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- Jun 26, 2019
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Well now I’m crying. The moments that this life and sea change and future change hit you are personal. And unexpected. And to each his own.I was okay until…
We’re home from Annapolis and I-day was full of all the emotions others have spoken of. DS handled the day as expected, which was with solemnity for what he is committing himself to, courage for facing the challenges of these next few years head-on and pride for having made his dream come true. I could see the pride on his face as he walked towards us for the first time in his uniform.
Our hug after the oath was powerful and his emotions began to rise to the surface. He sat quietly and told us about his day. The waiting and waiting bothered him the most. He had to wait to see a doctor to talk about his surgery in the fall and apparently that took forever.
Once through that, he proceeded through the check in process and barely made it to his room to drop his sack of newly issued belongings off before he was being ushered out for the oath ceremony. He said he had no time to settle in, nothing was unpacked from the sack, and he hadn’t met his roommates yet. DH and I remained positive and encouraging.
I was okay when he said that some of the stations had run out of gear to issue him by the time he came through.
I was okay when we walked him towards his company meet-up to march into Bancroft and we hugged our final goodbye…and then he turned around after about 3 steps and came back to me for another hug. I don’t know how I didn’t break down right there because there was a random mother who witnessed it all and turned to me after he walked away the second time and started crying.
I was okay when we returned to the hotel room and I saw his water bottle decorated with all the stickers from his travels.
I was even okay when I packed up his monogrammed toiletry case the next morning as we prepared to leave Annapolis.
It wasn’t until we arrived home and I went to take his headphones up to his room as we unpacked that I wasn’t okay anymore…You see, when we were leaving in the early morning hours of Wednesday, I heard him coming down the stairs and he said “Mom, I have one last load of laundry”. Without even looking at him I said he should just leave it in the laundry room and I would take care of it when we returned. I assumed he had been too busy to do his own clothes from the days leading up to our departure as he visited friends and family, making the most of every day. But that was not the case, his hamper was empty, his clothes were all clean, his room neat and tidy as usual. It was his bedding. He had stripped his bedding and cleaned out his bathroom of all the used towels…not wanting to leave one of his normal responsibilities left unfinished. Seeing his bed stripped clean just made it all seem so final. I felt my heart actually squeeze.
He’ll be fine and he’ll do great. I-day was the beginning of the next phase of his life, and he’s ready for it. But my goodness, I was not prepared for the feeling I felt walking into his room and seeing his bed stripped bare.
PPW can’t come soon enough!
I’ve shared mine, it was a frozen food aisle and me abandoning my cart after dropping his favorite go to into the cart only to realize he was in quarantine 2400 miles away.
I appreciate you sharing. It makes it easier for others who have experienced something similar not feel isolated or alone. These are real feelings and moments that we experience as loved ones. Definitely not college.
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