Basic Question about DS leaving home.

Pima,

Your math is correct, I do have two freshman this year. All of the points you made will be here in four short years. I have been thinking about convincing my wife to join this forum for the wonderful support system here. This forum was very helpful for my son when he was navigating through the ROTC HSSP scholarship process. I believe the help he received here greatly aided his success in receiving his scholarship. And now that he has started down this path, I can see how it will aid us as parents in knowing what to expect during this journey. Thanks again to all the great advice from all the helpful posters.
 
I would convince her especially now that he is starting a new path in life that the two of you have no prior connection to in your personal life.

Little things come up that are foreign to parents and this site is a great asset to understand the system of what the cadets/mids go through each yr. Every child somewhere along their ROTC career will have stressful times, that they feel are the make or break. Parents want to be supportive, but IMPO if they don't understand why, they tend to do 1 of two things.
1. HELO around the child, frustrating the child
2. Downplay it and also frustrating the child.

Your DS will come home talking in acronyms. This site will allow you to have a conversation without asking him to remind you what exactly is an OML and how does it work?

Finally as a parent it will also soothe your fears, because nobody, not your friends or family understands your concerns or can answer questions like posters here. ROTC is part of college, and it is not the same compared to traditional non-ROTC students. We are here to always support you, and if we can't help, 9 times out of 10 we know where exactly you should go to find that assistance.

Good luck.
 
Best wishes to all the DDs and DSs going back to school soon

And also to all the family members. I think I am on the other side of things. My son commissioned in May. In a few of weeks I will fly down to Benning for IBOLC graduation. Hopefully no issues til then. DS is doing very well. He likes his captain. I have not seen him since May. Thank God for cell phones. There is a ceremony where a family member or friend puts a Blue Chord around his shoulder. It has been an Infantry symbol since a battle in the Mexican war. Girlfriend will do that. I am starting to defer to her on many things and very happy about that. 4 days with him then he has Ranger school. Very little contact with him during that until November.

Good luck to all
 
Congrats to your DS Norwich.

Bullet and I too are on the other side of things with you. We started the hand off at his commissioning this past May, GF pinned on his butter bars, Bullet swore him in, and I watched it beaming ear to ear in between the tears. Honestly I was glad she did, it was comforting to know he has her in his life.

The hard part for me right now is not him leaving for UPT. It is the fact that he is going to NJ to say goodbye to my Mom, Bullet's parents and his aunts and uncles, knowing that he won't see them for probably close to 18-24 months. That's when it really hit me this is his life now and life as we were used to is not life as it will be in the future.

I don't dwell on those things though. I think about all of the great experiences Bullet and I will get to enjoy by seeing new parts of the world...granted Del Rio TX is not my dream vacation spot, but San Antonio is 3 hrs away, and I hear the River Walk is wonderful.

That's the thing. You have a choice, dwell on what you are losing, or embrace what you are gaining.

Your choice. JMPO, I choose the latter.
 
Pima said:
Congrats to your DS Norwich.

Bullet and I too are on the other side of things with you. We started the hand off at his commissioning this past May, GF pinned on his butter bars, Bullet swore him in, and I watched it beaming ear to ear in between the tears. Honestly I was glad she did, it was comforting to know he has her in his life.

The hard part for me right now is not him leaving for UPT. It is the fact that he is going to NJ to say goodbye to my Mom, Bullet's parents and his aunts and uncles, knowing that he won't see them for probably close to 18-24 months. That's when it really hit me this is his life now and life as we were used to is not life as it will be in the future.

I don't dwell on those things though. I think about all of the great experiences Bullet and I will get to enjoy by seeing new parts of the world...granted Del Rio TX is not my dream vacation spot, but San Antonio is 3 hrs away, and I hear the River Walk is wonderful.

That's the thing. You have a choice, dwell on what you are losing, or embrace what you are gaining.

Your choice. JMPO, I choose the latter.
Click to expand...

This is so true. Embrace what you are gaining. I see many of his friends from high school struggling now. With this economy it is so hard for them to find employment and direction. Make no mistake this is serious business with risks. I guess all things worthwhile have risks.

What you will see as they progress through ROTC, then after commissioning is the purpose, focus and confidence they can gain. I think DS can do anything in or out of the Army now. There are those tear fulled moments. But it can be an amazing ride!!

And congrats to you and Bullet with your son. Has always sounded like a great kid.

Thanks to both of you for your insight which has been very helpful to me over the years.
 
This site has been a gift to me. I have been with Bullet through his AFROTC yrs, UNT, and 21 yrs AD(F-15E WSO), plus now his 2nd career GS (AF F-35). 28 yrs together.

Even with living the life as a dependent spouse, it is different when it is your child. Our families get the AF life because they lived it with us, but they don't get it as ROTC parents since their kids are not in ROTC.

They don't understand "contracting". They don't understand how a broken bone or not so perfect vision can matter. Let's not even go down the road of SFT selection or OML's, let alone how a PFT can be a make or break regarding a scholarship. Or even worse commitment time owed, and that your child has no voice in the equation...."surely he doesn't have to go to Korea?" No, surely he does have to go if the military says go! Those are the inevitable questions you are asked by anyone close to you.

They see ROTC scholarship as merit, and explaining to them the ins and outs of how it works is painful because it goes up and over their craniums.

This site is a place you find people that GET IT. You don't need to argue with them about the stress as a parent worrying about your child not only academically, but also ROTC too.

We lived this life as an ADAF couple, but that doesn't mean we were different than a non-military family and had the answers when DS left for college. We didn't have the answers, posters here guided us every step of the way yr by yr.

Posters answered questions that seemed stupid, and reminded us that there was no stupid question. We held each other up when we were afraid or times were bad. We rejoiced in any poster's good news.

I really hope that FlyingWildcatDad, will get his wife to just read this one thread.
 
Will do. Right now she has been keeping herself busy getting ready for our trip next weekend to Lexington to take a few things we forgot/he needs before K Week and then his regular schedule begins. She is actually doing pretty good now in anticipation of our trip. This will be the last trip we take to Lexington until Family Weekend in October, so I bet the tears will start again after next Sunday when she has to say good bye again. Thanks again for all the support and helpful information.
 
For their freshman yr it is all about playing mind games to get you through it. Instead of thinking it will be October the next time she sees him, have her say to her self it is only about 6 weeks. 6 weeks sounds better than October when you are in the month of August.

Same is true for Columbus Day regarding Thanksgiving, but in reverse, next month you will see him, do not think of it as 7 weeks from now.

Trust me every parent feels the same way, and by Columbus day they are not only accustomed to the lack of noise, but are fine with it.

I remember when my kids were toddlers and my neighbor said OMG next week is Spring break (elementary age) kill me now. I thought how horrible to hate the fact that your children will be home with you. I got it when my 3 kids were in elementary school! :wink:

Same for now, her lifestyle will change and it will become easier and easier each time she says goodbye. Like I said before come next yr, or his jr. yr you will have him do a shoulder roll out of the car or send him back with his own car because you guys will not want to do the 8 hr round trip drive to move him in. :biggrin:
 
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