Well its really not killing you. Its stressful and full of anxiety, but killing you is a stretch (please see I am smiling and joking with you). I know this is the biggest decision of your life right now, but 10 years from now you will realize although it was one of the biggest there will have been so many others. I have said this over and over again, this is training for your future "hurry up and wait" in the military. These will happen every 2-3 years in the military. Waiting on orders, school selections, promotion boards, command boards, selection boards, PCS orders, etc. A few years ago pilot selection rates for 0-4 were below 50% for the USN (this has changed, so no panic for wanna be future pilots). So picture having a spouse and 2 kids, you are in Japan, planning to make this a career and now you are out of a job flying fighter jets and have to figure out how to feed a spouse and 2 kids while living in a foreign country? About 10 years ago I had a buddy who was split from their spouse due to orders, one west coast and other east coast. Had 1 kid and 1 on the way. They were waiting on orders to see if they would be co-located. First set of orders came through with no luck. So they are now planning on how to raise 2 small kids 3,000 miles apart from one another. Luckily their monitors worked together to solve this and they were able to get new orders. Just trying to add some perspective to all this and a glimpse into the future of a Naval Officer. Hang in there, its almost the 15th. Good luck.
and good luck to everybody waiting for a decision on the 15th