dealership while driving drunk and when bailed out, was still wearing his Halloween costume (clown) including facepaint. To this day, I still do not know how Mrs. Legal O (apparently costumed as a French Maid) got home but she was there when I dropped Legal O back at his abode.
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More yessss

Note it’s just not your enlisted folks. Oh no.
 
Jarhead713 said:
That's crazy... there's nothing about "what to do when a joe is attacked by a racoon he used to blow into a breathalyzer while being too drunk to drive" in the ranger handbook.

Must be NCO business, I'd just pass it down the chain of command.
Click to expand...
You will be in the thick of it, since you are accountable and responsible for your people.
 
DS has only been at his ship coming up on a year now and he already has a few pretty funny stories.
 
Wife was XO but acting CO of a basic training unit. The CO of the unit was out for a while with a back injury. She got a letter addressed to the CO of A-###, so she opened it. It was a letter addressed to the CO from a former basic trainee asking why he wasn’t paying child support for their child. CO was married to someone else. So officers aren’t immune.
Of course there’s the case I’ve related in the past of the call I got from the duty NCO. A private was arrested by the MPs for shooting a compound bow in the barracks quad. Deer season was coming up, so she put a deer target in the quad and used the outdoor stairs as an improvised deer stand. She would holler at soldiers scared to cross over “What are ya’ll scared of? I ain’t gonna miss!” She was “kinda country”, from some deep woods of West Virginia. Real proud of the fancy bow she could afford on E-3 pay. At her Article 15 her defense was that there was no regulation against a compound bow in the barracks. Sure enough… that changed the same day.
 
“On deployment” stories deserve their own category.

For your reading and research enjoyment, the “Grampaw Pettibone” collection of stupid naval aviation safety incidents over decades.

These are self-reported, hilariously written lesson learned stories.

Grampaw Pettibone Collection

Grampaw Pettibone Collection
www.history.navy.mil www.history.navy.mil
 
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Capt MJ said:
Note it’s just not your enlisted folks. Oh no.
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No -- Officers aren't immune. JO pilot on deployment in Rota Spain decides (under the influence of course) to jump off raised sidewalk and land on the canvas awning in front of store front. Pro-tip -those awnings aren't designed to catch a human size weight ! Pro-tip #2 - don't do stupid things in front of Guardia Civil. However, if you are going to violate those two pro-tips, make sure you are a golden boy. Said JO was quickly advised of the error or his ways, took responsibility, and paid the damages, and twas a mere blip on an otherwise good record. Retired as a Captain . (He passed away a couple years ago..way too young). I'm guessing that type of thing would be career ending these days.
 
Capt MJ said:
For your reading and research enjoyment, the “Grampaw Pettibone” collection of stupid navel aviation safety incidents over decades.
Click to expand...
Now I'm going to spend all afternoon reading Grandpaw Pettibone stories...they are great !
 
How about an O3 Navy Pilot, deployed overseas who comes back to the base...under the weather...guards would not let him in...so he jumps the fence...and of course doesn't make it. An O3!
 
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