Cold Feet

We are not a military family. A year ago, I was in a similar emotional journey like yourself. Am I still in it? Yep. My one and only, my son, received two appointments and is currently at USAFA finishing his freshman year. We live in Florida. He’s in Colorado Springs. There’s a time difference and it takes almost a day, depending whether or not airlines cancel or change your flights, to visit. Has it gotten easier for me? Nope. Has it “changed”? Kind of. I constantly remind myself it isn’t about me. He is thriving. I couldn’t be prouder. But I miss him terribly. I don’t let him know that. I would feel worse if he felt any guilt in his decision. I did my job. Now it’s time for him to do his. ❤️
 
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TLR2025 said:
We are not a military family. A year ago, I was in a similar emotional journey like yourself. Am I still in it? Yep. My one and only, my son, received two appointments and is currently at USAFA finishing his freshman year. We live in Florida. He’s in Colorado Springs. There’s a time difference and it takes almost a day, depending whether or not airlines cancel or change your flights, to visit. Has it gotten easier for me? Nope. Has it “changed”? Kind of. I constantly remind myself it isn’t about me. He is thriving. I couldn’t be prouder. But I miss him terribly. I don’t let him know that. I would feel worse if he felt any guilt in his decision. I did my job. Now it’s time for him to do his. ❤️
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Thank you so much for sharing and for your empathy! It's comforting to read these posts and know that others have gone through and are going through the same emotional rollercoaster. It's also comforting to know that there is a great network of parents to reach out to. You're absolutely correct, I too, would feel worse if DD felt any guilt in her decision. After a 2 hour conversation with a WP alumnus, DD happily stated she's 300% sure she wants to commit to WP. Decision made. And, as many of the posters have stated, the worrying is mine to bear, which I'll happily and proudly do. Thank you, again!
 
Mem2026 said:
Thank you so much for sharing and for your empathy! It's comforting to read these posts and know that others have gone through and are going through the same emotional rollercoaster. It's also comforting to know that there is a great network of parents to reach out to. You're absolutely correct, I too, would feel worse if DD felt any guilt in her decision. After a 2 hour conversation with a WP alumnus, DD happily stated she's 300% sure she wants to commit to WP. Decision made. And, as many of the posters have stated, the worrying is mine to bear, which I'll happily and proudly do. Thank you, again!
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Since she is out of the country until right before Rday, be sure and offer her help and support in getting through all the packets and packing list! My daughter typed up some notes after beast that I would love to share about packing.
 
Mem2026 said:
Thank you so much for your suggestion and offer of help if needed! It sounds like there's a great network of parent support groups! Thank you, again!
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bookreader said:
May I offer a suggestion? If you can, join your state's West Point parent club and get involved. Meet other people in real life who also have a kid at USMA. They will understand your concerns and will be a great source of camaraderie. If you have trouble finding a group in your state, send me a message and I will help you. You may also want to join the West Point FB pages as they are also a tremendous source of information.

I wish you well on this crazy journey.
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This is terrific advice! I would also advise to go to as many events at USMA as you can. When you get to know the area, become familiar with the base, meet other cadets and families it all becomes much more comfortable. And go get yourself a West Point car window sticker, you are an ARMY family now! Congrats!
 
DDmom said:
Since she is out of the country until right before Rday, be sure and offer her help and support in getting through all the packets and packing list! My daughter typed up some notes after beast that I would love to share about packing.
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YES, PLEASE!! Thank you so much!!!
 
xufan said:
This is terrific advice! I would also advise to go to as many events at USMA as you can. When you get to know the area, become familiar with the base, meet other cadets and families it all becomes much more comfortable. And go get yourself a West Point car window sticker, you are an ARMY family now! Congrats!
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Thank you for your advice and for being so welcoming! We're in CA, so don't know how frequently we can make events, but already have our hotels booked for R-Day, A-Day, and the Army Navy Game in Philadelphia. Am I missing any other major events? Is the 22-23 calendar out yet? Darn! Forgot to order the window sticker while I was ordering all of the other merch. Will do ASAP! :)
 
Mem2026 said:
Thank you for your advice and for being so welcoming! We're in CA, so don't know how frequently we can make events, but already have our hotels booked for R-Day, A-Day, and the Army Navy Game in Philadelphia. Am I missing any other major events? Is the 22-23 calendar out yet? Darn! Forgot to order the window sticker while I was ordering all of the other merch. Will do ASAP! :)
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Our DS is attending your soon to be rival. But I am smiling reading your post about buying merch and booking rooms. I’m so excited for your journey and grateful for your daughter’s commitment to servant leadership. Not an easy road by any stretch. But a road with intangible benefits and memories that will last generations.

I will wave at you when I finally get to attend Army Navy, likely next year. Congrats and hugs.
 
Heatherg21 said:
Our DS is attending your soon to be rival. But I am smiling reading your post about buying merch and booking rooms. I’m so excited for your journey and grateful for your daughter’s commitment to servant leadership. Not an easy road by any stretch. But a road with intangible benefits and memories that will last generations.

