DoDMERB - does being honest kill the dream?

Discussion in 'DoDMERB' started by WhitMom4, Aug 14, 2017.

  1. WhitMom4

    WhitMom4 Member

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2017
    Messages:
    53
    Likes Received:
    55
    My DS completed the DoDMERB last night and answered truthfully, yes to "do you or did you ever use....". To both Alcohol and Marij. We doscussed this in depth. The times were few for alcohol and fewer for marij. I think he was just as freaked to tell me as he was to tell the DoD. He has a great resume, high scores and a high GPA. Lettered in 2 sports, flies planes, a CAP officer and Eagle Scout. A good kid who did a stupid teen thing.
    Is his dream od an appointment to SA dead?
     
  2. AROTC-dad

    AROTC-dad Moderator 5-Year Member

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2014
    Messages:
    5,007
    Likes Received:
    4,965
    Old Navy BGO and WhitMom4 like this.
  3. WhitMom4

    WhitMom4 Member

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2017
    Messages:
    53
    Likes Received:
    55
  4. AJC

    AJC Member

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2014
    Messages:
    994
    Likes Received:
    662
    while I understand your point it is not being honest that puts "the dream" in jeopardy.
    that said, plenty of people who "were honest" have received appointments.
     
    WhitMom4 and AROTC-dad like this.
  5. WhitMom4

    WhitMom4 Member

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2017
    Messages:
    53
    Likes Received:
    55

    I wan't sure if there's a zero tolerance policy with admissikns. I have read on a few threads that it doesnt mean this journey is over. Also, I have thought about the title of my prev post and tried to edit.....Because "honesty" didn't kill anything, his actions created this issue, not how to report them.
    He is keenly aware of this and will continue his work towards an appointment but understands that actions have consequences. I am proud that he knew he had to tell the truth and will cross any bridges that may come his way.
     
  6. flieger83

    flieger83 Super Moderator 10-Year Member

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2008
    Messages:
    3,631
    Likes Received:
    1,451
    Whittykc,

    Here...let me tell you how USAFA looks at this. IF the candidate has "experimented" with MJ...they will respond honestly on the form; then there will be some more paperwork to fill out: why, when, how often, etc...etc...it's an involved process. However I will also tell you that there is not a "once is done" policy at USAFA for MJ. They're realists; this is something that happens in high school. I have had a lot of appointees in my time as an ALO that were honest and owned up to what they'd done in the past. I've had one that was DQ'd from it; but his was, honestly, not experimenting: he was a user. **Added: testing positive in a DODMERB blood test would probably be a VERY bad idea.

    The alcohol...that's a non-issue if it's just a high school kid that went drinking with his buddies. Yes, it's illegal; yes, he shouldn't do it, but again...it's high school and they understand that. The form that he will have to attest to is the "Drug use, alcohol ABUSE" form. Two key words here: "use" and "ABUSE." Use is exactly what is says: did he use an illegal drug (and no, alcohol is not what they mean and it's clearly spelled out) ever? The alcohol abuse part; this has to be determined by a physician: is he physically/chemically reliant upon alcohol? If a physician has stated that he has an alcohol problem...then "Houston, we have a problem" but if it's just "Uh, dad...I'm sorry...I won't...but..." then that's between him and you.

    Does this make sense?

    Steve
    USAFA ALO
    USAFA '83
     
    turtlerunnernc and kinnem like this.
  7. Tex232

    Tex232 Member

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2015
    Messages:
    282
    Likes Received:
    161
    What kind of an Eagle Scout tries marijuana? I can understand alcohol but there's a reason they call drugs "dope".
     
    random_name likes this.
  8. Cerberi

    Cerberi Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2015
    Messages:
    749
    Likes Received:
    860
    I have never tried illegal drugs including marijuana. Right or wrong - I have found that puts me in a distinct minority including with many of my USAFA classmates from many years ago (not after they entered). The service academies aren't looking for saints. I congratulate the young man/Eagle Scout for admitting what he did, owning it, and growing from it. (and yes Ideally it would be much better if he had never done it and I applaud those that have always remained drug free)

