Candidate Statement Questions

Discussion in 'Military Academy - USMA' started by BryceBryceBaby, Aug 29, 2017.

  1. BryceBryceBaby

    BryceBryceBaby USMA 2022

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2016
    Messages:
    28
    Likes Received:
    20
    On the prompt that asks "Compose your own responses. In the space below, explain why you want to attend the United States Military Academy and serve on active duty as an Army officer.", should I elaborate some on why USMA should want me as a cadet rather than solely why I want to go to USMA like it asks? I'm asking this because I know someone who graduated from West Point and that's what he did on this essay.

    Also, should the essays be more concise and straightforward, even if my natural writing style is more elaborate? Someone I know who works in ROTC admissions suggested this, so I was wanting a second opinion.

    Thanks.
     
    lpk5 likes this.
  2. brovol

    brovol Member

    Joined:
    May 26, 2015
    Messages:
    1,612
    Likes Received:
    1,493
    I would stay focused on the question you are asked. I suspect there is a way to backdoor a little self promotion within your response though. For example, you could respond that you want to attend WP and become an Army officer in order to satisfy your strong patriotic drive and commitment to serve, as well as utilize your abilities, academic and leadership, in a way where you accomplish something greater than any "traditional " college could provide. Essentially you are doing the Roman thing by tooting your own horn, but also responding to the question. In that regard, if you feel there are things which make you more desireable to USMA, you may want to mention those things, carefully, in your answers. You don't want to come across as arrogant. But if, as another example, you are fantastic in math, and scored a 36 on ACT in math, you may want to mention that you want WP because it is perhaps the finest engineering school in the country, and you want to take advantage of your math abilities in a way which also allows you to serve your country by leading soldiers. But always respond to the question asked.
     
  3. BryceBryceBaby

    BryceBryceBaby USMA 2022

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2016
    Messages:
    28
    Likes Received:
    20
    Thank you so much. Very helpful information. Would you mind giving your opinion on the second question also? Thanks.
     
  4. brovol

    brovol Member

    Joined:
    May 26, 2015
    Messages:
    1,612
    Likes Received:
    1,493
    Clarity is essential to any written product, so always be to the point. Never "over-write" by trying to sound like Shakespeare. And keep in mind that these essays have character limitations. Having said that, if you have a nice style with your writing then show it off a bit; being careful not to go overboard.

    My son, who writes well, did several drafts for each of his essay answers for applications to USMA, USNA, USAFA, ROTC, and each MOC. I know because he had me review every one of them. I encouraged him to include both style and substance; but probably more substance than style. In the end you want the readers to think is was both thoughtful and well written.