I will wave at you when I finally get to attend Army Navy, likely next year. Congrats and hugs.
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Thank you so much for your warm support! Love the friendly rivalry between Army and Navy, as at the end of the day, we're all on the same team!! YES, I have started drinking the kool-aid, and soon, I'll be doing it in West Point apparel! :D
 
Mem2026 said:
Thank you for your advice and for being so welcoming! We're in CA, so don't know how frequently we can make events, but already have our hotels booked for R-Day, A-Day, and the Army Navy Game in Philadelphia. Am I missing any other major events? Is the 22-23 calendar out yet? Darn! Forgot to order the window sticker while I was ordering all of the other merch. Will do ASAP! :)
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YES! You are missing the greatest event of plebe year...Plebe Parent Weekend, which runs Friday morning to Sunday morning at the start of Spring Break (usually one of the first weekends in March). The upper classmen are gone & the plebes rule the roost! There is a banquet and a dance (hop). Then when she is a firstie there is Ring Weekend (usually mid-late August) and then, of course, graduation week (Wednesday-Saturday) (Never too early to book reservations...but that is an entirely different thread.) If you have to pick between R-Day and A-Day...send her alone for R-Day--you literally kiss her goodbye early in the morning and don't get to talk to her again but A-Day weekend is all about being together.
 
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DDmom said:
Since she is out of the country until right before Rday, be sure and offer her help and support in getting through all the packets and packing list! My daughter typed up some notes after beast that I would love to share about packing.
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Oh goodness! Thank you for the heads up! The flood of paperwork requests have begun... 😁🤪
 
Mem2026 said:
Oh goodness! Thank you for the heads up! The flood of paperwork requests have begun... 😁🤪
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The packing list changes every year--but in addition to socks & underwear, it includes things like lighter, pocket knife, 550 cord, sand colored duct tape...you will wonder what sort of program you child will actually attend.
 
DrMom said:
YES! You are missing the greatest event of plebe year...Plebe Parent Weekend, which runs Friday morning to Sunday morning at the start of Spring Break (usually one of the first weekends in March). The upper classmen are gone & the plebes rule the roost! There is a banquet and a dance (hop). Then when she is a firstie there is Ring Weekend (usually mid-late August) and then, of course, graduation week (Wednesday-Saturday) (Never too early to book reservations...but that is an entirely different thread.) If you have to pick between R-Day and A-Day...send her alone for R-Day--you literally kiss her goodbye early in the morning and don't get to talk to her again but A-Day weekend is all about being together.
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And now... our hotel has been booked for Plebe Parents Weekend! 😂 I should ask which events to attend their second year, because hotels book up quickly!! I need to get those reservations in now!!! 🤪
 
Mem2026 said:
And now... our hotel has been booked for Plebe Parents Weekend! 😂 I should ask which events to attend their second year, because hotels book up quickly!! I need to get those reservations in now!!! 🤪
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I listed all of the events that parents are invited to for the entire four years: A-Day, R-Day, PPW: Plebe Year. Then, Ring Weekend and Graduation Week: Firstie Year. You can try to go for a football game during one of the other years (there is a Fall Parents Weekend but it is really just a busy football weekend--nothing special)... You all should definitely try to make it to an Army Navy Game one year--if you like to have fun & stand in the cold for 6 hours--but it is awesome. But really: 3 events plebe year, 2 events Firstie year. That's it!
 
We are also not a military family (and are liberal atheists, which seems to be atypical as well). I am a fairly “hands off” mom now that my kids are in their teens and 20. I like to tell them that I am a resource, but I try to let the make most decisions on their own. When my oldest decided to look into service academies I was quite surprised. A few friends told me “you can’t let him join the military!” Well I actually don’t get to decide—it’s his thing. He is thriving at USAFA (is spending a semester at USMA which is why I have been lurking on this site as well). He has clearly found his thing and his people. My middle one is a senior, planning to get a BFA in film production (seriously—thats a thing apparently?!?). Also not my choice. I have done my best to raise them to make the choices that they think are best for them. Now my 16-year-old texted me at work last night asking if it was ok to use the washer and dryer at the same time. Apparently that child still needs some work 😂!
 
FlyingTigerMom said:
We are also not a military family (and are liberal atheists, which seems to be atypical as well). I am a fairly “hands off” mom now that my kids are in their teens and 20. I like to tell them that I am a resource, but I try to let the make most decisions on their own. When my oldest decided to look into service academies I was quite surprised. A few friends told me “you can’t let him join the military!” Well I actually don’t get to decide—it’s his thing. He is thriving at USAFA (is spending a semester at USMA which is why I have been lurking on this site as well). He has clearly found his thing and his people. My middle one is a senior, planning to get a BFA in film production (seriously—thats a thing apparently?!?). Also not my choice. I have done my best to raise them to make the choices that they think are best for them. Now my 16-year-old texted me at work last night asking if it was ok to use the washer and dryer at the same time. Apparently that child still needs some work 😂!
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That third child is totally headed to the Naval Academy…
 
Mem2026 said:
And now... our hotel has been booked for Plebe Parents Weekend! 😂 I should ask which events to attend their second year, because hotels book up quickly!! I need to get those reservations in now!!! 🤪
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I went to family weekend every year, even plebe year, I also went to plebe parent weekend! This is my youngest of 4 children so I took every advantage of being there! Her sisters also found long weekends for coming to visit and took advantage of being close to nyc and the beachs in conn.
 
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