    Some people are better leaders not because they have never made mistakes, but because they have made mistakes and (a) owned them (b) learned from them
     
  9. eljay60

    eljay60 AFROTC parent, former ANC in USAR

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2016
    Messages:
    253
    Likes Received:
    207
    As a former Scoutmaster, I must have missed the part where being an Eagle Scout conferred superior intelligence or sainthood. The Scout Law is an outstanding guideline, but I know precious few people who live it every day. Peer groups, rather than social clubs, are where dumb ideas like pot and alcohol experimentation come from. My son is an Eagle Scout; not one of his closest friends was even in Scouting. Fortunately, his peer group is more into marathon strategy gaming sessions fueled by Mountain Dew Voltage than buying illicit six-packs.
     
  10. WhitMom4

    WhitMom4 Member

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2017
    Messages:
    53
    Likes Received:
    55
    Thanks!
     
  11. WhitMom4

    WhitMom4 Member

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2017
    Messages:
    53
    Likes Received:
    55
    Thanks you! Thank you for understanding that I raised a human being, not God.
     
    kkg2000 likes this.
  12. WhitMom4

    WhitMom4 Member

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2017
    Messages:
    53
    Likes Received:
    55
    Thank you.
     
  13. WhitMom4

    WhitMom4 Member

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2017
    Messages:
    53
    Likes Received:
    55

    Thank you very much, yes, it makes perfect sense. The MJ incident was well over a year ago. As you know the question is clear, "do you or have you ever used. Trust me, it took the wind out of our sails when he told my husband and me. But we raised a human, he's bound to do stupid things. He completely regrets it and wishes he could go back but that's not possible. So he will have to keep working hard and make himself the best possible candidate. His scoutmaster tells me that he is a natural leader. I am no longer worried, what is meant to be will be! Thank you.
     
  14. WhitMom4

    WhitMom4 Member

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2017
    Messages:
    53
    Likes Received:
    55
    Thank you!
     
  15. Tex232

    Tex232 Member

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2015
    Messages:
    282
    Likes Received:
    161
    Actually now that you mention it, being an Eagle is supposed to confer a certain degree of superior morals, at least compared to the average population. That's the whole point of the scouting program: to raise young men who are more mature than their non-scouting counterparts. As for drug usage in the military, if the services can't find enough candidates without illegal drug usage, that's their problem. They shouldn't be lowering the ethical standards (or any other types of standards for that matter) just so they can meet their yearly quota.
     
  16. AROTC-dad

    AROTC-dad Moderator 5-Year Member

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2014
    Messages:
    5,007
    Likes Received:
    4,965
    The OP is here to get advice for a situation - Not to receive judgement or derogatory comments on past mistakes made.

    Please take this to the off topic forum if you wish to discuss standards and the military and/or scouts.
     
  17. WhitMom4

    WhitMom4 Member

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2017
    Messages:
    53
    Likes Received:
    55
    FYI. DS reports to BCT at USAFA on Thursday. So proud of him and his ability to keep working towards his goals and improve himself!
     
  18. WhitMom4

    WhitMom4 Member

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2017
    Messages:
    53
    Likes Received:
    55
    Good Evening, I wanted to thank you again for the advise above. Just to update you, DS reports to BCT in CS on Thursday. Thanks again for all the wisdom you pass down in this forum!
     
    Heatherg21 and AROTC-dad like this.
  19. flieger83

    flieger83 Super Moderator 10-Year Member

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2008
    Messages:
    3,631
    Likes Received:
    1,451
    AWESOME!!!! Congratulations to all of you!!

    Get ready for an even crazier ride!!

    Steve
    USAFA ALO
    USAFA '83
     
    WhitMom4 likes this.
  20. Humey

    Humey Member

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2016
    Messages:
    1,275
    Likes Received:
    849
    I would imagine that based on that, officers in the military especially those who commissioned through an academy dont committ crimes, get charged and get convicted.